The Best Reasons for Buying Tools

**derekcohen** · 2nd August 2005, 05:56 PM

Second only to the daily focussed preoccupation (minute-by-minute obsession?) of my fellow woodworkers as to "Tools We Would Like To Buy" is the concerned preoccupation with "How Shall I Explain This To S(or H)WMBO?".

Today I read the absolute BEST explanation (others may use the term "Excuse", but realise that such a term immediately puts you in a defensive pattern) for buying more tools, and I knew that it was my Duty to pass this on to you all.

This is a direct quote from the Oldtools Forum, a Neander forum, written by Wm. Sanderson-Cassidy, a venerable old gent with many years of worldly experience, who has a penchant for verbosity. Glorious!

"In answer to the surprisingly large number of people who wrote asking, "do you also collect tools?" that is a deeply personal question. If I answer in the affirmative, I will be misunderstood. If I answer in the negative, I will be misunderstood. Let me say that I acquire useful things that are not used all of the time; nevertheless, this does not mean they are unused merely because I set them aside some of the time. To the contrary, they are useful things. Hope you boys at law.cornell.edu learned a thing or two from that answer, to a question that should have raised an objection on grounds of facts not in evidence. So, the light dawns, and you say, "Let me rephrase. Do you collect anything?" Now you got me. The answer is yes. The follow up is "What do you collect?" The answer is, "Several things, which by their nature become a collection." You feel strong, and you ask, "What are these things?" I reply, "A collection." You become flustered, and you say, "Name them!" I am calm, and I reply, "Which ones?" You then say, "Name one thing in your collection!" I say, "Myself." You say, "Oh, so there is more than one of you?" I reply, "Well, I have my eyes, ears, nose....isn't that a collection?" Judge shuts the whole mess down at that point, as should we. Just want to tell you in closing that the proper form of the question is, "Is there a particular object or type of object you desire to have more of?" Won't get you anywhere, because the nature of objects, is in itself a collection, and I do not want more collections to add to my collection of collections. Hope I have answered your question.

.. If your wives don't buy the above approach, I now plead the penalty phase. If a man acquires tools, there are by any definition many different tools to be acquired. He may have a thousand chisels, a thousand hammers, and a thousand planes, but this does not mean he "collects" tools per se, because any one of them may have a distinct purpose and he may anticipate such purpose and make provision therefore. He is then merely a prudent man, and not necessarily a collector. He may envision a time when a hammer breaks and he requires another. He may foresee a moment when a particular chisel is required, or one grows dull and he does not have sharpening equipment near to hand. And as to screwdrivers? In this day and age, walk through any household, and you will be able to count how many different types of screws? Does this mean that a man should be called upon to neglect his household and limit himself as to the number of screwdrivers he is entitled to possess? And as he conducts his daily life, is his activity strictly limited to either acquiring or using tools? That is the sticking issue surrounding the sly dart of the brand "tool collector." We are ALL tool collectors because there is nothing which cannot be a tool. A rock can be a tool. Your mind can be a tool. Tool collecting can be a tool."

Of course I expect that others here will do their bit and list Their favourite excuses .... reasons.

Regards from Perth

Derek

**Auld Bassoon** · 2nd August 2005, 08:06 PM

G'day Derek,

I love it! Why say something in twenty words, when a thousand or so will do

Cheers!

**johnc** · 2nd August 2005, 09:42 PM

Derek,

I did enjoy reading your thread, I guess I am an accidental collector of tools, sometimes something attracts that may not have a current purpose but might be picked up just in case. In the end anybody can be a tool, as well as anything, but can you be a tool for collecting tools? perhaps that one is for all the SWMBO out there.

JohnC

**Driver** · 2nd August 2005, 10:19 PM

Derek, mate!

You're surely not seriously suggesting that I should try this as a response when questioned by the Chancellor of the Exchequer (Household Division) about why I bought those two spokeshaves on the weekend!

I reckon I'd probably get about one third of the way down the first paragraph before I was felled viciously to the ground. (Yes, I know she's small and slight but she comes from a big family and she packs a punch like Smokin' Joe Frazier).

What's that other Zen question: If a man is in a forest and he speaks and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

Col

NB: The spokeshaves. Picked 'em up from Wanneroo Markets. Need a bit of TLC but they look promising. I'll post some piccys when I've worked on them.

**Harry72** · 2nd August 2005, 10:28 PM

There's only one reason... coz I bloody need it thats why!

