Thread: Metric Vs Imperial

Originally Posted by vsquizz

Well of course there is the third much more practical system ...comprising of the Tad, the smidgeon, the poofteenth and the finest measurement of all the Bee's D*ck.

Tads are taken by the power or table saw.
Smidgeons are normally adjusted with the chisel
Poofteenths are cut with a mere mortals hand plane
Bee's D*cks are only taken by the master craftsman and involve cutting implements from...The Dark Side..

Cheers

UPDATE: The Dark Side has lost some ground as we can now machine boards to the thickness of a Bee's D*ck

Originally Posted by echnidna

UPDATE: The Dark Side has lost some ground as we can now machine boards to the thickness of a Bee's D*ck

Cheers

Maybe Ecnidna, but the measurements the machines use are in relationship to the imperial greater dikced bumble bee, and not the metric version, the lesser dikced fairy bee, which the dark side users prefer.

Another successful de-railment

...and of course you've left out of your equation the ubiquitous ummm...pubic hair.

I s'pose they are a form of imperial measure unless you only have ten of 'em?

P

Originally Posted by bitingmidge

...and of course you've left out of your equation the ubiquitous ummm...pubic hair.P

Midge, the aforementioned system (known as the Aussie thumb system) is not to be bastardised. The pubic hair (generally a female one) is from another more colourful system invented by machinists. It should not be confused with the Aussie system which is better suited for woodworkers. For the record one Bee's D*ck is equal to 1.35 pubic hairs and as such is too small for woodworkers (or their eyeballs) Pubic hairs are measured on the micrometer.

Now

I have three tape measures. The Stanley FatMax (33-732) all metric 8 m with 5mm increments in larger line and 100 mm increments shown in red. Its OK but too concave for joinery. The Supercraft "Rapid Read is similar except every millimetres is numbered with the fifth in red. Its quite good. The last is my favourite. An older chrome bodied Komelon 10 m tape (KMC-74) in metric and imperial. I like it because well.. the other day I jumped on the old Fork Massey at a job and was carrying a bit over 2 tonne of stone. The tape came off my belt clip and went straight under a fully loaded tyre. It still works fine except the clip is now tighter . Now thats a tool...but its not as easy to read as the Supercraft for fine stuff.

I find having the dual currency tape measure handy on the job because clients often describe their plans in imperial.

Cheers

Look, I think that a Bee's Dick is a fine measurement (and, in fact, there are plans afoot - Imperial foot, that is - to create this as an international measure alongside Greenwich Mean Time. This may mean some adjustment where ever you are in the world. I digress ...). But the point is that if I have to handle too many BDs (is that the correct abbreviation?) in a line I will go blind! There must be an easier way.

Regards from Perth

Derek

FWIW, here's a few pickies;

The first is the three tapes, the second is the Supercraft showing the fine numbering and the third is the Supercraft compared to the Komelon;

Cheers

Oh and Derek, there is an easier way, its in metalworking where a sledge hammer, oxy torch and welder can fix anything!

Gotta add a bit on metric and imperial conversion from the U-Beaut Polishes side of things as we have to put both metric and imperial measurements on our US labels.

250 ml = 8.799 fl oz easy done, get 3,000 labels printed and send off order.

6 weeks later we get an order for 300 ml containers and a request to put 10.14 fl oz on label as well as the 300 ml. This didn't look right to me so I got out the good old conversion book and found that 300 ml converted to 10.56 fl oz. Emailed that they may have made a mistake and was told it was I who had made the mistake.

Jumped on line and found a conversion chart and there before my very eyes was the evidence that I was wrong and the yanks were right. 1 fl oz actually equals 0.9608 fl oz in the US.

Our 250ml bottles are now labelled 8.454 fl oz instead of 8.799 fl oz and for a few months we had to explain to irate yanks that we hadn't cut the amount of polish we put into a bottle, just changed the label.

Cheers - Neil

PS If the US ever converted (which will never happen in my lifetime) they would probably do it their own way. eg: 1 metre = 9608 mm

PPS My children all grew up with metric yet ask any of them or their friends how tall they are and the answer will almost invariably come back as imperial, especially if they are over 6' tall. (eg Michael Jordan's 6' 6", I'm 6" 4" so I'm only 50mm shorter than him)

Originally Posted by derekcohen

... if I have to handle too many BDs (is that the correct abbreviation?) in a line I will go blind! Derek

... And there was I thinking that if the bees themselves handled too many BDs - whether in line or not - it would be the bees that would go blind!

But I digress too. What I intended to mention is that the pommy equivalent of the Aussie Bee's D*ick is the widely acclaimed Midge's Nudger (this has nothing to do with biting midges, BM). The Midge's Nudger is generally called for in an engineering sense when that well-known phrase is deployed. You know the one:

"This job looks a bit tricky. We're gonna need a bigger 'ammer."

Done this before somewhere in these forums, never mind, here it is again.

UNDERSTANDING FINE & COARSE MEASUREMENTS
As used by woodworkers is sheds, garages and workshops throughout Australia.
Compiled by Neil Ellis for National Woodworkers Calendar 1997

Hairsbreath: Smallest measurement. If you can find it, you can use it - approx 1 millionths of a micro millimetre.
Foofteenth: much bigger - 25 micro mm
Gnatshair: 15 Foofteenths
Gnatsdick: not an exact measurement. Usually between 10 - 20 Gnatshairs (dependant upon how well hung the Gnat is)
Beesdick: the most commonly used fine measurements (usually bigger than a Gnatsdick, but not always) 1/100th mm or there about.
Fairy’s fart: all encompassing measurement - covers all sizes below .25mm.
A metrik: one millimetre (mm)
A Smidgen: also called a Smidg - 7.35mm but 7mm is near enough.
A Tad: 1.3 centimetres
A Touch: two Tads
A Bit: three Smidgens
A Little Bit: 1.5 Smidgens or there about
A Little Bit More: 3.5 to 4 Smidgens
Heaps: also called Lots - 10 Tads, 1 Smidg & a Metrik
Stacks: also called Lots more - 5 Heaps
Bags: also known as Bagful - 350 Tads
Bulls Roar: 734 metres - almost exactly 1,000 smidgen or there about
Klick: 1 Kilometre
Country Mile: 3.218 Klicks
Thick as a Brick: a brickies measurement that should never used in woodwork
Thick as 2 planks: 984cm from beam to beam.
Beam: hunk of wood too long and too cumbersome for one person to handle alone.

There's a S**t Load more (see there's another one) but the above are the basic ones or at least those that are printable without giving offence.


Cheers - Neil

Hi Neil

You weren't exactly wrong with your figures, it is just that the Yanks have their own idea of what equals a gallon and it is not the same as a British imperial gallon.

Just wait till you start dealing in US Barrels if you really want to get confused.


Cheers

No if you really want to get confused, just read stuff on what accuracy is

A count cannot contain an error. Any difference between two discrete counts of the same thing is caused by a mistake. Only measurements can have errors in them. It is primarily these errors that are responsible for discrepancies between measurements of the same thing, and the root cause of the inexactness we have been discussing. Measurements are susceptible to both errors and mistakes. Counts are susceptible only to mistakes.

All this and other really good stuff can be found in the writings of Dr. Ben Buckner, LS, PE

It'll give you something to do during the tea break this afternoon!

Cheers,

P