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Thread: A Sat Nav Poem

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Helensburgh
    Posts
    7,696

    Default A Sat Nav Poem

    The following was sent to me with no attibution....

    I have a little Satnav


    I have a little Satnav
    It sits there in my car
    A Satnav is a driver's friend
    It tells you where you are

    I have a little Satnav
    I've had it all my life
    It's better than the normal ones
    My Satnav is my wife

    It gives me full instructions
    Especially how to drive
    "It's thirty miles an hour", it says
    "You're doing thirty five"

    It tells me when to stop and start
    And when to use the brake
    And tells me that it's never ever
    Safe to overtake

    It tells me when a light is red
    And when it goes to green
    It seems to know instinctively
    Just when to intervene

    It lists the vehicles just in front
    And all those to the rear
    And taking this into account
    It specifies my gear.

    I'm sure no other driver
    Has so helpful a device
    For when we leave and lock the car
    It still gives its advice

    It fills me up with counselling
    Each journey's pretty fraught
    So why don't I exchange it
    And get a quieter sort?

    Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,
    Makes sure I'm properly fed,
    It washes all my shirts and things
    And keeps me warm in bed!

    Despite all these advantages
    And my tendency to scoff,
    I only wish that now and then
    I could turn the bugger off.
    CHRIS

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Upper Hutt, New Zealand
    Posts
    215

    Default

    Good one Chris! I suspect many of us have a similar device.

    One thing about Satnavs. When you set them up and it gives you a choice of voices for the talk over (Oz English, US English, Male or Female etc.) don't ever choose the child's voice.
    All you get is "Are we nearly there yet!?"
    Cheers,
    Pete

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Mt Crosby, Brisbane
    Posts
    2,548

    Default

    I will never forget my first satnav. Elizabeth argued with it constantly, often raising to a yell.

    Apparently she couldn't stand another woman telling me what to do.
    I'm just a startled bunny in the headlights of life. L.J. Young.
    We live in a free country. We have freedom of choice. You can choose to agree with me, or you can choose to be wrong.
    Wait! No one told you your government was a sitcom?

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Oberon, NSW
    Age
    63
    Posts
    13,359

    Default

    I had a little SatNav,
    It told me the way.
    I do not have it any more,
    It's sunk in Moreton Bay.

    Sadly, the above is true. I'm sooo glad their accuracy has improved since the early iterations!
    I may be weird, but I'm saving up to become eccentric.

    - Andy Mc

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