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silentC
17th December 2004, 11:58 AM
Simple enough question.

silentC
17th December 2004, 12:01 PM
Bugger, forgot to make it public so that we can sledge the non-believers. Can someone oblige?

Grunt
17th December 2004, 12:06 PM
Do you like Cricket?


Oh no, I love it.

bitingmidge
17th December 2004, 12:09 PM
The poll has a further flaw:

I just don't like it, I LOVE it!

P :D

JackoH
17th December 2004, 12:17 PM
'Ere, Ere'.

Wongo
17th December 2004, 01:28 PM
No

Please dont send me back.

Driver
17th December 2004, 02:14 PM
No

Please dont send me back.

No danger of that, mate. However, you will need to become properly indoctrinated.

To that end, the following true story may be helpful:-

Several years ago, we were visited by a group of entrepreneurs from China. While they were here, they expressed a wish to see some cricket. It was explained to us by their interpreter that none of these gentlemen had ever witnessed a game but they had heard that Australians were devoted to it and they wanted to see for themselves.

We took them to our corporate box at the WACA ground on the second day of a Test match between Australia and India. They enjoyed the food and drink, the weather was beautiful (of course, this is Perth :) ) and they were mildly interested in the game. After about an hour, the most senior of the visitors asked a question through the interpreter: "How long does a game of cricket last?" I told the interpreter: "This is an international, a Test match, it lasts for 5 days."

The interpreter's eyebrows shot up: "Five hours!" he said. "That's a long game!"

"No, " I explained. "Perhaps you misheard me. The game lasts for five days."

When he had overcome his absolute astonishment, he translated. The gentlemen from Guangzhou thought this was hysterically funny. They then asked for an explanation of the rules.

I couldn't resist:

"Can you see the two men holding sticks?" Nods all round as the interpreter conveyed the question.

"They're in. They stay in until they get out. When they're out they have to go in. Then someone else comes out and he is in. He stays in until he gets out and then he goes in ...."

By this time, the interpreter had started to get confused and all the visitors were laughing like hell. We ordered some more beer and spent the rest of the afternoon making friends with each other. It was a good day.

Iain
17th December 2004, 02:20 PM
In a word no, however, if given the choice between this and fooball as a form of torture I would opt for the former.
Bring on the synchronised swimming :p

himzol
17th December 2004, 02:59 PM
I think 10CC said it best for me.

I don't like Cricket-a, I love it-a,

Himzo.

Zed
17th December 2004, 03:14 PM
I think Zed said it best for me :

"Cricket is for wankers"

Cheers :D

Grunt
17th December 2004, 03:19 PM
I must be a wanker then, but you lot already knew that.

:D

silentC
17th December 2004, 03:32 PM
You're in good company, Grunt :D

bitingmidge
17th December 2004, 03:35 PM
"Cricket is for wankers"


Ahhhh dear Zeddy, there are many ways of pleasuring oneself without resorting to self abuse.

Cheers,

P
:p :p :p

himzol
17th December 2004, 03:47 PM
You're in good company, Grunt :D


Yep. :D

The only problem I have with Cricket is that the TV in the office faces away from my bench. The other tech has seniority. :rolleyes:

Himzo.

ozwinner
17th December 2004, 06:42 PM
I think Zed said it best for me :

"Cricket is for wankers"

Cheers :D
Soooo you realy, realy, realy love cricket then?

Al :D

ozwinner
17th December 2004, 06:44 PM
No

Please dont send me back.
No chance of that old son, your ours, ( insert evil laugh here )

Al :D

craigb
17th December 2004, 06:52 PM
Forget rugby, Cricket is the game they play in heaven. (I suspect I'd still be 12th man though :D )

RETIRED
17th December 2004, 09:32 PM
Forget rugby, Cricket is the game they play in heaven. (I suspect I'd still be 12th man though :D )
What!! Do Yanks play? :D :D :rolleyes:

echnidna
17th December 2004, 09:49 PM
, yanks play Guitars and Banjos .

bitingmidge
17th December 2004, 09:50 PM
What!! Do Yanks play? :D :D :rolleyes:

Not in Heaven they don't! :eek:

