Thread: Am I an idiot ?

Originally Posted by Groggy

and if not, do you want one

I bet we all have some suggestions.

Denn

Originally Posted by nihilism

I've been married since 25th July this year though so currently can no longer accept applications for girlfriends.

Bugger, worth a try.

I withdraw my previous assessment for the youngest of my sons.

We left him at home, actually he moved back with his girlfriend after renting with some friends for 6 months. OK, he wanted to pay rent on the house while we are away- a good thing.

We left him understanding ( we thought ) that he was responsible for the lawns and gardens. According to friends the front garden and lawn are a mess and he has let my prized Black Palm die- a VERY bad thing.

We left $100 on the Go Via for the motorways. He has used that plus $132 more. This is legitimate usage to travel to and from work. Problem is the$132 has been the subject of an email to me as the transponders are in my name. He has not even attempted to pay the bill - a bloody bad thing.

I rang him to remind him of his responsibilities. He read from the Book of Excuses, said he didn't want me ringing him just to "get up him" and hung the phone up - a VERY BLOODY bad thing.

I think the scales are against him.

Starting to sound sluggish Artme.

I did the whole move out, move back in thing with my daughter. She is currently OUT with Slug Boy who to his credit is the same slug boy as the original OUT. That's about all I can give him credit for though. He doesn't have a job and my daughter pays all bills and rent. Although I have expressed my opinion, she is an adult and needs to make her own mistakes. But she knows that I will always be there to support her if she needs help. And slug boy knows that I have a shovel and a 4WD. Strangely he has never asked me to drive him anywhere.

Originally Posted by Phil Spencer

I was thrown out of home Jill what's wrong with loving ones daughter and not wanting her to experience the same trauma?

In doing so I have relived the trauma that I went through, to this day I still don't talk to my father.

Compounding all this my daughter has CFS.

I don't think you have done anything wrong initially Phil- I am firmly in the camp that parents can only advise, assist and provide support for our kids. Our kids make mistakes and like us at their age, they do not understand the anguish that we go through. They will once they are parents, however.

I had an issue with my son who was living with a girl who I can only describe as a 'Slug Girl'. My son was raised in a warm loving family and had not experienced such selfish and predatory behaviour from a girl before. I helped set him up initially, as fathers do, and against my advice she was later allowed to move in with him. He was quite miserable for the 2 1/2 years they were together.

It is thankfully over now and he is happy again and with a great career. He has just now bought his own house at 26 years of age. The reason I still have a great relationship with my son I think is because I was always there for him, even when he made crazy choices.

I think its admirable that you do not want your daughter to suffer the same family breakdown that you did. I think it is very important for the ultimate well being of children at any age to have healthy and supportive relationships with their parents

As men we love to take action and fix things when they go wrong, including poor choices our kid's make. But 'things' such as this cannot usually be fixed in our tight time frames.

We all love our kids and they will make mistakes no matter how we try to advise them Strange thing is you can spend years telling them the right way to live and the someone comes along and tells them the wrongs things and they take notice of someone who they have known for a few moments and all your teachings go out the window.
I guess the only thing we can do is let them learn from their own mistakes, if they wont listen and be there for them to pick up the pieces. It's not easy rearing kids. It often makes me wonder what the future holds for us all when the younger generation take over from us oldies.

Originally Posted by Phil Spencer

where are all the eligible young men?

Here Sir!

I think you need to have a talk with your daughter, tell her that she's worth more than Slug boy's offering. Also have a word to Slug boy, Fathers can have quite an effect on young men who get near their daughters. Don't ask me how I know

Hmmm . . . Are you an idiot? (Hope you didn't ask and expect everyone to give you nice 'you poor thing' answers?)
No you’re not an idiot for wanting to help your daughter.
Yes you are an idiot (you did ask!!!) for making it waaaaay too easy for her to move out with someone you do not approve of but don’t worry, take comfort in being one of the many thousands of parent nowadays who for whatever reason, doesn't say NO and just throws money at their children thinking that they are doing so in their kids best interest. Another example of this modern day ‘tough love’ is where parents give their kids a car instead of telling them to go out, get a job and working for it.
To all the people who are saying that kids need to make their own mistakes . . . I'm still trying to work out how physically helping and funding the move equates to 'letting her make her own mistake'? Hang on, I just got it . . . you are just trying to be nice for Phil.
No you’re not an idiot for going and rescuing her from a bad situation but you can’t exactly whinge about the extra cost when you put her there.
The sad part is that your daughter will probably always end up with Girlyboy-Mooching-Slugboys as there appears to be a growing plague of them out there who need to harden (the . . . .) up, throw away the hair product and get a haircut (for starters).
In defence of the slugboys of this world . . it’s probably not all their fault as their fathers may not have spent quantity time with them when they were younger so that dad could be a greater (and hopefully positive) influence on them and hopefully a good role model for them – that’s of course if they were lucky enough to have a father around.
Sorry Phil, you put the question out there and there are probably more issues involved here between yourself and your daughter that a forum won't be able to work out for you but here's my opinion even if it is wrong.
Cheers
(Oops, I've probably offended a few people? Did I leave anyone out?)

