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Forum: WOODIES JOKES

Heard a good joke about woodworking lately? Seen a good comic strip? Maybe know a tall TALE or two that could even be true. Let's hear it from you.

  1. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun Mk XX

    Started by jmk89, 3rd March 2021 10:27 AM
    57 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 57
    2 Attachment(s)
    • Replies: 848
    • Views: 30,740
    russ57
    21st February 2024, 07:19 PM Go to last post

  2. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun MK.XIX

    Started by jmk89, 9th September 2019 11:53 AM
    100 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 100
    4 Attachment(s)
    • Replies: 1,495
    • Views: 63,367
    Bob38S
    3rd March 2021, 09:27 AM Go to last post

  3. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun MK.XVIII

    Started by jmk89, 25th September 2018 11:40 AM
    90 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 90
    • Replies: 1,338
    • Views: 107,896
    jmk89
    9th September 2019, 11:51 AM Go to last post

  4. Sticky Thread Sticky: Not a joke. Just a bit of fun MK.XVII

    Started by jmk89, 5th February 2018 11:56 AM
    102 Pages •
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ... 102
    3 Attachment(s)
    • Replies: 1,521
    • Views: 205,853
    AlexS
    25th September 2018, 09:10 AM Go to last post

  5. Sticky Thread Sticky: Keep it clean

    Started by Big Shed, 8th February 2012 02:12 PM
    ages, bar, clean, confused, cross, daughter, determine, forum, forums, front, inappropriate, increase, joke, jokes, local, people, post, posting, pub.no, read, section, simple
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 12,455
    ubeaut
    14th March 2017, 08:08 AM Go to last post

  1. Jungle Carpenter

    Started by Keith Jeeves, 2nd March 2003 05:43 PM
    ago, animal, carpenter, day, developed, eaten, eater, found, girraffe, handle, hollowing, jaguar, job, jungle, leopard, lion, logs, mate, missing, prongs, replied, set, sharp, spend, tiger, time, told, tool, wooden
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,451
    Keith Jeeves
    2nd March 2003, 05:43 PM Go to last post

  2. Post Doctor - patient relationship

    Started by Eastie, 25th February 2003 01:11 PM
    betrayal, bring, dave, day, doctor, don’t, forget, guilt, guilty, head, hear, hed, inside, invariably, matter, overwhelming, patient, patients, reality, reassure, relationship, sense, single, sleep, slept, soothing, vet, voice, worry, you’re
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 1,467
    soundman
    27th February 2003, 10:46 PM Go to last post

  3. Stella Awards

    Started by barnsey, 18th October 2002 05:18 PM
    awarded, awards, beagle, candidates, city, dickson, door, expenses, floor, found, freeway, garage, grazinski, home, house, jury, locked, motor, neighbours, oklahoma, owners, pennsylvania, stella, store, sued, time, toddler, walton, window, winnebago
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 3,002
    whitecatbone
    23rd February 2003, 03:55 PM Go to last post

  4. quick one..

    Started by oges, 19th February 2003 08:18 PM
    bar, guys, quick, walk
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,429
    oges
    21st February 2003, 04:15 PM Go to last post

  5. Post council of war

    Started by Kev Y., 27th December 2002 05:36 PM
    2002.], bagdad, blonde, bomb, boobs, break, c.powell, cares, christmas, comments, council, december, decision, directed, edited, errupted, george, george.w, hell, iraquis, message, no-one, pair, powell, robbo, senate, told, war, watching, [this
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 1,716
    whitecatbone
    21st February 2003, 01:20 PM Go to last post

  6. Post Good Samaritan

    Started by Gino, 18th February 2003 10:12 PM
    answer, answers, ashamed, awakened, bed, calls, chance, dark, door, dressed, drunk, good, guy, guys, helped, husband, morning, oclock, pounding, pouring, push, rain, replies, reply, samaritan, standing, stranger, swing, told, wife
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,265
    Gino
    18th February 2003, 10:12 PM Go to last post

  7. Post booze bus

    Started by Gino, 12th February 2003 10:44 PM
    aboriginal, asthmatic, bag, black, bloody, blow, booze, boss, bus, car, comedian, cop, copper, doc, doin, fellers, government, letter, mate, morton, nah, oath, pass, piss, red, sample, surely, testing, urine, whites
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,708
    Gino
    12th February 2003, 10:44 PM Go to last post

  8. Post venus + mars

    Started by Gino, 12th February 2003 10:37 PM
    $200, 2006, blurted, bracelet, cared, department, diamond, earrings, excited, feel, figured, hold, honey, jewelry, mars, set, sexual, shipwreck, short, spring, stuff, tennis, testing, told, tune, venus, wave, women, words, worth
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,291
    Gino
    12th February 2003, 10:37 PM Go to last post

