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19th July 2016, 08:36 PM #1well aged but not old
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Brisbane
- Posts
- 925
When you head does not work properly
A lot of men enjoy playing about with wood and the tools to shape them. And a lot of men suffer from depression and many die because of it. There will be many men who regularly read this forum who battle daily with depression. Between the ages of 15 and 44 the leading cause of death among men is suicide. Then it re-emerges as a leading cause of death when men reach their sixties.
Well I am a survivor. I am in my early sixties. For most of my life I have battled with depression. I almost did not survive to see 25. But I never told anybody and I never sought help. Men just do not do that sort of thing. We put up with it. Then 8 months ago I fell into a hole again. But this time I decided to take action. I realised I had lost all interest in everything. I was not enjoying going into my workshop. Making things became a chore and the quality of my work fell to bits. I wondered what was wrong with me that I could barely cut a neat dovetail joint anymore. All I wanted to do was sleep and then when I did sleep it was fitful at best. So a few months ago I decide to see a doctor. Anyway over the last few weeks the shed door has been opened and the sounds of making are annoying the neighbours again.
Today I made a dovetailed display box for a shop. Had a great time and the box looks really nice. I cannot wait to get into making a table for my daughter tomorrow.
Now I am only sharing this for one reason.
Either you know what it is like to wake up depressed, tired and miserable most days - or you know somebody close to you who does. There is a very high likelihood that they have never told you or talked to anybody about it. They just put up with it. But it does not have to be. You would not put up with a blunt plane. You would fix it. Well there are things that you can do, there are things doctors can do, for depression that will make a big difference. You just have to take the first step.My age is still less than my number of posts
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19th July 2016 08:36 PM # ADSGoogle Adsense Advertisement
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19th July 2016, 08:57 PM #2
Thanks for sharing this. We should look out for each other.
I am learning, slowley.
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19th July 2016, 09:05 PM #3
Long story short.
I would encourage anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety to seek help. Seeking help will help. Another thing that helps is to not be afraid to speak about how you are. Speaking about it helps.
Doing these things has a bit of a multiplier effect. It gets it out there so that you can find a solution that works for you, and helps YOU to identify when the issue starts to raise it's head into the future, and therefor, helps YOU to put the solutions that you know work for you in place.
Speak up, there is no shame.
The solution does not necessarily have to rely on drugs. Identification, recognition and simple exercise can be the solution.
It is a fallacy that men should "just tough it out". Men, like all people should speak out and seek help. Because seeking help will be helpful.
Cheers
Smile more
BevanThere ain't no devil, it's just god when he's drunk!!
Tom Waits
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19th July 2016, 10:01 PM #4
Thanks Chook
And thank you for sharing your story mate
Cheers Matt
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20th July 2016, 12:55 AM #5SENIOR MEMBER
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
- Location
- Elizabeth Bay / Oberon NSW
- Age
- 76
- Posts
- 934
Well said, Chook. We are ever so slowly moving towards a general acceptance that mental illness is exactly that, an illness. Like a crook knee.
The difficult thing is that the very organ which is unwell is the same one used to seek help. Too often people have to "hit the wall" before they do anything about it. I have seen people live their entire life feeling miserable and it's such a waste when they could have fixed it relatively easily.
mick
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21st July 2016, 10:37 PM #6Novice
- Join Date
- May 2016
- Location
- Gosford
- Posts
- 11
It might be worth giving a local Men's Shed a go. I go to my local Men's Shed once a week and am often in my own workshop on one or two other days. The Shed is great for companionship and also for improving skills etc. Tim
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22nd July 2016, 05:11 AM #7well aged but not old
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Brisbane
- Posts
- 925
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22nd July 2016, 08:05 AM #8
Well said Chook. Thankyou.
I'm a dancing fool! The beat goes on and I'm so wrong!!!!
