Thread: The Rip in the Fabric of the Universe ...

"Fark me !"
"No thanks" replied Jimmy as he landed with a bump.
"What's that?"

Another shape was falling through the rip it was Jenny still humming......

... the William Tell Overture aka the theme tune from The Lone Ranger.

Paddy grabbed Jimmy by the throat. "Any hint from you of a tendency to tell Lone Ranger jokes will result in your immediate death!" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Take your hands from me windpipe and I'll render the appropriate reassurance." croaked Jimmy, who had a true Irishman's verbosity.

Meanwhile, Jenny ...

...happily humming the tune that had just sent Paddy high, was studiously engaged in thumbing through a pile of interior decorating books so she could repaint the fabric of the universe.
While flipping through the pages she noticed a cute chimp and a bricklayer in an interesting pose so .....

... she immediately realised that she had inadvertently stumbled upon a publication that had no place amongst her stack of books on interior decorating. A publication aimed at a very specific and narrow interest group, in fact.

Intrigued, she flipped through its pages and came upon some very interesting information relating to foil beanies and pancakes. This led her ...

..to consult the great book of witchcraft so that she....

turn herself into the Great Alana and ...

do some bricklaying on the side...

but pondered as to which side............

board she had left the spell book in.

Meanwhile Jimmy and Paddy O' Doors had gone exploring and stumbled across a village where people had curious names....

"Who are you?" asked a villager.
"Paddy O'Doors, who are you?" replied Paddy.
"I'm Mortiser Adams, pleased to meet you, will you be staying for dinner?"

Jimmy could have sworn he saw the womans eyes flash red as she said dinner but he passed it off as a trick of the light.

Jenny Raytor had found the spell book and....

...thought she would pick one out randomly.
So she closed her eyes, opened the book and put her finger on the page.
When she looked she found that she had selected a recipe called "Big Al's Pancake Batter" so she excitedly ......

... started to collect the ingredients.

It was only when she reached the part that said "melt down five old 78s" that she realised she had turned over two pages at once.

In great confusion, she coated the bed of a well-used Stanley Bailey #4 with a nutritious and satisfying mixture of beaten eggs and flour at the same time as she poisoned several of her dinner guests with a series of featherlight crepes made of Al's Patented Craporium Japanning Compound.

This caused ...

... the hamsters to rush for the remaining Al's Patented Craporium Japanning Compound so they could use it to ......

dip thier yables in it and save a fortune on MFKL. The hamsters failed to realise ...

... that Al's Patented Craporium Japanning Compound is actually a thermoplastic which requires heat to render it viscous. Thus those hamsters who attempted a cold application were disappointed.

Those who realised that the compound required to be in a hot molten state felt very superior right up until the moment when they subjected their miniscule appendages to a serious thermal overload. This caused them to deliver - in high castrato tones - a moving rendition of the well-known Jerry Lee Lewis classic: ... (?)