**Caliban** · 2nd August 2005, 11:20 PM

[QUOTE=Driver]Derek, mate!

What's that other Zen question: If a man is in a forest and he speaks and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

Col

QUOTE]
Funny how if you say the above to a woman there is absolutely no pause before they answer "Of course he's still wrong" as if it wasn't an issue, yet if you say it to a bloke (MatthewA, that means a male of the species) he'll always think about it for a while then smile.

**boban** · 2nd August 2005, 11:48 PM

Better to just deal with the penalty phase I say.

Why. You have the tool, can use it and just have to wait a while before you go through the same cycle again. Its all a matter of timing if you know what I mean. You should buy a tool once a month....

**mic-d** · 3rd August 2005, 07:00 AM

That's fantastic Derek, now I have some ammunition when SWMBO makes me the butt of the joke with her girlfeinds(sic), you know along the lines "he has 6 different types of power saws" or "how do the fish know which one of the 7 different rods you are using?"

Cheers
Michael

**IanW** · 3rd August 2005, 09:04 AM

Yeah - while ol' Wm. Sanderson-Cassidy might bring a big smile to most of the people reading this thread (male and female), I think it should have come with the disclaimer "don't try this at home!"

I had an enlightening arg... discussion with my S.O. recently, on the difference between a pearl necklace and a Norris A5. Seems their isn't any, apart from price (the Norris was the minor expense, by a very wide margin!). It would also seem that the whole debate hinges around your interpretation of the word 'useful'. We had no trouble agreeing on terms like 'beautiful', 'desirable' 'investment for the future', etc. But I'm still a bit upset about a Norris being classified as "boy jewellry" :eek:

At least we agree on which items we are heading for, to save in the event of fire.....

**RufflyRustic** · 3rd August 2005, 09:43 AM

Darn it!! HWMNBO has already used this (not exact words, but soooo similar) on me, and

it worked.....

Wonder if I can turn the tables

cheers
RufflyRustic

**scooter** · 7th August 2005, 04:50 PM

Ian, did your SO get her pearl necklace?

Cheers.................Sean the innocent

**scooter** · 7th August 2005, 04:58 PM

BTW, I think boban is on the money, the frequently quoted "easier to get forgiveness than permission"

The very considerate "ignorance is bliss" concept of putting a new tool in the shed without foolishly advertising it's recent purchase to anyone with a pecuniary interest in same has it's merits also.

I believe Jim (hovo) is a disciple of this technique

.

Cheers.............Sean the braveheart

**Gingermick** · 7th August 2005, 05:51 PM

Originally Posted by mic-d

"how do the fish know which one of the 7 different rods you are using?"

A more pertinent question would be, what if all seven rods go off at once?

And a better way to set it up would be to buy them as presents for her father on father's day or b'day or christmas etc. And he buys them for you in return.
"Don't you love your dad?" will usually work fantastically, you just have to wait a bit.

**Kris.Parker1** · 7th August 2005, 07:08 PM

I not one for taking out my power saw from the two benches I got so I just buy new ones, I had five at last count. The missus asks why I have so many, I just tell her that each one has a different blade that does a different job.

Ha ha

Worked for six years so far so good....

**Dr Dee** · 7th August 2005, 09:07 PM

I am currently working in Singapore and got SWHMBO to come up with me this time. I work she shops!! This is one of the world's shopper's heavens (except for tools).

Over dinner one night, on being shown an absolute gem of a jewellery purchase, I took a gamble and started down a self education pathway. Why is it necessary to have multiple XXXX (insert necklace, ring, broach, bracelet ...)? Is it that they have different application or relevance depending on the situation? I see, so the fact that there is only a subtle difference between this one and that one is no argument for only having one. Ahhhh now I see.

This conversation has been digitally recorded and will be transcribed and presented at some appropriate time in the future. I will be wearing body armour.

Why do we have to do it? Her trinkets cost multiples times my ergonomic, functional implements! oh well.

By the way the cricket is impossible to get here - endless soccer, golf, tennis and american sports - NO CRICKET to be found on any of the ~40 channels.

cheers

Thread: The Best Reasons for Buying Tools

Thread Tools

Search Thread

The Best Reasons for Buying Tools

Similar Threads

Cheap tools, the plus side

Storage of hand tools (warning - lots of tool !)

what wood carving tools to buy

Quality of tools

Newbie; Are crown tools any good?

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions