The lathe is a silly zone!

[soundman]

Have you ever noticed how silly things happen arround the lathe.
Even when you have an accident and get hurt, even that seems somehow silly.

Have you ever stabed youself in the ebow with the tail centre :eek: ouch, that was silly.
Whacked yours fingers on some part of the chuck:( that was silly.

Noticed the silly places bits of shavings and chips get to:rolleyes:

have you been sanding away and lost your grip on the paper and it shoots off in any direction it wants to with that characteristic FLLIPPT sound :D now thats realy silly.

How many times have you lost your sand paper or polishing rag down the dust extraction.... now that does make some silly noises:D :D

What else have you lost down your dust extraction.... I lost one of my tommy bars bown the pipe today and it went all the way to the bag... I think:confused: I havn't dug it up yet.

Near the lathe is a realy silly place..

cheers

[Slow6]

like that THWUMP.. and then the slow process of gently prodding each rib in turn and giving it a "bruised but not broken" verdict?

these days I try to end the day at about quarter to silly.

so far so good.


polishing rag down the dust extraction

funny.. at the melbourne wood show I went to our sponsors stall to ask a few questions and just as I was hailing the bloke pollishing a little bowl with an "excuse me mate bu...." WHIP, whappa whappa! no more rag:D

made me laugh and I forgot to ask why shellawax smells like a ladys hand bag and bought more of the stuff:eek:

good sales technique.. sneaky buggers:rolleyes:

[SawDustSniffer]

had my china made poor excuse for a bit of Machinary ( my lathe ) at full speed ,when my goblet jumped out of the chuck and went "walk about" , i have an open shed so it took off out side , in the middle of a monsoon rain at night , found it with the lawn mower 2 weeks later 100m from the shed , not much left of it after John Deare had his way with it ??

[soundman]

Or getting the rag caught arround the job.

WWWWWIPPPP:eek: :eek: ..... WHAPPTA.... WHAPPTA..... WHAPPTA ... with shavings and dust flying evrywhere.:D :D

The extractor is like a naughty puppy some times...... pull, tug...:mad: .. give me that rag back..:mad: .... a real bugger when you are half way thru a shellawax pass.:D :D

[TTIT]

Or.... The air-hose is way over there.... I'll just get my face down close and blow the stuff out :o ...cough splutter ahhhhcccchhoooooo! ...... why did I do that???:( :D:D:D:D:D

[hughie]

14" bowl, thin pine, well spalted, trying to do a Ron Kent. Putting the finishing touches, just walked away to get some more fine grade paper.

KFB :eek: .............:D :D The whole bowl disintergrated into a couple hundred pieces peppered the shed with wooden shrapnel.



went back to the house and found something else to do less traumatic!

[Barry_White]

Hey cut it out will yus. I'm about to start on lathe turning and your frightening the life out of me.

[Waldo]

G'day Soundman,

Great laugh thanks.

My lathe is after me, I think it's possessed. Walk into my office and past the lathe and it jumps out and hits me in the ribs.

I ask it, "Now why'd you go and do that?" :confused:

It just sits there not saying anything like a stunned mullet.

When it's not being used it sits there waiting, with a live centre in the tail stock and a drill chuck in the head, waiting. I think it's waiting to come and pin me in the ribs from both sides. All silent and all, but I know it's evil intentions. :eek:

Stunned mullet.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

There's nothing like changing the jaws on your chuck in the middle of a job, only to hear the "clank, rattle, rattle" of one of your hex-screws as it rolls it's merry way along the ducting to the seperator. :rolleyes:

Does it land on top of the sawdust in the seperator when it gets there, so that waving a magnet over it will find it? No, of course not. Even though it takes several minutes to rattle it's way down a few yards of ductwork (fixed overhead, of course) delighting in taunting you with it's leisurely progress, it exits the duct-work at 100mph so it embeds itself some one or two feet deep into the shavings. :(

I tell a lie; there's one other thing exactly like it. I sincerely recommend that you make sure the grub-screws for your oland and deep-hollowing tools are tight. It can be embarassing when, after spending 5 mins trying to work out just why the tools not cutting right you take it to the grinder and discover... there ain't no tip... :eek: Feeling silly is the least of it! :o

[ss_11000]

there was this one time at school when a bloke was using the dusty to get shavings off him when his glasses ( in case too ) went up the dusty and into the dust room. took em a while to find em.

[Stuart]

Nice one Stirlo - can totally see that happening, and the resulting search, particularly without glasses to help see!

[Farnk]

Or the 2nd degree burns on your right elbow from that smoking hot forstner bit that you just used to remove all the centre material from the hollow peice you were working on.

I'll do that once..
Just like the time I filled up the bike and forgot to turn the fuel tap back to ON from Reserve! That was a long walk..

[soundman]

emptied my dusty yesterday & found.
several perfectly servicable pieces of sandpaper, my anti jam washer I lost a week ago when I spun the chuck off, and no the tommy bar wasn't there:confused:
Further investigation found it the length of flexible hose.

The silliest thing is that the lathe makes you look at ANY piece of wood no matter how large or small, crappy or rediculously expensive, available free or allready the subject of some other turners undying devotion as a potentential candidate for turning.

It's like beeing a teenage boy at the the beach all over again but without quite so many social stigmas.

it just silly.

cheers

[Doughboy]

Farnk I too have had that long walk!!!!


Worse still I was scooting along a country road between Yass and Young. Looked across to the left and saw another road, thought to myself it must join with this one. It did not join it was this one, it was this one..... an unmarked hairpin. At 180kph I decided I would slow down rapidly but it was not quick enough. I hit the hairpin at 120 i think it was and attempted to take the corner none-the-less. I remember the bike highsiding and me going ..... faaaarrrrrrk this is going to ------ nice flower (a bluebell was growing in the gravel on the side of the road), and then I hit the fence.

Six weeks in traction, broke L1 through L5 and S1 and S2.


Now that was SILLY.

Pete

[tonysa]

So its not just me then - PHEW !

Thanks guys, I'm feelin' a whole lot better now.
I can relate to all that except searching along the pipe work, but I bet you a dime to a dollar it'll happen to me when the piping's up :(


Cheers
TonySA

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

You'll be surprised what you can find up there. I haven't yet found any chisels in the seperator, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time. :rolleyes:

I found a couple of small finials there the other day, yet I don't remember turning them let alone losing 'em? :confused: Do I have a phantom turner in my shed? It'd explain the blunt gouges every time I start work...

[soundman]

I recon it might be worth putting a microphone near the dusty to record some of the silly sounds that come from it.... I might be able to sell them to the cartoon people.:D :D

cheers

[DavidG]

I like the block of wood that is trying to climb up the wall.
Just watch it till it stops spinning and put it back on.

[rsser]

Good thread.

Could always try some netting over the entry to your DC setup.

My ouch: the bed on the Stubby slides in and out on a turntable which is held in the straight position with a steel pin. The bed takes a bit of moving, two hands needed. Learned the hard way not to grip it too low pushing in or the pinkie gets crushed by the pin.

Tiredness is the enemy but when you're stoked you don't notice. Last ski run of the day or last session on a motorbike track day is when most crashes happen.

Pete, I feel for you. Have only done a thumb and that was enough.

[Rookie]

Notice how, when the weather gets hotter, and people like you all leave the lids off the glue bottles and finish bottles, the fumes seem to gather quicker and spread further. I think you are all standing down wind of the bottles. :D :D

[TTIT]

Have I been on this forum too long? I've got mental pictures of everyone looking like their avatars - Skew the mean lookin' cap'n - Ern glued to a yellow rice-burner - Hughie the studious scientific type - unfortunately Wendy didn't have the red suit on when I was lucky enough to meet her - -






- but mainly I'm really worried about meeting Rookie one day !!!!;):D:D

[rsser]

Yeah, meeting Skew in the flesh was a good corrective to assumptions :D

And matching your avatar to 'Vern' a bit of a surprise too.

Gotta laugh when Slow met me and heard him wonder out loud about my old, accurate, avatar ;-} Did you think it was one of the goons Slow?

Good to see Cliff still sticking to a photo but maybe that's 20 years old (heh heh).

And I do like the quotations in folk's signatures. Skew's takes the cake IMO.
...

John, that's a thought. I should start finishing with single malt ... that's to say inside me rather than open on the bench :p where it would be wasted on the nose.

[Slow6]

Did you think it was one of the goons Slow?

you dont wanna know:rolleyes::D

[rsser]

maybe not, but pm me anyway. I don't know exactly where you live ;-}

[SawDustSniffer]

was 1/2 asleep on the lathe with gouge in hand , looking at my mud map for a cog mould i was making out of plaster for a mate ,when i noticed the gouge was no longer in my hand but sticking out of my calf ,
WAT DER F%&^ ??? how'd that happen
must have cought the work when i wasnt looking , shot out of my hand , hit a 75mm round leg of the bench behind , then bit me

bugger

couldn't do any thing but think "what are the chances of that happening ?" only a small gash " she'll be right "

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Yeah, meeting Skew in the flesh was a good corrective to assumptions :D

OK, so I've mellowed out with age. Woodturning really is a good way to relieve tensions. ;)

But if you'd come in the guise of a customer with a complaint, rather than as a fellow woody bearing gifts, you'd have seen a whole different side of me! :D:p

[soundman]

The lathe remains a silly place:D

I was doing the final sand on the seat disk for a milking stool today.

This seat disk is 240mm diameter and about 50mm thick kweela.

anyway I had it screwed to a face plate and had taken it on and of the lathe a couple of times complete with faceplate attached so I could get some sanding sealer on it.