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22nd July 2016, 09:35 AM #9
Very well said Chook. I and my wife have a daily battle with depression/anxiety. I have a good mate who is Bipolar. We look out for each other. This Forum has been a comfort to me with others telling about their battles too. We have a Men's Shed which opened only a couple of months ago. I really couldn't face going to it. I don't like crowds and just the thought of turning up....its not for me. Both the wife and I are a bit "Hermit-ish" We used to go to church but that got "too hard".
I think that there is more people in the community who have Depression than what the statistics tell us.Just do it!
Kind regards Rod
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22nd July 2016, 12:38 PM #10Skwair2rownd
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Dundowran Beach
- Age
- 76
- Posts
- 19,922
I'm in a bit of a hole right now due to Macular degeneration - See my post under health issues.
I went to the WW club this morning just to touch base and have a chat but came home still feeling down.
My oughtism tells me I ought to gets stuck into something. I will get over this brief setback, I know how
to do that. But the initial jolt needs to be dealt with and that is a bit hard right now.
I have plenty to get on with so that is a help in itself.
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22nd July 2016, 03:39 PM #11
Totally agree. I actually don't see a doctor much anymore but thats because they've been able to help me identify the traps I used to fall into and ways around them. It doesnt have to be about medication, the right doctor will try a number of different therapies before resorting to drugs. I found cognitive behavioural therapy specifically helpful for me as it allowed me to pick up on some negative thought patterns that I had just taken as a part of my natural thought process. They weren't, it was stuff I'd developed over the years to help myself deal with my problems.
I still fall into old habits from time to time but now I can see the shift in behaviour and mood before it becomes a huge problem.
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22nd July 2016, 03:43 PM #12
In my experience people with mental health issues tend to be drawn to each other, I have 2 other mates with bipolar and it wasn't until years after meeting that we realised we shared that in common.
Would be an interesting anthropological study to find out why that might be.
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24th July 2016, 10:20 PM #13well aged but not old
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Brisbane
- Posts
- 925
I hope you are getting the support you need. My sister is a GP and she sent me to a doctor who specialises in mental disorders. For the first time in my life I got proper support and the difference is quite remarkable. Now you have a problem. But the fact that you can even write that you are in a bit of a hole means you also have courage. I took me most of my life to final get the courage to admit I had a problem.
My age is still less than my number of posts
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24th July 2016, 10:49 PM #14well aged but not old
- Join Date
- Sep 2004
- Location
- Brisbane
- Posts
- 925
The last three weeks were some of the best I have had in 2 years and certainly the best I have had in the last 8 months. I have
paved a small courtyard
knocked down and rebuilt sections of walls in a house my son is renovating
fixed his leaking taps
replaced the bottom pulley on my table saw, which meant taking the saw half way apart and tuned it up to work better than new
built a beautifully dovetailed display box for a shop
designed and begun making a decorative pencil holder for my daughter's desk
cooked lots of special meals for my family and friends
played endlessly with my building manager who also doubles as my dog Harvey
read books
etc etc etc
I have filled each day with planning and making- the two things I enjoy doing most. Now for the past few years, the production of items, beautiful and ugly, useful and useless petered out to a trickle and then stopped completely. My hands had lost their skill. I had no energy or creativity. And this really annoyed me. I am young (61 is not at all old), strong and physically healthy. The frustration of seeing valuable days wasted in a morbid cloud of gloom only added to my miserable outlook.
But once I took the step, simple as it seems from the outside, but so hard to do from within, to say "I have a problem. I need help". Things began to change.
Men can be odd creatures. A few years ago my back went into such a spasm that I could not move. I could barely breathe. I was stuck in a chair, in agony from 9 pm Friday night until 3 am Saturday morning. At that point, I finally and somewhat guiltily rang the ambulance. They must have thought I was crazy. "I cannot move. I can barely breathe. I am in agony. Do you think I need an ambulance?" They sent one out immediately, filled me with morphine and I spent a week in hospital. Men do not like to ask for help.
Now it is possible, likely perhaps, that the sorts of men who subscribe to this forum, men who like to make things for their own use and the use of others, who like a challenge and who want to work out problems, it is likely that such men are going to be at even less likely to ask for help when it is truly needed.My age is still less than my number of posts
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