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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Canberra
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    45
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    452

    Default An Accident Report

    An Accident Report

    I am writing in response to your request for “additional information.” In block number 30 of the accident report form, I put “poor planning” as the cause for my accident. You said in your last letter that I should explain more fully. I trust that the following detail will be sufficient.

    I am an amateur radio operator. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot antenna tower. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought about 300 lbs. of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the pole at the tip of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and materials into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 300 lbs. of tools.

    You will note in block number 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 155 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken clavicle.

    Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly on the rope in spite of the pain. At about the same time however, the barrel hit the ground. The bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed 20 pounds.

    I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might guess, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations or my legs and lower body.

    The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of tools, and fortunately only three vertebras were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind.

    I let go of the rope…
    I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,652

    Default

    Jdub, you might be interested to learn that the Myth Busters TV show did an experiment to ascertain whether this widely circulated urban myth has any basis in fact. According to their experiments, it does not.

    MYTH BUSTED!
    You will have to send them a copy of this - because I'm sure you wouldn't lie to us.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    South Oz, the big smokey bit in the middle
    Age
    67
    Posts
    4,377

    Default

    Yes, Mythbusters had a lot of fun with this one ... and made a huge hash of the whole thing. Personally, I believe it happened as explained.

    Richard

    and thanks for the new telling of an old story

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    TOOWOOMBA QLD
    Age
    73
    Posts
    98

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Daddles
    ...and thanks for the new telling of an old story
    More than old, it's antique...

    According to Snopes, there is a version of this story in a joke book published in 1918!

    If you'd like to read the rhyming version

    I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Glenhaven, NSW
    Age
    81
    Posts
    1,064

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by doublejay
    More than old, it's antique...

    According to Snopes, there is a version of this story in a joke book published in 1918!

    If you'd like to read the rhyming version
    There was a great recording made in the 50s by Gerard Hoffnung addressing the Oxford Union. Absolutely hilarious!
    Cheers
    Graeme

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2004
    Location
    TOOWOOMBA QLD
    Age
    73
    Posts
    98

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by graemet
    There was a great recording made in the 50s by Gerard Hoffnung addressing the Oxford Union. Absolutely hilarious!
    1958 (.mov file)

    I would rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Glenhaven, NSW
    Age
    81
    Posts
    1,064

    Default

    Thanks doublej, my copy is an old cassette tape recorded off am radio yonks ago.
    Cheers
    Graeme

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