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WOODIES JOKES Heard a good joke about woodworking lately? Seen a good comic strip? Maybe know a tall TALE or two that could even be true. Let's hear it from you.

 

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  #1  
Old 4th Aug 2005, 02:40 PM
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Default How to get to heaven

I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!"

I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE F****ING DEAD!!!!!
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Old 4th Aug 2005, 03:23 PM
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I like that kid.

I reakon with gods taste for black humor the truth is opposite to whats expected. The good go to hell. And the bad go to heaven. Bet my left testicle on it.
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Old 4th Aug 2005, 04:18 PM
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Have to ask why a five year old is using the "F" word.
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Old 4th Aug 2005, 06:34 PM
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'cause they read it here??
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Old 4th Aug 2005, 09:07 PM
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Because his name is Johnnie.
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Old 4th Aug 2005, 11:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by craigb
Have to ask why a five year old is using the "F" word.
Unfortunately, if that kid lived in my town, he'd have to be deaf not to pick it up as soon as he steps outside his house. But, then, he's probably hearing from inside the house ..
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