Thread: Ted

“Your days of bushgranging are over Ted Billy.” Spoke SupaTroopa Laura in a steady commanding tone.
Billy the bushgranger stood holding a bag of looted mixed nuts and berries.
Laura spoke again, “Drop the loot and put yours paws on the vehicle.”
Ted looked around and saw a scrawny old police goat refuelling at a carrot station.
He remained still.
“I said… Drop the loot and put your berry swipin’ hands on the goat!” yelled the SupaTroopa.
Ted’s eyes darted from Laura to the goat to a fruity bulge on his furry hip.
Laura kept her gaze fixed on Ted.
She made the mistake of blinking.
When her eyelids opened Ted Billy the bushgranging wombat was nowhere to be seen, the only traces that he had ever been there were a scuffle of paw prints and the fact that Laura’s police goat was now lying on its back bleating pathetically.
fficeffice" />>>
Joe heard some ruffling in the nearby bushes and instinctively reached for a banana.
“Fiend or foe.” He questioned the ruffling bush, brandishing the fruit.
Ted appeared next to the bush holding the bag of loot, “You know. You are actually supposed to say friend not fiend.” He said as he swaggered over to the makeshift camp.
“Ah, you see well. I thought that since we is by law, fiends. Anyone who is not a fiend would in fact be a foe.” Replied Joe, proud of his reasoning.
“You know sometimes I worry about you Mr Toe.” Said Ted as he placed the bag of berries down next to Joe the Toe, “Here. SupaTroopa Laura sends her compliments.”
“Laura? For me?” asked Joe in a dreamy voice.
“Honestly Joe, I cannot understand how you can possibly think well of that woman.” Ted said, “You do realise she is in fact the enemy.”
“…”
“She wants to do away with us.” The bushgranger tried to explain, “You know… Kapow! Next thing you know there is a banana through your head.”
“Aww. You’re just pullin’ me leg. Did you see the way Laura looked at me in that bank what we done robbed?” Joe asked in the same dreamy voice as before.
“Yes I do.” Ted replied, “She was also pointing a tomato at you at the time.”
“…”>>