Black Beast Down

**Daddles** · 28th March 2007, 11:19 PM

G'day, this is a blatant cut and paste from a cycling forum of a post by me. As you read it, you'll maybe understand why I didn't rewrite it. I put it up because it might offer a wee bit of harmless entertainment to some of you who, like me, enjoy life on two wheels (pedalling furiously, none of this stinky motorised stuff

).

Originally Posted by europa

Word of warning - when your new bike gets to 1,100 km, take a rest for the next 100km - it's dangerous.

Yup, I put the Black Beast (my Trek520) down again ... a week after the last time

This time I did it properly. None of this woosey 'lay it into soft dirt' caper.

They are rebuilding a bridge here. The road through the roadworks goes from four lanes to one. A bike path takes off to one side right at the final narrowing.

It's dusk - that horrible grey light where my old eyes don't work too well and bike lights down help at all. Traffic is solid. I'm in the construction area, speed limit has dropped to 40 and I've just avoided being squeezed by two cars as lanes disappear, so I've wound my speed up - the computer showed a max of 35.1 km/hr afterwards and I'm damned sure that was the speed of the prang.

The final narrowing comes up. Cars piling up and pushing for a spot. I veer off the road, across a car park gutter crossover, lined up for the start of the bike path.

The bike disappears from under me.

WHAM - my left should hits the bitumen (tear in jersey)
WHAM - my face hits the bitumen
bounce and scrape and I slide to a halt.

Up on me feet. Quick stagger. Drag bike off road where it's holding up the traffic. Attractive brunette appears in front of me: "are you alright?"

Damned silly question as it turns out. Blood's pouring from my mouth, my nose, most fingers, my hands, both knees and my stomach. My front teeth feel as though someone's had a go at them with a rubber mallet and I can feel bits of tooth amongst the blood in my mouth (the tooth I chipped as a kid no longer looks lopsided).

About then, I started to shake a tad - well, you do that don't you. I'm looking over to where the prang started - I can't see a cause. The brunette's looking too "my husband rides a bike. What happened? I can't see any reason for it".

Another attractive lady appears (there's a hint here for bachelors

). "I wish I'd had my video, it'd be good on Funniest Home Videos". A quick glance shows that she's white and shaking, so I don't take offence.

Now the bike. One brifter (brake and gear change combination lever) is pointing towards to other as if to blame it for the prang, a large scar up its side. The bar tape will need replacing. A scrape on a pedal and one quick release, and there's blood all over it so I've got to wash her now dammit. I was able to knock the brifter back onto place (none of allen keys fitted the bolt that holds it) and ride back to where I'd left the car. Pedals spin smoothly so there are no bent axles there (those horrid M324s that everyone complains about too

). Brifter seems to work as well as ever. So it looks like the damage is cosmetic.

Gloves are a write off (glad I was wearing them) and the helmet doesn't have a mark on it.

Damage to me? There's a graze on the end of my nose which runs down my face to an amazingly enlarged top lip - I'd scare horses and small children. Grazes on both knees and a shin. Most fingers have bits out of them and there's a decent hole in the back of one hand. My tummy has a large graze on it (the benefits of my body shape - the gut protected the rest of me, bit like an airbag I suppose) Both wrists have been jarred rather badly and one heel doesn't want me to walk on it. All cleaned up nicely after some vigorous rubbing with Detol and cotton wool. I'm lucky, I bleed like blazes then scab very quickly so wounds tend to get flushed with blood then protected and infections are rare with me. Everything looks clean now.

So, I'll be able to mope around feeling sorry for myself now.

Man that was a big bang. I remember feeling the bitumen hit me in the face, then me lifting off and coming down again.

Oh, and the cause? Remember this was roadworks? Well, they'd sealed this bit of road, but not to final height. The gutter crossover was new and, of course, at the final height of the road, so there's a 1" step between the road surface and the edge of the concrete crossover. In the half light, I just couldn't see it and, if fact, still couldn't see it when I went back to look at it - I had to put my foot on the road to see that it was lower than the concrete. I hit that at a shallow angle at 35 km/hr. I take that as a good excuse for going down

Richard

**journeyman Mick** · 29th March 2007, 01:40 AM

Richard,
my commiserations, hopefully you can still pour some liquid pain killer of your choice down the hatch. I haven't ridden much on the road (or anywhere for that matter

) since I almost smeared myself all over the front of a wide load truck coming up the Kuranda range, whilst I was going down at about 50 klicks with another truck going down the range in front of me. I was going too fast to stop (wheels locked jup when I tried to) and I was forced to overtake the down hill truck, narrowly missing the wide load. Couldn't avoid any of it as I came tearing around a tight corner and was confronted with the two trucks.

. Hopefully you won't feel too sore tomorrow.

Mick

**Schtoo** · 29th March 2007, 01:56 AM

Ouchie...

I have not done one that ugly since I was a kid, and I still have scars, even though they are hard to see now.

Ouchie again.

I can say I have come off at about that same speed, luckily no hard done save some pride.