  9. Post The value of Undies

    Started by Gino, 12th February 2003 10:33 PM
    car, chassis, dutifully, embarrassment, feet, forward, found, glaringly, head, hood, idly, lack, looked, lot, mechanic, private, protruding, public, regaining, shorts, stand, staring, stepped, stitches, tucked, unable, underpants, undies, wear, wife
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,151
    Gino
    12th February 2003, 10:33 PM Go to last post

  10. Post Irish toast

    Started by Gino, 12th February 2003 10:32 PM
    andsaid, asleep, aye, bit, chuckled, corner, ears, fell, hoisted, home, irish, john, leeringly, life, mary, meself, night, oreilly, prize, pull, rest, sitting, spending, surprised, time, toast, told, top, wife, won
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,270
    Gino
    12th February 2003, 10:32 PM Go to last post

  11. Post Aussie Love Story

    Started by Rod Waddington, 10th February 2003 04:24 PM
    aussie, bridge, daryl, day, dinkum, doin, drives, driving, eye, fair, gday, girlfriend, gonna, harbor, hears, kill, love, lump, meself, pregnant, real, root, shazza, sport, story, sydney, tear, throat, throw, top
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,201
    Rod Waddington
    10th February 2003, 04:24 PM Go to last post

  12. Wink Police Warning

    Started by craigb, 7th February 2003 02:49 PM
    bad, beer, drug, entrap, extreme, feeling, female, form, guys, home, male, nearest, occurred, offered, persuade, police, predatory, relationship, reported, scam, sex, sexual, shrewd, support, times, unsuspecting, vague, warning, woman, women
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,574
    JackoH
    8th February 2003, 01:16 PM Go to last post

  13. Smile ATM MACHINES

    Started by DPB, 6th February 2003 03:43 PM
    amount, atm, bag, brake, car, card, cash, drive, empty, enter, hand, handbag, holder, insert, inside, locate, machine, machines, male, parking, pin, procedure, provided, re-empty, receipt, required, retrieve, reverse, slot, window
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,674
    John Saxton
    6th February 2003, 08:27 PM Go to last post

  14. The source of useless information

    Started by Eastie, 5th February 2003 11:17 AM
    afraid, apparently, information, source, timber, useless, xylophobic
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 1,330
    arose
    6th February 2003, 02:24 PM Go to last post

  15. Post three surgeons.

    Started by Gino, 2nd February 2003 10:45 PM
    100, ago, alcohol, arguing, ass, attended, cocaine, cowboy, england, fingers, freight, gallon, hat, head-on, horse, horses, hour, miles, pianist, president, queen, reattached, recital, rode, santa, surgeons, ten, train, traveling, united
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,914
    fxst
    3rd February 2003, 06:29 PM Go to last post

  16. Post The Witness

    Started by Gino, 3rd February 2003 06:12 PM
    agreed, blanket, bought, budget, business, cab, cabby, cabin, catches, club, cold, corvette, country, cover, cruiser, day, driver, dues, generous, home, husband, looked, monthly, paid, pays, quietly, returning, trip, wife, witness
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,081
    Gino
    3rd February 2003, 06:12 PM Go to last post

  17. Post If QANTAS sold paint ...

    Started by DaveInOz, 29th January 2003 09:22 AM
    $12, $200, bathroom, bedroom, buy, cans, change, clerk, customer, day, difference, direction, empty, half-litre, hall, kitchen, litre, litres, night, paint, painting, price, qantas, regular, remaining, sell, sir, sold, start, tomorrow
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 5,831
    Gino
    31st January 2003, 05:19 PM Go to last post

  18. Post Homosexual agenda

    Started by Gino, 30th January 2003 07:36 PM
    a.m, agenda, aroma, bed, bistro, bulldoze, children, cocktails, control, copy, dinner, governments, homosexual, homosexuals, houses, internet, jour, lifestyle, light, militant, neighborhood, p.m, recruit, replace, school, seek, seize, teachers, therapy, worship
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,237
    John Saxton
    30th January 2003, 09:04 PM Go to last post

  19. No wood content - but I like it

    Started by DaveInOz, 29th January 2003 09:29 AM
    2003.], bet, bird, boobs, content, dirty, edited, englishman, french, frenchman, frog, girl, hand, january, lady, message, mistake, pretty, robbo, slap, slapped, smack, sod, touch, touched, train, tunnel, wait, wood, [this
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 1,646
    Red neck
    30th January 2003, 10:54 AM Go to last post

