Some Newfoundland humour

**Breslauer** · 26th May 2005, 12:27 PM

We Newfoundlanders are known for our sometimes "tongue-in-cheek" Jokes, being able to make fun at ourselfes. Of course the "Mainland" Canadians don't have our sense of humour and think that our jokes are SIMPLE. Well we tell them the reason our jokes are simple is so that the mainlanders can understand them. Here is a sample:

Two Newfie's went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of
wine they lay down in their tent for the night and went to sleep. Some
hours later, one of them awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.

"Bryce, look up at the sky and tell me what you see," said Lloyd. Bryce
replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Lloyd questioned. Bryce pondered for a
minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe Saturn is in Leo. Logically, I deduce that
the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see
that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow".

"Is that all?" Lloyd asked. "Yes," Bryce replied. "Why, am I missing
something?"

Lloyd was quiet for a moment, then spoke softly :

“Bryce you dickhead. Someone has stolen the tent."

**Iain** · 26th May 2005, 07:35 PM

We have Queenslanders and Tasmanians

Kevlar vest on, yee haaa

**bitingmidge** · 26th May 2005, 09:00 PM

Originally Posted by Iain

We have Queenslanders and Tasmanians.......

.... who understand that this sort of thing happens often...

in Victoria!!!

P

**echnidna** · 26th May 2005, 09:15 PM

First bite by a queenslander!!!!

**Zed** · 26th May 2005, 09:46 PM

it seems dickhead is an acceptable word. poor he must get so frustrated editing and making the profanofilter longer and longer....

**E. maculata** · 26th May 2005, 10:09 PM

Can't see why dickhead would be offensive it's a real enough condition, plenty of the afflicted around

**Gingermick** · 26th May 2005, 10:11 PM

Originally Posted by Zed

it seems dickhead is an acceptable word. ..

Well it is much less offensive than .. other things.

**bsrlee** · 26th May 2005, 10:22 PM

You'd better watch out, I first saw this joke as 'two Irishmen'. Someone is stealing stereotypes.

**Driver** · 26th May 2005, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by bsrlee

You'd better watch out, I first saw this joke as 'two Irishmen'. Someone is stealing stereotypes.

It's actually a Lone Ranger and Tonto story

**craigb** · 26th May 2005, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by E. maculata

Can't see why dickhead would be offensive

Neither can I but r*****g is banned now too.

DAMHIK

**bitingmidge** · 26th May 2005, 11:10 PM

Originally Posted by craigb

Neither can I but r****g is banned now too.

DAMHIK

Sorry to hear that Craig, was it something you said??

P

**Grunt** · 26th May 2005, 11:14 PM

You all are a bunch of wankers. Ooops that ones gone too.

**bitingmidge** · 26th May 2005, 11:19 PM

Originally Posted by Grunt

You all are a bunch of wankers. Ooops that ones gone too.

Well if r******g's banned .......

P

**E. maculata** · 26th May 2005, 11:32 PM

Grunts' word got me thinking of the old adage.....

the very first time I had sex....

It was dark.................

I was scared.........

& I was ALONE

and if r*****gs' banned that's all that's left

**E. maculata** · 26th May 2005, 11:35 PM

Ahem, apparently it's not

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