Lawyers

**Barry Hicks** · 3rd July 2008, 09:31 AM

Allan the tonsorial artist, had just finished cutting
the hair of a priest. When the priest went to pay,
Allan said, "No Father, I can't take your money as
you do the work of the Lord.

Next morning, when he opened his shop, he found
several bibles on the doorstep.

That day, he cut the hair of a policeman. When
he went to pay, Allan said, "No, I can't take your
money because you look after us and keep criminals
away."

Next morning Allan found a security on his step,

He cut the hair of a solicitor that day and when
the solicitor went to pay, Allan said, "No, I don't
want your money because you uphold the law and
prosecute law breakers."

Next morning when he went to open his shop,
there were 12 lawyers waiting for a haircut.

**Allan at Wallan** · 3rd July 2008, 07:28 PM

Thinking, thinking ...

Allan

____________________________________

You can't teach an old mouse new clicks.

**wheelinround** · 3rd July 2008, 07:38 PM

Balder-dash

**echnidna** · 3rd July 2008, 07:42 PM

is this going to be a close shave for Allan?

**Groggy** · 3rd July 2008, 08:09 PM

What a good word, I like it

tonsorial
/ton'sawreeuhl/.
adjective (often humorous)
of or relating to a barber or hairdressing: *Gentlemen of the forest, permit us to introduce ourselves, Bassanflinders, Tonsorial Artists. - ERIC CURRY, 1940.
[Latin tonsorius relating to shaving + -al[1]]

**watson** · 3rd July 2008, 08:54 PM

I'll bring this down to the bottom level..........
What's the difference between a lawyer and a Muscovy Duck???????

**Batpig** · 3rd July 2008, 09:23 PM

Yepp... They're Terds alright Barry...

Google was gracious enough to point me in the direction of these little gems, which I humbly and herewith submit for your perusal. Please enjoy...

Q: What's the difference between a Rat, and a Lawyer?
A: There's some things a Rat just wont stoop to...

Q: What's the difference between dead Rats and dead Lawyers when you find them out on the road?
A: There's skid marks in front of the dead Rats...

Q: What's the difference between a Vulture and a Lawyer?
A: A Vulture doesn't get Frequent Flyer Points...

Q: What's the difference between a Tick and a Lawyer?
A: A tick stops sucking you dry when you're dead...

Q: Why don't Sharks attack Lawyers?
A: Professional Courtesy...

Q: What can a Goose do, that a Duck can't, and that a Lawyer should?
A: Stick his Bill up his R's!...

Q: What's the difference between a Catfish and a Lawyer?
A: One is a disgusting slimy bottom-feeding scavenger, and the other is just a harmless fish...

Q: What's the difference between a Rooster and a Lawyer?
A: A Rooster clucks defiance, whereas a Lawyer F!#!s da clients...

Q: What's the difference between a Lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer...

Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are all true stories...

Q: What's the difference between a Porcupine and a Porsche with two Lawyers in it?
A: A Porcupine has pricks on the outside...

Q: What's the difference between a Lawyer and a Boxing Referee?
A: Boxing Ref's don't get paid more for longer fights...

Q: How do you tell if a Lawyer is "Well Hung"?
A: You check how tight the noose is...

Q: Why does Washington D.C. have the most Lawyers, and New Jersey the most Toxic Waste Dumps?
A: New Jersey got first pick...

Q: What do you call an honest Lawyer?
A: A practical and theoretical impossibility...

Q: What do you call a cosy little lunch at the Club between two Lawyers who are on opposite sides of a law suit?
A: Pretty bluddy normal...

Q: What is the difference between a cut-price Gay Gigolo and a Lawyer?
A: The Gay Gigolo only screws one poor R'shole at a time...

Q: Why do Lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep their Foreskin from sliding up their neck...

Q: Why should you think twice before running down a Lawyer on a bicycle?
A: Because it might be your bicycle...

Q: Why should Lawyers be buried alive in graves that are a lot more than the standard six foot deep?
A: Because deep, deep, deep down, they're really nice people...

Q: What is the name of the crime when a Lawyer is found down at the beach buried up to his neck in the sand?
A: Not Enough Sand...

My very best wishes to The Bar...

Batpig.

**tea lady** · 4th July 2008, 12:06 AM

Originally Posted by Groggy

What a good word, I like it

tonsorial
/ton'sawreeuhl/.
adjective (often humorous)
of or relating to a barber or hairdressing: *Gentlemen of the forest, permit us to introduce ourselves, Bassanflinders, Tonsorial Artists. - ERIC CURRY, 1940.
[Latin tonsorius relating to shaving + -al[1]]

I think barbers use to remove tonsils too. Or was that that they were like the surgeons of the town as well. You know! Remove limbs when necessary and stuff.

**Skew ChiDAMN!!** · 4th July 2008, 01:42 AM

They used to do blood-letting & leeching, too.

Does this make them kin to lawyers?

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