So here I am sanding away at this big round lump of kweela & I decide to stop the lathe to have a good look at it...... so off with the switch and I brake the lathe with the hand wheel......before I could think about it the face plate unscrewed off the head stock and the lump of hardwood is off across the bench.:eek: :eek: ..I'm sure it was trying to escape out the door but I managed to catch it before it got out of reach.

The realy silly thing is....... I did the same thing 10 minutes later while I was waxing it:D :D

cheers

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Seems to be the day for it.

Today I thought I'd turn some fancier kid's spinning tops. Normally I just turn half a dozen simple ones from a chisel-handle sized length mounted in the stub jaws, but this time I used short, pre-rounded lengths and was holding them in a jam-chuck. It made it easier to turn a fancy handle, then I could just flip 'em over and get tricky on the bottom, playing with my chatter tools, etc. 'Twas just a bit of fun. :p

So... about the third top I turned, I got sidetracked and it ended up with two handles. A couple of tops later and I did exactly the same thing again. :eek: The third time around, I decided to park up for the day... :o

I wonder if I could pass them off as very short rolling pins?

[Barry_White]

The lathe remains a silly place:D

I was doing the final sand on the seat disk for a milking stool today.

This seat disk is 240mm diameter and about 50mm thick kweela.

anyway I had it screwed to a face plate and had taken it on and of the lathe a couple of times complete with faceplate attached so I could get some sanding sealer on it.

So here I am sanding away at this big round lump of kweela & I decide to stop the lathe to have a good look at it...... so off with the switch and I brake the lathe with the hand wheel......before I could think about it the face plate unscrewed off the head stock and the lump of hardwood is off across the bench.:eek: :eek: ..I'm sure it was trying to escape out the door but I managed to catch it before it got out of reach.

The realy silly thing is....... I did the same thing 10 minutes later while I was waxing it:D :D

cheers

Saw that happen to a tradesman when I was an Apprentice Pattermaker, the only thing it was a 5 foot diameter ring attached to a cross arms on a 2 foot diam face plate. He hadn't jammed the face plate on to the spindle and when he turned the lathe off the motor stopped and the face plate kept on unwinding.

It took about 30 seconds to get traction on the tallow wood floor and the tradesman took off with it chasing him across the pattern shop. He jumped up the timber rack and the pattern crashed into the bottom of the timber rack just missing him.

[soundman]

It took about 30 seconds to get traction on the tallow wood floor and the tradesman took off with it chasing him across the pattern shop. He jumped up the timber rack and the pattern crashed into the bottom of the timber rack just missing him.

& the lesson is alway run at rightangles.:crutch:

[Dennis Millard]

Or the time I had just put a new window in the shed, when a piece flew off the lathe and went straight through the middle of it- But that wasn't all!
I decided I didn't have time to repair it properly now, so I found a piece of glass big enough to cover the whole thing and pinned it in place until I got time to fit it- yep! You guessed it! The same piece! I considered fitting a mesh protecter across the window but thought it might be tempting fate...

[Dennis Millard]

Or the 2nd degree burns on your right elbow from that smoking hot forstner bit that you just used to remove all the centre material from the hollow peice you were working on.

I'll do that once..
Just like the time I filled up the bike and forgot to turn the fuel tap back to ON from Reserve! That was a long walk..

[Little Festo]

Was sanding a undercut rim of spaulted mango bowl with some course sandpaper - well the paper "gripped' and whipped the finger around - dislocated finger. had a look at the odd angle -then pulled it back "straight", after-all you see footballers do this quite often (they are twentyish not fifty plus), didn't hurt untill about 10 minutes later. I finished it as a matter of principal, pain wasn't going to win.


Peter

[baxter]

Was in a turning group one night when the chap to my right was turning a largish platter.

Shock of my life as it wizzed pass at miles per hour, out the door next to me, across a meeting room and into the wall on the other side.

Kept away from him after that.

[Wayne Blanch]

Was sanding a undercut rim of spaulted mango bowl with some course sandpaper - well the paper "gripped' and whipped the finger around - dislocated finger. had a look at the odd angle -then pulled it back "straight", after-all you see footballers do this quite often (they are twentyish not fifty plus), didn't hurt untill about 10 minutes later. I finished it as a matter of principal, pain wasn't going to win.
I did the almost same thing a couple of years ago. Sanding the underside of an overhanging lip on a bowl when the paper, finger and hand were suddenly spinning nicely. :)( The finger was broken, the tendon was pulled away from the bone. I am now a lot more cautious when sanding. I had months of specialist care to get the finger working again. Probably the worst of it all was that the bowl was truly ugly:(( so I decided to re-turn it and as per usual I said "Just one more cut here" No more bowl.:upset:
See ya
Wayne