Thanks Thanks:  0
Likes Likes:  0
Needs Pictures Needs Pictures:  0
Picture(s) thanks Picture(s) thanks:  0
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Stella Awards

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Tin Can Bay, Queensland, Australia
    Age
    72
    Posts
    1,032

    Stella Awards



    It's time once again to consider the candidates for the annual Stella
    Awards. These prizes should rank right up there with the Beagle Awards
    as prime examples that Darwin might have been wrong. The Stella's are
    named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and
    successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for
    the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. Actually, the
    award should be given to the flaming idiots who awarded anything at all to
    these
    morons---who deserved NOTHING!!!! The following are this year's
    candidates:

    1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a
    jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was
    running
    inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably
    surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler
    was Ms. Robertson's son.

    2. 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman
    apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
    he was trying to steal his neighbour's hub caps.

    3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
    had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the
    garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.
    He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and
    garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr.
    Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a
    case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
    homeowner's
    insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury
    agreed to the tune of $500,000.

    4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and
    medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
    neighbour's
    beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award
    was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a
    little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting It repeatedly
    with
    a pellet gun..

    5. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
    Lancaster,
    Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
    coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had
    thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

    6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a
    night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
    the
    floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms Walton
    was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
    the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

    7. This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
    City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor
    home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the
    cruise
    control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and
    make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway,
    crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him
    in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded
    him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles
    Perhaps it is better to be irresponsible and right, than to be responsible and wrong.
    Winston Churchill

  2. # ADS
    Google Adsense Advertisement
    Join Date
    Always
    Location
    Advertising world
    Age
    2010
    Posts
    Many





     
  3. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2000
    Location
    Drop Bear Capital of Gippsland (Lang Lang) Vic Australia
    Age
    74
    Posts
    6,518
    You mean so far I've been lucky with my cruise control?

    ------------------
    : http://community.webshots.com/user/iain49
    Stupidity kills. Absolute stupidity kills absolutely.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Posts
    209

    Post

    Why be a dole bludger when you can go and live in the USA.

    Gino

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 1999
    Location
    Warrnambool Victoria Australia
    Posts
    55

    Post

    Just wait, it will be the same here soon, so you don't have to wast you money going to USA.
    DonN

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2000
    Location
    Melbourne, Victoria
    Posts
    209

    Post

    God help Australia

  7. #6
    DavidG Guest

    Post

    All cases above are fake.
    See http://www.snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.htm

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Closplint., Kentucky USA
    Posts
    2
    You sure must have a lot of time on you hand old buddy. I noticed that one of your hobbies was "DUH" and judging from the content of your message, it certaintly stands out.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •