True story from a few years ago.

A mate rang me one day and asked me around for a beer and to see his new dog.
I know nothing about dogs but I do know about free beer so off I went.
When I arrived he took me out the back and there was a beautiful young German Shepherd dog, I'd guess around six months old.
"What d'you reckon?" asked my mate.
"Very nice," I said. "But I don't know why you wanted me to look at him. I know nothing about dogs."
"Oh," he says. "I didn't want you to look at him, I wanted him to look at you."
Then, crouching down next to the dog, he points at me and says. "Take at good look at this bloke. This is what you'll end up looking like if you keep licking yourself."