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  1. #76
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Launceston
    Age
    75
    Posts
    850

    Default Coffin bits

    Once upon a time my favourite shop used to be "Ecosalve" here in Launceston (since closed down due to the weirdness of the local council who seemed to think that reycling from the tip is wrong in some way - damned idiots! - there are moves afoot to have the recyling made operational again but it is taking soooo long to scratch a hole through the bureaucracy).

    Anyway i saw some bright and shiney bundles of things which looked like they might come in useful one day and they were only $1.00.
    Some time later a mate was perusing part of my hoard and asked me if i knew what they were to which i replied no but they looked like they might be good for replica clock fronts.
    "Hmm", he said and then continued on to tell me that they were coffin handles.
    "Good grief", sez i. Put me right off them and they vanished some time later.
    They were made of white plastic covered with fake chrome and most definitely would not have been able to support a coffin in the hands of a pall bearer.

    Incidently, someone once told me that due to the depth at which folks are buried (which is too deep for the normal soil micro-organisms to due their business) that what consumes the corpse are the livestock that already lurks within us.

    It occurs to me that what we need is a large posthole digger somewhat bigger than those used to plant power poles and then we could just drill a vertical hole thus using a lot less space. (Although paupers used to be planted vertically so, no doubt, someone with more pretensions might take umbrage at not being able to occupy more land they they really needed just to show how important they are.

    Don't we have weird ideas when it comes to death and how we get rid of our shell? After all the best bit has already left and gone "Home".

    i wonder just how much crematoriums have contributed to "global warming"?

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  3. #77
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    Location
    Adelaide South Australia
    Posts
    15

    Default My Father in Laws Coffin

    You can bury someone in a homemade coffin in SA because My father in law built his out of scrap bits of timber laying around his farm. He painted it battleship grey and listed all of the ports he had sailed into on the side (He was a merchant seaman). He took the coffin up to the funeral directors to make sure that it was legal? (Ie that he didnt fall out of it when He was lifted). It was approved by the funeral director and also He put it in his will that He be buried in it!. I know this actually happened because I was present at the funeral when he was buried in it.Cheers Shaun

  4. #78
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Mareeba Far Nth Qld
    Age
    83
    Posts
    3,070

    Default

    I have so far kept out of this topic, but decided to add my bit.
    In a previous life, (in the 1960'S), I was an undertaker and we made our own coffins. When a cremation was called for we used chrome plated plastic handles and these were not removed from the coffin. In fact our supplier used to supply a "cremation" kit. I also worked in a coffin factory in Brisbane, building coffins for twelve months.
    We were never presented with a "home" made coffin. I have recently discussed all this with the undertaker in my home town and was advised that there is no Australian standard for coffins but an undertaker can refuse to use a "home" made coffin if they deem that it is was "inappropriate", "unsuitable" or "inadequate". Obviously there may be some variation in decisions made locally.
    If any one is interested, I supply them the dimensions to make their own coffin, as well as a few hints and details. I have often considered building my own, but where does one store it without vermin etc. having a little nibble?
    Jim
    Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important...

  5. #79
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    back in Alberta for a while
    Age
    68
    Posts
    12,006

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Master Splinter View Post
    As a public service, here are the relevant State and Territory regulations for coffins in Australia. I know you were all dying to know this!!!!

    snip
    I wonder if the glues in ply, chipboard, MDF and the like comply with this bit (from Victoria)
    that will not give rise to noxious emissions when burnt

    or this bit from SA

    ... a material derived from timber that will not release organochlorines during incineration in a crematorium
    regards from Alberta, Canada

    ian

  6. #80
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Emerald, QLD
    Posts
    4,488

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by powderpost View Post
    ................ but where does one store it without vermin etc. having a little nibble?
    Jim
    Use it as a coffee table of course - what a conversation starter
    .
    Updated 8th of February 2024

  7. #81
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    legana tasmania
    Age
    65
    Posts
    25

    Default

    A few years ago I applied for a job as a coffin maker at a large funeral business,they gave me a tour of the workshop,and told me that they dont actually make the coffins,but that they come from China in flatpack form, and they assemble and finish them.

    Cheers..... David.

  8. #82
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    New Zealand
    Posts
    287

    Default

    I did my cabinet/furniture making apprenticeship at a casket manufacturers, and yes, it made me cringe. Solid heart Rimu, Mahogany, American oak, walnut...... what a waste. But the majority where made from timber foiled MDF, which where still expensive for what they where to be honest.
    But we also made something called a liner which was a raw MDF insert which was inserted into a flash solid timber casket of the buyers choice and was used for the service and then removed and burnt, the timber casket was then used again for another service. I thought that was a much better Idea.

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