Originally Posted by Brudda

Might I suggest you do similar to what I once did.. Take "slug boy" out into the workshop, and introduce him to the machines you will use to make his body disappear if he makes your daughters life a misery.

My "slug boy" didn't come back

Love ya work Brudda!
(Is that Brudda as in Brudda from another Mudda?)

Originally Posted by Bazzmate

Hmmm . . . Are you an idiot? (Hope you didn't ask and expect everyone to give you nice 'you poor thing' answers?)
No you’re not an idiot for wanting to help your daughter.
Yes you are an idiot (you did ask!!!) for making it waaaaay too easy for her to move out with someone you do not approve of but don’t worry, take comfort in being one of the many thousands of parent nowadays who for whatever reason, doesn't say NO and just throws money at their children thinking that they are doing so in their kids best interest. Another example of this modern day ‘tough love’ is where parents give their kids a car instead of telling them to go out, get a job and working for it.
To all the people who are saying that kids need to make their own mistakes . . . I'm still trying to work out how physically helping and funding the move equates to 'letting her make her own mistake'? Hang on, I just got it . . . you are just trying to be nice for Phil.
No you’re not an idiot for going and rescuing her from a bad situation but you can’t exactly whinge about the extra cost when you put her there.
The sad part is that your daughter will probably always end up with Girlyboy-Mooching-Slugboys as there appears to be a growing plague of them out there who need to harden (the . . . .) up, throw away the hair product and get a haircut (for starters).
In defence of the slugboys of this world . . it’s probably not all their fault as their fathers may not have spent quantity time with them when they were younger so that dad could be a greater (and hopefully positive) influence on them and hopefully a good role model for them – that’s of course if they were lucky enough to have a father around.
Sorry Phil, you put the question out there and there are probably more issues involved here between yourself and your daughter that a forum won't be able to work out for you but here's my opinion even if it is wrong.
Cheers
(Oops, I've probably offended a few people? Did I leave anyone out?)

You are most likely right in everything you have said Bazzmate, but having being belted senseless until I urinated my pants by my father as a kid, and every time I looked in the mirror I was reminded buy the scars on my face so I grew a beard to hide them, I suppose that I have over compensated. 'Tough love' it is another word for abuse as far as I am concerned.

Slug Boys father left his first wife and small kids to take up with a tart who gave him Slug Boy after a romp on the kitchen floor (Slug Boy takes delight in recounting the story), father of Slug Boy ignored his first family had nothing to do with them, disowned them and refused to pay maintenance.

So far from what I can see Slug Boy is a chip off the old block, I only hope and pray that my daughter comes to her senses.

When i became a JP I took an oath that I would treat all people with fairness and without prejudice something that I hold sacred BUT I am about to break that oath.

Originally Posted by Phil Spencer

Slug Boys father left his first wife and small kids to take up with a tart who gave him Slug Boy after a romp on the kitchen floor (Slug Boy takes delight in recounting the story), father of Slug Boy ignored his first family had nothing to do with them, disowned them and refused to pay maintenance.

So far from what I can see Slug Boy is a chip off the old block, I only hope and pray that my daughter comes to her senses.

Sounds like he really admires someone who treats women with contempt. Hope she comes to here senses soon.

my little girl, 12 going on 21. know that the 2 tractor diff's in the safe are not for show.

Can't believe the gaul of Slug Boy rings my wife and asked if he can have the contents of my scrap wood bin for his fathers fire . My wife came out to the workshop and relayed the message think that I used and invented a few rude words Rhonda was laughing said she knew what my answer would be. Honistly some people have a hide, maybe I can gently place the scrap wood barrel where the sun doesn't shine.

To answer your question, yes.

No-body is ever good enough for Daddy's little princess, remember your first meetings with your father in law?

By forcing your opinions about your daughter's/son's partner will more likely drive them closer together than tear them apart.

Any parent who would have tried the showing what machines they would have used on me would have got a first hand experience themselves. I threw my wife's uncle out of our wedding for making similar noises about looking after his niece.

Paying for anything your kids want to do after they have got their first fulltime job does not encourage fiscal responsibilty, and yes, it may be hard to see them make mistakes, but mistakes they fix themselves are rarely repeated.

Originally Posted by Phil Spencer

Can't believe the gaul of Slug Boy rings my wife and asked if he can have the contents of my scrap wood bin for his fathers fire . My wife came out to the workshop and relayed the message think that I used and invented a few rude words Rhonda was laughing said she knew what my answer would be. Honistly some people have a hide, maybe I can gently place the scrap wood barrel where the sun doesn't shine.

While you keep giving he/they will continue to take.

Re the wood scraps - offer to sell it to him at the going rate for firewood.