P

echnidna
18th December 2004, 11:38 AM
Aint crickets those little black things something like grasshoppers

barnsey
18th December 2004, 11:54 AM
Just over an hour to go and then I can open a stubby and sit down and watch us beat the out of the pakis :D :D :D
Still i'll have to turn the volume up - with all the rain, heat & humidity you can hear the grass growing at the moment :p :p

The lawns and the shed will have to put up with before lunch activity till after New Year. Oh Boxing Day - only way to politely avoid the inlaws thanks to the Test :eek: :D :D :D

And may the big fella in the red suit treat you with the respect you deserve and the New Year reinforce that outcome :rolleyes: ;) :) :) :)

Cliff Rogers
18th December 2004, 12:39 PM
Cricket, on the radio.... grew up with it. :D

I find that I can work & listen to the radio, if the TV is on, I can't work.

I like having the TV near by so I can go & look at highlights.

I prefer a close game, I don't find total walk-overs very entertaining.
I reckon the effort that Harris put in by batting with a crook arm the other day was amazing.
I also reckon that it wasn't very sporting of the Oz fast bowlers trying to knock F'n his head off when they knew he was playing injured... but, the Kiwi's seem to bring out the 'kill them' spirit in the Oz team.

barnsey
18th December 2004, 12:52 PM
I'm with you Cliff - the commentary on the ABC can be quite brilliant yet at times sinks into the same moronic diatribe that is the standard on commercial TV. ;) ;)

Ben from Vic.
18th December 2004, 01:18 PM
I'm not sure. My feelings lie somewhere between what Zed says.....



I think Zed said it best for me :

"Cricket is for wankers"

Cheers :D


and what Zed says....



I think Zed said it best for me :

"Cricket is for wankers"

Cheers :D

Ian007
18th December 2004, 03:29 PM
I think Zed said it best for me :

"Cricket is for wankers"

Cheers :D

wanker
(plural wankers)
n (taboo)
1. a taboo term for somebody who masturbates
2. a taboo term for an unpleasant, self-indulgent, pretentious, or arrogant person
3. a term used to explain a person who strongly dislikes the mighty game of cricket
4. Zed


enough said :D

echnidna
18th December 2004, 03:30 PM
I think Zed said it best for me :

"Cricket is for wankers"

Cheers :D

Agreed
It also is a waste of Sawdust making time.

Iain
19th December 2004, 08:11 AM
wanker
(plural wankers)
n (taboo)
1. a taboo term for somebody who masturbates
2. a taboo term for an unpleasant, self-indulgent, pretentious, or arrogant person
3. a term used to explain a person who strongly dislikes the mighty game of cricket
4. Zed


enough said :D
Shouldn't #4 be Wankee? :D

DanP
19th December 2004, 02:25 PM
Will you guys keep it down. The crickets on :p

Grunt
19th December 2004, 05:09 PM
The crickets on

Sadly it's all over, didn't even make it to lunch on day 4.

echnidna
19th December 2004, 06:22 PM
Sadly it's all over, didn't even make it to lunch on day 4.

And for this you miss the opportunity to make sawdust???? :eek: :eek: :eek:

Zed
19th December 2004, 09:59 PM
Sadly it's all over, didn't even make it to lunch on day 4.


told you it was a pathetic game, with pigeon bowling 8 for 20 something whats the point - they may as well play outer mongolia or the second eleven from dubbo.

did anyone ever see riping yarns? the eposode called "thompkinsons school days " ????? remember where the masters played the students at rugby ? bit lopsided wot ?

i'm afraid that the chain smoking, earing wearing, wife cheating fool who doesnt know about sms messages, the captain who cried, the captians brother who bowled a mully grubber underarm, the cheat from south africa who died in an aeroplane.. oh and cried when he got caught..., the aussie captain who gets drunk and spews at night clubs, the fat pig who drank 56 beers from sydney to london, doug walters who advocates smoking in case he gets out early, the chesty bond flanelette shirts, the moustaches, the sledging, the gracelessness, the slagging oppositions family, the fact that its a pommie game and "sir" dick hadlee's (a w@nker!!!) all does it for me. I'd rather play golf, my wife or in the shed than waste 5 days!!!!!

ptewwy! spit! :D

craigb
19th December 2004, 10:24 PM
Yes, but what do you really think ? :D

bitingmidge
19th December 2004, 10:38 PM
Gee Zed (or since apparently the poms can't do anything right, I s'pose we should be calling you Zee :D ), for someone who feigns intense disinterest in the game, you are a veritable walking encyclopaedia.