  20. Comeback line

    Started by John Saxton, 29th January 2003 09:32 PM
    activity, admit, children, comeback, dangerous, discipline, equipped, female, interview, interviewed, interviewer, johnno, killers, line, proper, properly, radio, range, reinwaldi, rifle, silent, supervised, teach, teaching, terribly, violent
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,089
    John Saxton
    29th January 2003, 09:32 PM Go to last post

  21. Post political correctness

    Started by Gino, 29th January 2003 11:50 AM
    afraid, alternative, bad, balding, caucasian, commitment, correct, correctness, cradle, dancer, destinations, develops, drunk, easy, facility, follicle, generationally, grain, investigates, liquid, lost, overly, political, politically, prefers, regression, snatcher, speak, storage, time
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,224
    Gino
    29th January 2003, 11:50 AM Go to last post

  22. Post learning a trade

    Started by DaveInOz, 29th January 2003 09:18 AM
    account, admiration, bank, bring, building, construction, crew, day, dollar, door, equally, girl, goodness, gracious, home, house, impressed, learning, lot, mother, pay, received, replied, savings, start, suggested, teller, trade, week, words
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,322
    DaveInOz
    29th January 2003, 09:18 AM Go to last post

  23. How Long?

    Started by Sir Stinkalot, 25th January 2003 12:19 PM
    alright, build, check, clerk, customer, drove, four-by-twos, gonna, house, long, lumberyard, meant, minute, office, paused, pickup, returned, time, truck, two-by-fours, walked, yeah
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,554
    ubeaut
    25th January 2003, 09:14 PM Go to last post

  24. Post simple maths

    Started by Eastie, 24th January 2003 11:29 AM
    arrived, boy, breakwater, brilliant, dear, easily, faxed, happy, home, hope, hotel, hurt, husband, letter, lot, mathematician, mathematics, maths, midnight, pool, professor, read, receive, simple, sincerely, time, times, wait, waiting, wife
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,433
    Eastie
    24th January 2003, 11:29 AM Go to last post

  25. Post I tried to liven this one up

    Started by Eastie, 20th January 2003 03:27 PM
    2003.], anger, bed, boy, deflated, down;, eastie, edited, evening, gravely, head, headmaster, hospital, inflatable, intones-, january, knife, liven, message, panicking, police, pulls, runs, school, shaking, stabs, wakes, walking, worst, [this
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,362
    soundman
    20th January 2003, 09:21 PM Go to last post

  26. Post Dilbert's Words of Wisdom

    Started by DarrylF, 14th January 2003 09:00 PM
    attitude, beat, bed, bounced, carrier, ceiling, check, crunchy, cuz, day, dilbert, dilberts, elses, hell, ketchup, keyboard, lay, level, life, love, night, perception, reality, sky, somedays, stars, taste, wierdo, wisdom, words
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,458
    DarrylF
    14th January 2003, 09:00 PM Go to last post

  27. Post Hu's on First

    Started by DarrylF, 12th January 2003 08:43 AM
    bush, call, china, chinese, couple, east, egg, food, glass, guy, happening, idea, kofi, leader, leading, mention, middle, milk, national, phone, picks, rice, rolls, secretary, send, sir, stay, telling, u.n, yassir
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,744
    coastie
    12th January 2003, 08:55 AM Go to last post

  28. Thumbs up A good philosophy

    Started by Eastie, 8th January 2003 04:31 PM
    2003.], agreed, beer, beers, children, continued, couple, edited, empty, energy, filled, glad, good, gravel, jar, life, matter, message, partner, philosophy, picked, proceeded, produced, professor, rocks, sand, spend, students, stuff, time
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,560
    Dennis Hill
    12th January 2003, 06:30 AM Go to last post

  29. Post Forward on...

    Started by Iain, 24th December 2002 08:29 AM
    aimed, arrived, board, boss, bunnies, forward, free, friend, girlfriend, guise, inlaw, mine, mongrel, mother, offer, salesman, scotch, send, whisky
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,603
    Gino
    11th January 2003, 11:01 PM Go to last post

  30. Post A true woodies joke

    Started by Iain, 3rd January 2003 09:33 AM
    agency, alpine, angry, committee, demanded, dnre, doctor, environmental, examining, hours, hurried, joke, lady, land, old-growth, patience, permits, planning, protection, reappeared, recreational, remove, sat, smiled, timber, told, tree, true, waited, woodies
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 1,146
    Iain
    3rd January 2003, 09:33 AM Go to last post

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