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7th February 2018, 01:03 PM #91
I don't object at all, in fact I think adding the 'The' makes it sound even more respectful. Kind of like 'The Boss', what's wrong with that? let's face it most women are in some ways the boss, I respect that, men and women contribute different things in any relationship but in my opinion women are the better planners and getting stuff organised or deciding things with the whole family in mind when making decisions, the list goes on, the man also has areas he's good at or 'The Boss' so I think it also depends on the situation and when and how you are referring to them, context.
I don't think referring to them as being in charge is disrespectful at all.
I wouldn't introduce my wife at a dinner party and refer to her as the missus (not that I ever go to dinner parties)
But if I was down the local pub and said I better get going, the missus is waiting to borrow the car to go do some shopping, then I don't see a problem with that either and I'd like to think most Australians wouldn't.
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7th February 2018 01:03 PM # ADSGoogle Adsense Advertisement
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7th February 2018, 01:15 PM #92GOLD MEMBER
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7th February 2018, 01:19 PM #93
Nah Elan, you know what I mean. If you asked me "How's the wife" it is completely different and you know it. And if you did ask me that, my response would be likely (with a strong emphasis on "my") "My wife is well".
If I have to spell it out it is the plural that justifies the use of "the" in the example you cited (although "the" could still be substituted by our, your, my, his, her, their). How many times have you heard "how is the girl" rather than "how is your daughter"? Somewhere between never and not too many, I'll wager. Just the same as I would not expect anyone to say "how is the son" because son is more personalised than boy.
Referring to your partner as "the anything" is only one step away from referring to them as "it", in my view. Thankfully I haven't heard that reference in quite some time, as attitudes evolve.
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7th February 2018, 01:33 PM #94Taking a break
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Using plural probably wasn't the best idea to illustrate it. "How's the little boy/girl" for young kids I don't think is that uncommon, I would even say "how's the boy/lad" is common enough.
Either way, I still don't think anyone actually uses "The XXXXX" as an intentionally derogatory term, it's a colloquialism that has become part of normal language.
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7th February 2018, 01:35 PM #95
Oh man, just when I thought there was some light falling....The Boss is a title, your wife is a person. Get it?
So assuming that you still have your "pair", what do you think would happen to them if you did introduce your wife, at a dinner party, as "the wife"? Even if you slipped her personal label in there like "This is the wife, Anna". Go on, I triple dare ya to!
My point being that if it is not good enough to do in front of her, then it is not acceptable in any situation. Would you expect to get a razz from the pub boys for substituting "my wife" for "the missus"? They wouldn't even notice.
Don't be afraid to show respect (especially for women) in front of those who may not. It's actually a VERY manly thing to do.
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7th February 2018, 01:43 PM #96
Ah well this I think strikes at the very core of the problem. Goebbels used to say that if you repeat the lie often enough it becomes truth. That is to say that I agree that it is not intentionally derogatory but it has become normalised and that is a bad thing.
Crikey, I know a guy that introduced his fourth wife to us as his "current wife". Humorous it may be to us, but how did it really make her feel (even though she smiled at this same old tired old joke).
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7th February 2018, 02:00 PM #97
And I get into trouble for digressions .
However, since council for the prosecution has introduced the subject I do have a friend who maintains he introduces his other half by saying "Have you met my first wife?" Which he maintains is to keep her on her toes, but I have not heard this first hand.
Talking of halves, it has been explained to me, primarily by women, that my wife may lean more towards five eighths which leaves me at three......Ummm... Moving on to the SWMBO moniker, SWMBO absolutely hates that term, but I have always seen it as an accolade to the veteran Aussie actor Leo McKern who portrayed the demon lawyer "Rumpole." Rumpole was a man who made seasoned QCs quake in their boots in the courtroom, but at home his wife was king, emperor and dictator all rolled into one. Interestingly we never met her. Perhaps she was too much for audiences of the day.
Ok, lunch break is over, my foray into the digression is over and a stack of rough timber awaits my undivided attention. And one more thing, if you are interested in my back saws in the Marketplace, you're too late. Theys gorne.
Regards
Paul
edit:
PS. I have just seen FF's reference to a fourth wife which significantly detracts from my "first wife" story. I must learn to type faster. However, in a feeble attempt to regain some standing, I did once meet a guy who had been married seven times. That was impressive, but I was floored when he told me three of them was to the same woman!!! He added that she was on at him to get married for a fourth time to her. I suppose this just gives weight to the old maxim that some people never learn.Bushmiller;
"Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely!"
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7th February 2018, 02:35 PM #98
Ummm..... to potentially answer the OPs question, maybe they don't make the calendars anymore because the cost to produce outweighed the benefit as a form of advertising??? Or that with the technology available today, the need for calendars has waned significantly? I remember Mum used to get one from the butcher, the fruit shop and the bakery.... all the photos were usually generic cityscape photos of Sydney (no scantily clad men or women) but she doesn't get them anymore... most people use their phone... if you don't like using your phone, thats totally fine, but you market to the majority of your customer base to keep advertising costs down... ergo, no more physical calendars, and more annoying internet pop up ads...