I'm starting to think that Steve Waugh isn't the only Tugger in the grounds!

:D :D :D :D
P

silentC
20th December 2004, 09:04 AM
OK, I'll come right out and say it. Dislike of cricket is un-Australian. There, I said it.

Zed
20th December 2004, 09:25 AM
OK, I'll come right out and say it. Dislike of cricket is un-Australian. There, I said it.


thats untrue. Ich bin ein Aussie!

Zed
20th December 2004, 09:27 AM
Gee Zed (or since apparently the poms can't do anything right, I s'pose we should be calling you Zee :D ), for someone who feigns intense disinterest in the game, you are a veritable walking encyclopaedia.

I'm starting to think that Steve Waugh isn't the only Tugger in the grounds!

:D :D :D :D
P

for someone whis a apparently a fan you have an amazing lack of knowledge of the game, tugger has retired... :D as has his betting scandal brother.

echnidna
20th December 2004, 10:21 AM
OK, I'll come right out and say it. Dislike of cricket is un-Australian. There, I said it.

So the over 40% of people on this forum who did not say they liked cricket are Un-Australian!!!!!!!!!
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :p

silentC
20th December 2004, 10:26 AM
Yes. :p

Grunt
20th December 2004, 10:26 AM
So the over 40% of people on this forum who did not say they liked cricket are Un-Australian!!!!!!!!!



Yes, all of you who don't like cricket can go now. Leave Australia to us Australians.

:D

DaveInOz
20th December 2004, 11:01 AM
I don't want to sound negative, or imply that no-one else should enjoy watching some blokes standing around for 5 days .... but ..... I would rather carve a full size replica of the statue of David, out of laminated MDF and asbestos, using only my teath and a desert spoon.

bitingmidge
20th December 2004, 11:06 AM
for someone whis a apparently a fan you have an amazing lack of knowledge of the game, tugger has retired... :D as has his betting scandal brother.

Oh I stand corrected!!! :D :D :D

But then I ask, what does a love of the game have to do with acquiring an intimate knowledge of the most personal habits of it's participants?

They are just skilled artisans (or are they craftsmen?) the result of whose labours is a joy to behold, what they are or do off the field is of no consequence to anyone except dedicated readers of Dolly magazine.

P
:D :D :D

Zed
20th December 2004, 11:13 AM
Oh I stand corrected!!! :D :D :D

But then I ask, what does a love of the game have to do with acquiring an intimate knowledge of the most personal habits of it's participants?

They are just skilled artisans (or are they craftsmen?) the result of whose labours is a joy to behold, what they are or do off the field is of no consequence to anyone except dedicated readers of Dolly magazine.

P
:D :D :D

for the same reasons people watch soap opera's Ie : who's gunna do what to who next and when.... lets not forget that the idolisation of these fat freaks means that they get sniffed out for farting in public by the media... how can you NOT know everything about them....

BTW - why would shane warne want to play about on his missus ? she's a doll!! the man must be crackers.....

Grunt
20th December 2004, 12:04 PM
why would shane warne want to play about on his missus ? she's a doll!! the man must be crackers.....

'Coz he is a dickhead in so many ways. As far as I can tell his only redeeming quality is that he is the best leg spin bowler the game has produced.

silentC
20th December 2004, 12:09 PM
Just to take that argument a bit further, I don't give a toss what Shane Warne does in his private life.

I don't care if he is a dickhead and I don't care if he is fat, skinny, a smoker, an adulterer, or a saint. He plays cricket for Australia and is bloody good at it. That's all I care about. I'm not going to invite him around for dinner and I don't care what he thinks about detention of asylum seekers. I just want him to be the best spin bowler the world has ever seen.

DanP
20th December 2004, 12:14 PM
Hear hear Silent(?). AND, he is the best LEGAL spin bowler the world has, or is ever likely to see.

