Paddy & Mick

Paddy and Mick were walking home one night when they noticed a head sitting on the road.Paddy says to Mick look thats Shauns head on the road, But Mick says no its not! Paddy says Aye it is. So Paddy says well take it to his missus and she will tell us it is. So they knock on Shauns missus door and she answers it and Paddy asks Is this your Shaun? No my Shaun is taller than that.

Earlier that day Paddy and Mick were walking down the street when they noticed a sign saying: "TREE FELLERS WANTED"

Mick turned to Paddy and said. "You know, if Shaun was 'ere we could'a had that job!"

Paddy and Mick (THIS IS A TRUE STORY) went to a Ball all dressed up, and come suppertime, Pat confided to Mick that he had been refused every dance thus far.
Mick asked Pat if he had changed his socks before leaving home, to which Pat answered in the negative.
Mick suggested Pat take his socks off........

After the Ball on the way home, Mick asked if Pat had better luck with the ladies, to which Mick replied 'No.'
'Did ye take yer socks off?' asked Mick.
'Sure oi did,' said Pat.
Mick- 'Pwhat did ye do wit' em?'
Pat - 'Oi put em in me pocket>"

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Bob- You won't get a second chance to make a good first impression...