Thread: Today's UK

It was snowing all last night. So my day went like this:


8:00 I made a snowman.
8:10 A feminist passed by and asked me why it wasn’t a snowwoman.
8:15 So, I made a snowwoman.
8:17 My neighbours’ nanny complained about my snowwoman's voluptuous chest.
8:20 The gay couple living nearby grumbled that it should have been two snowmen instead.
8:25 The vegans at No. 12 complained about the carrot nose, as carrots are veggie food and not to decorate snow figures with.
8:28 I am being called a racist because the snowwoman is white. 8:31 The Muslim across the road wants the snowwoman to wear a headscarf.
8:40 Someone calls the cops who show up to see what’s going on.
8:42 They tell me the broomstick of the snowwoman needs to be removed because it could be used as a deadly weapon. Things get worse after I mutter: "Yeah, if it's up your a***"
8:45 A TV news crew shows up. I am asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow- women? I reply, "Snowballs" . I am then called a sexist.
8:52 My phone is seized and thoroughly checked while I am being blindfolded and flown to the police station in a helicopter.
9:00 I'm on the TV news as a suspected terrorist, intent on stirring up trouble during this difficult weather.
9:10 I am asked if I have any accomplices.
9:29 A little known jihadist group has claimed it was their plot.

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It’s just the country we live in today!