Dan (the can of worms has been opened)

himzol
20th December 2004, 12:19 PM
I don't want to sound negative, or imply that no-one else should enjoy watching some blokes standing around for 5 days .... but ..... I would rather carve a full size replica of the statue of David, out of laminated MDF and asbestos, using only my teath and a desert spoon.

Would you use your teeth or the spoon when you got to the genetalia? :D

As for those Knocking Shane, well I wouldn't go so far as give him my wifes mobile phone number :rolleyes: but as Dan said at least his action is legal.

(BTW she thinks he's fat and ugly) :D

craigb
20th December 2004, 12:46 PM
As far as I can tell his only redeeming quality is that he is the best leg spin bowler the game has produced.

Yes, that sounds about right.

DanP
20th December 2004, 01:15 PM
Pity he won't hold the record for long. He will be overtaken by the biggest stuff up the ICC has ever allowed.

HappyHammer
20th December 2004, 01:20 PM
Hear hear Silent(?). AND, he is the best LEGAL spin bowler the world has, or is ever likely to see.

Dan (the can of worms has been opened)
Not that old chestnut, I'm getting the serious s with Australians having a go at other teams bowlers particularly Murali. No wonder people dislike cricket when all they hear about is how they ***** and moan all the time, it's handbags at 10 paces stuff, they need to grow up and get on with it.

Australia is the best team in the world on the pitch and they do themselves, or the game, no favours by acting like spoilt children. It is blatently obvious to a bystander that the attack on Murali was about him not ending up with more wickets than the fat blonde bloke.

BTW, I love cricket and have taken a lot of heat over Englands performances in the past, it's good to see them in some form having demolished the West Indies and New Zealand, let's hope they do the same to South Africa and then hopefully we'll have a competetive ashes series.

Sorry DanP that worm got up my nose.:D :D

HH.

bitingmidge
20th December 2004, 01:32 PM
for the same reasons people watch soap opera's Ie :
. how can you NOT know everything about them.....

In another message you suggested I was Nasty!! :o :o :o To that I can only aspire!!

YOU want nasty Zee??? :D

I'll give you NASTY!!!

I rest my case, here is the greatest relevance to woodwork thus far in the thread, (apart from the sacred willow of course).

Soap operas are performed by wooden performers for people with wooden brains.

I can NOT know everything about them, because I prefer intellectual stimulation to mindless drek... that of course is also the reason that Kerry O'Keefe has been able to rise to take the mantle of the late great Alan McGivray as the only commentator of the sport.

The others are there for the entertainment of primates.

Cheers,

P


:D :D :D

DanP
20th December 2004, 01:35 PM
That's fine HH,

But you seem to have forgotten that the whole chucking thing started with him being called by in internationallly accredited umpire. Yes the Aussies have used it to try and upset him, but that was in response to Murali saying that several aussies "chuck". I am not picking on just Murali, there are a few bowlers who IMO throw the ball, aussies included, but none of them are as pronounced or get the result that Murali gets.

Dan

HappyHammer
20th December 2004, 01:37 PM
That's fine HH,

But you seem to have forgotten that the whole chucking thing started with him being called by in internationallly accredited umpire. Yes the Aussies have used it to try and upset him, but that was in response to Murali saying that several aussies "chuck". I am not picking on just Murali, there are a few bowlers who IMO throw the ball, aussies included, but none of them are as pronounced or get the result that Murali gets.

Dan
Where's the umpire now ? :D :D

HH.

DanP
20th December 2004, 01:38 PM
Dunno, Can't even remember who it was.

echnidna
20th December 2004, 01:41 PM
This threads just about as bad a a cricket commentary on the radio.

HappyHammer
20th December 2004, 01:57 PM
Here's a link about chucking, there were three umpires that called Murali and Darryl Hair wrote a book about it and called Murali's action "diabolical", now he's a w*nker!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/828531.stm

HH.

Zed
20th December 2004, 02:03 PM
because I prefer intellectual stimulation to mindless drek...

The others are there for the entertainment of primates.

Cheers,

P


:D :D :D

Midge, your leading with your chin again.... :D

Note 1 - cricket - intellectual stimulation ??? surely you jest!
Note 2 - humans are primates mate.
Note 3 - there are any number of commentators, how many would you like to name buddy ? Are you sure you're not american ? :p

silentC
20th December 2004, 02:20 PM
Note on note 1 - Midge refers to his abstinence from the media of the chattering classes. In other words, if you don't read tabloids or watch A Current Affair it is possible to 'not know everything about them'. However, in as much as any sport can be considered intellectually stimulating, on some levels cricket can be. Maybe it appeals to certain types more than others, like chess or lawn bowls.

Note on note 2 - True by definition, he's got you there Midge.

Note on note 3 - Read Midge's post again, Zee. He said Kerry O'Keefe is the only commentator of the game, the others are there for the entertainment of the primates.

Ben from Vic.
20th December 2004, 02:46 PM
Easy Gentlemanz, your all in breach of the Wood Workers creed.

And I quote......


on this board we do not enter into political debates or debates on foreign policies of our own or other countries. We also do not discuss religion, cricket, sharpening, pancakes or the accuracies of Triton equipment.

Thank you.




;) :D

Zed
20th December 2004, 02:52 PM
Note on note 3 - Read Midge's post again, Zee. He said Kerry O'Keefe is the only commentator of the game, the others are there for the entertainment of the primates.

so whats o'keefe there for ? if everyone else is for the entertainment of the primates does this mean that o'keefe is there for the entertainment of the wilderbeasts and stingrays ?

friggin' cricket w@nkers! :D

silentC
20th December 2004, 02:55 PM
so whats o'keefe there for ? if everyone else is for the entertainment of the primates does this mean that o'keefe is there for the entertainment of the wilderbeasts and stingrays ?

friggin' cricket w@nkers! :D

No, he's there for his own entertainment. :rolleyes:

:D

Iain
20th December 2004, 03:13 PM
Can we have a few minutes out while the machine cleans up?

bitingmidge
20th December 2004, 07:09 PM
Midge, your leading with your chin again.... :D

Note 2 - humans are primates mate.



Hmmmmm... and Midges are......?????


Nice try Zeddy
:D :D :D
P

Christopha
20th December 2004, 07:13 PM
So warneypoos can throw a ball betterer than some other twat? Who gives a toss? I think it a bit sad that a fair proportion of our society idolise a piece of scum whose only claims to fame are his ability to throw a ball (don't chimps do that fairly well too??) and his prowess as a one handed masturbator whilst holding a telephone and spewing filth into the ear of some dopey hairybacked pommy sheila?????????? :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

ozwinner
20th December 2004, 07:22 PM
One green'n on its way. :D


Al :D

echnidna
20th December 2004, 07:23 PM
An annuva greenie for Christpha

ozwinner
20th December 2004, 07:29 PM
An annuva greenie for Christpha
Keep em coming. Mwwhahhaaaa. ( evil laugh ) :D

Al

Grunt
20th December 2004, 07:35 PM
Another one from me.
I do think that one handed wanking and telephone sex should become a national sport though. We'd get to see even more of Warnie.

ozwinner
20th December 2004, 07:47 PM
Can we have a few minutes out while the machine cleans up?
What the f.........................?

Al :confused:

Iain
21st December 2004, 07:18 AM
Crapavac, easier than using a shovel when theres so much of it around.

himzol
21st December 2004, 03:47 PM
dopey hairybacked pommy sheila

I thought the hairybacked sheila was South African :confused: :D

JackoH
21st December 2004, 04:08 PM
Stop this !!

DanP
21st December 2004, 04:56 PM
Don't read it if you don't like it...simple!! It will die of it's own accord.

echnidna
21st December 2004, 07:05 PM
Or get hijacked again

bitingmidge
21st December 2004, 07:39 PM
Don't read it if you don't like it...simple!! It will die of it's own accord.

Now Dan, as I understand it, the Death of Cricket has already been celebrated just a little prematurely, and its very Ashes are the cause of a recurrent contest betwixt the Mother Country and the Colony, so it is unlikely that this thread will EVER die.:D

The Late Douglas Adams did get to explain in his own inimitable manner, the workings of the Universe, and the rather central part that Cricket had to play in it all.

I guess you're going to have to read the fourth (or was it the fifth?) book in his trilogy to gain a higher understanding.

Cheers,

P :D