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Thread: What did I do to deserve this.
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18th October 2018, 12:00 PM #1SENIOR MEMBER
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What did I do to deserve this.
Until the age of 50 I was a fitness freak, indulging in cycling running, moto x, body building, canoeing, surfing, caving, and heaps of other stuff in between I managed to squeeze some time into my workshop, building ride ons, go carts, show bikes, machinery and so on. My wife tells me now she thought I was hyperactive, just watching me was wearing her out.
First crack appeared at 49 when I was diagnosed with herniated lumbar disks, spondylolisthesis and spondylollysis, not long after cervical spondylosis, then OA of hips then diabetes, then problems with shoulders, feet, elbows and so it spread until at age 49 they put me on the rubbish heap.
Life after that was great, not being so active my body responded and symptoms from my many arthritises lessened, I lear't to control the diabetes and found many things I'd given up as lost I could now do again, albeit at a much slower pace: cycling, sailing, etc, but no weight orientated things such as weight lifting.
All was well until I hit 65 I was diagnosed with PsA and it all started happening again, new hip, one less lung, return of the cancer, and to top it all off no meds work on the PsA, I live on pain killers, Oxycodone at the moment along with paracetamol, ibuprofen, three BP meds, thyroid meds, anti itch meds, not to mention three different nausea meds to treat the nausea caused by chemo and radio.
Last radio treatment today, then in a months time another scan to identify where the cancer is going pop up next.
Funny thing about pain, when you are in pain 24/7 you do get used to it, not enjoy , just get used to it as the new normal.
So now I have very limited use of my fingers and thumbs, my wrists absolutely kill me with just the tiniest movement, as do my forearms and elbows. My elbows are so far gone an arthroscopy is out of the question, leaving a replacement the only other option. That leaves me in a quandary: do I live on painkillers? or have the elbows replaced knowing I won't be able to do any repetitive movements, no jerky movements and lift nothing heavier than a bag of sugar. And then there's the upper arms, shoulders, neck, hip and feet. And of course the ever present cancer popping up every now and then.
I still work in my workshop, with the wife's help as there are many things I simply can't do anymore. The wife helped me out with these plates yesterday, being my hammer woman. she also tidies up, sweeps the floor and heaps of other things I can't do. I keep telling her I should give her something, I just can't remember what.
I quite often ask myself what on earth did I do to deserve this. Still at this point in time, it's better than the alternative. I had a totally different view of how my final years would be, nothing like this.
Vrant over!
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18th October 2018, 03:10 PM #2
I feel for you but one thing is for sure, it's just as well we don't start life with the foresight of whats in store for us.
The person who never made a mistake never made anything
Cheers
Ray
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