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Thread: One liners...

  1. #1
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    Default One liners...

    Here are a selection of one liners that I enjoy, and often put to various electronic documents

    Some of them have been plagiarised from signatures on this and other forums; please feel free to add to this lot!


    I for one, like Roman Numerals.
    There is a fine line between numerator and denominator. Only a fraction of people understand this.
    There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand Binary Notation and those who donít.
    A thief stole my anti-depressants. I hope heís happy now.
    Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is similar.
    Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol? I think Geri can.
    I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. Iíll let you know.
    I saw a robbery at an Apple store, the Police have me down as an iWitness.
    I only recognise 25 letters in the English alphabet. I donít know why.
    Computer Security wonít let me use ďFortnightĒ as my password. Apparently itís too weak.
    I became a security guard for Samsung because I wanted to be a Guardian of the Galaxy.
    To be frank; Iíd have to change my name.
    My horseís name is ďMayoĒ. Mayo neighs.
    The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest.
    I could go running, or I could win Lotto. The odds are about the same.
    I never run with scissors. Actually, the last two words were unnecessary.
    Someone once told me I was delusional. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my unicorn.
    A thief stole my anti-depressants. I hope heís happy now.

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  3. #2
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Chief Tiff View Post
    There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand Binary Notation and those who donít.
    I for one, would be careful of using this one above. I posted it in the jokes forum a few years ago and I was threatened with all sorts of harm by people who would not understand.
    Doug3030's Open Shed Day 2019 - Sunday 6 October 2019, Hoppers Crossing
    See here for details:
    www.woodworkforums.com/f303/doug3030s-shed-day-2019-a-224305#post2112421

  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chief Tiff View Post
    There are 10 kinds of people; those who understand Binary Notation and those who donít.
    I have a "T" shirt with that on it. It is a chore to wear because the don'ts want you to explain. After a few frustrating conversations now I just say, "Nothing wrong with that but you don't."
    Rich

    When SWMBO said "I won't cook in metric."
    The metric system died in the US.

  5. #4
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    Default

    The top three are my favourites. I love puns where you may have to look twice before groaning...

    I also have a suitably sarcastic T-shirt; "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you"
    A thief stole my anti-depressants. I hope heís happy now.

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