I don't want to go down the rabbit hole with the whole feminism, Modern Feminism, how i introduce my wife/the wife/the missus... then answer might really just be a simple one whether it supports or opposes your view on the world...Coming Up With Complex Solutions to Non-Existent Problems Since 1985
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7th February 2018, 03:04 PM #99
This is the reason I would never take my wife to a dinner party today. I wouldn't know how to act in this modern world of stuck up snobs and would be afraid to get pulled aside and served a lecture about the correct way a friggin woodworker should act in Australia today.
Yet another reason why I love being my own boss, and if I ever do have a dinner party I'll scroll back through here before deciding to invite from this forum I wouldn't want people to see my calendar and spend the whole night discussing the correct way woodworkers should evolve in to real men. I'd rather they had some fun at my dinner party instead of arguing. These days it's getting harder and harder to do.
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7th February 2018, 03:35 PM #100The Boss is a title, your wife is a person. Get it?
It's not just in woodworking it's everywhere. Have a look at some of the Off-Grid facebook pages with people breaking out in arguments for example about whether or not your way of living is truly 'off-grid' in their eyes. It's like you have to earn the right to use the word or something, and you have to earn that right from THEM and THEM only because all other opinions are wrong and it's now my job to educate you about the correct way of thinking..
I think I might stop calling myself a woodworker.
I wouldn't want to embarrass you all and create a stereotype that we are all living in the dark ages and refuse to change. And we all disrespect our women because we don't understand how to use the word 'The' or we make a funny joke that really should no longer be made according to them.
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7th February 2018, 03:56 PM #101GOLD MEMBER
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7th February 2018, 05:10 PM #102
I think Dibbers makes a good point with the cost of producing a calendar. They are very expensive unless you go with the generic pictures. In our backwoods QLD town we get calendars from the local businesses. I eagerly examine them for glamorous models, but normally it is merely a single picture of a pastoral scene or a well muscled cow for the whole year with advertisers surrounding the main picture. There probably are many more beneficial ways of spending your advertising dollar today than a calendar.
I was wondering if calendars are a little like ladies' (and probably men's) fashions in that they arrive, go out of fashion (within twelve months in the case of female fashions) and then return as originally featured but slightly differently packaged.
Here is a Simonds (Simonds Manufacturing) calendar from 1887. Well I get all excited because it is a Simonds artifact, but to the uninitiated I can quite see it is as boring as bat sh*t.
Simonds calandar 1887.jpg
Then in 1948 Simonds, that had now become Simonds saw and Steel, also decided that the old factual style of calendar was more suited to the drying time of the paint manufacturers and produced this calendar.
Simonds 1948 calendar.jpg
Well to my primitive and primeval mind that was a definite improvement. Like the Makita catalogue in question it had very little to do with saws or steel but presumeably did appeal to their customers. From there it was just a natural and exponential rise to the anatomical calendars ubiquitous from the sixties onwards. It was educational. There were parts of the body of which I was completely unaware (then at any rate).
Sorry (actually luckily) I don't have any of those calendars. What was the old slogan? Sex sells.
Incidentally, we get the word calendar from the latin word Kalends. In Roman times the month was split into three sections: The Ides (we all know of the Ides of March which was so unfortunate a time for Julie baby), The Nones and the Kalends. See, I did pay attention at school, or at least that day I did.
Regards
PaulBushmiller;
"Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts, absolutely!"
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7th February 2018, 05:52 PM #103Taking a break
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Repeating a lie until it becomes accepted as truth and the evolution of language are very separate things.
I'm quite sure that if any one of us went back a century or two and started speaking the way we do now we'd be branded as rude, uneducated and uncouth. The phrases "long time, no see" and "no can do" originated as mimicking foreigners who spoke poor English. The word "bugger" would have landed you in all sorts or trouble a hundred years ago (and in some places it still might), but it's now used to mean all sorts of totally non-offensive things like "that poor bugger" or "bugger, I forgot to get milk". The c-word has now got a double meaning in some places; it's both an insult and friendly banter.
Language is constantly changing, now faster than ever before, words lose old meanings and gain new ones. As words become "normalised" or more accepted socially, their punch diminishes.
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7th February 2018, 08:25 PM #104
As entertaining as this thread has been. I'm still not sure if I should be ashamed of liking looking at girls or not. Perhaps I should start to concentrate on guys. Hello Sailor. I'll be waiting for the hairy armpit brigade to enlighten me.
And now I'm also concerned that my sometime appreciative pet name (interestingly ONLY used on this website) for my Partner is now considered bad taste because it starts with an Article instead of a Pronoun. Please, just don't start on how degrading using the term pet name is.Franklin
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7th February 2018, 08:42 PM #105
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