Wet day, and there is a long arcade here you can ride down for some of the way. They also have these rubber 'tiles' set down that have either raised dots or raised bars. For blind folks of course. Oh yeah, the arcade is tiled all the way...

I came tearing down to make the crossing signal, and made it easily. Got the the other side, and some old grandma decides to cu me off, no problems since I have a decent bike with big disk brakes and nice rubber. Rarely get into any trouble no matter the weather.

Remember those rubber tiles?

I didn't.

The front wheel got locked into a nice, long row of them, and locked up. The back wheel missed them, and kept going in another dirrection. Bike goes down, I slide with it.

For about 20 metres...

I stop, put my head on the ground and think how nice it was to come unstuck at half warp and have zero broken/painful bits. Everyone around runs over and asks if I am ok. I just smile, pick myself up, note that I am unbroken but wet and find the bike.

Scratched brake lever is all. Jump back on and off I go at a more relaxed pace to my ultimate destination, the coffee shop.

When I get there, the dangerously cute girl behind the counter asks what happened, I tell her and she hands me a very large cup of coffee on the house.

Pretty good result if you ask me.

Mick has the right idea, a little liquid painkiller should hit the spot.

And please be careful.

**RufflyRustic** · 29th March 2007, 10:06 AM

YEEEEEOOOOWWWWWW!!!!

I've just relived my worst cropper off a bike onto the road and that knee with the gravel still in it is now throbbing in sympathy - hope you feel better very soon!

Wendy

**silentC** · 29th March 2007, 10:07 AM

I have been lucky to avoid any high speed falls. Riding on the roads in Sydney is asking for trouble and there were plenty of near misses.

The only time I ever came off was at a stand still. Riding across a pedestrian bridge and through a dog leg turn, a big stupid golden retriever comes across my path. His owners are busy talking and haven't noticed me. I come to a halt, hoping the dog will move, but he doesn't, no time to get the feet out (pre-clipless days) so over I go. The owners hear the crash and look around and see me lying on my back on the ground, bike sticking up in the air still strapped to my feet. The dog comes over and licks my face and trots off to stir up trouble elsewhere.

I came off on my motorbike in similar circumstances to yours. Travelling at night, went to change lanes, only to realise too late that the white strip on the road was actually a 4" wide concrete kerb. The woman who nearly ran over me was worse than I was, thought we were going to have to call the paramedics.

**jmk89** · 29th March 2007, 10:16 AM

Daddles

Sorry to hear about the fall - this should just encourage you to make your next acquisition a recumbent trike!

Get well soon

Jeremy

**Daddles** · 29th March 2007, 10:20 AM

Thanks for the thoughts. I'm a bit stiff and sorry this morning but otherwise okay.

this should just encourage you to make your next acquisition a recumbent trike!

Blow that for a joke. My next bike WILL be a recumbent but it'll have two wheels, underseat steering and it won't be an 'acquisition' because I'll be making it myself

Richard

**journeyman Mick** · 29th March 2007, 10:29 AM

Originally Posted by silentC

.........The only time I ever came off was at a stand still...............

That reminds me...

Years ago I drove over to a mate's place on a friday arvo to pickup his compressor. He and a few others were kicking back on the front verandah with copious amounts of alcohol and invited me to partake. Being a responsible bloke, I wasn't going to drive my ute home whilst under the weather, but I also didn't want to leave it parked on the street overnight with all the tools on the back. So I drove home and rode back on my racer. A merry night was had by all, including the concretor who was trowelling off the back patio slab till about 11pm. He was slowed down somewhat by being given an endless supply of alcohol.

After partaking of a few refreshing beverages myself (the term "quaffing" comes to mind) I mounted my trusty steed and set off home. I got halfway down the road when I realised I'd left my lights behind as I'd strapped them to the ceiling fan for an improvised "disco light". Turned around and rode back, stopping in front of everone still on the front verandah enjoying drinks. Fell down to one side in slow motion as I realised too late that I'd (uncharacteristically) strapped my feet in tight and I was actually wearing my proper cycling shoes with the plastic bit that clipped into the pedal.

. Gales of laughter ensued from the audience, but as I'd fallen on the lawn nothing was injured, not even my pride (it's not really possible to injure your pride once your blood alcohol level gets into the double digits

)

Mick

PS Richard, hope our tales of woe help ease the aches and pains.

**silentC** · 29th March 2007, 10:31 AM

I'd strapped them to the ceiling fan for an improvised "disco light"

You crack me up Mick

**journeyman Mick** · 29th March 2007, 10:58 AM

Originally Posted by silentC

You crack me up Mick

It was almost 20 years ago, we were all less affluent than we are now (read, struggling) but everyone there still remembers it to this day as one of the best parties ever.

Mick

**Daddles** · 29th March 2007, 11:24 AM

Originally Posted by journeyman Mick

It was almost 20 years ago, we were all less affluent than we are now (read, struggling) but everyone there still remembers it to this day as one of the best parties ever.

Mick

I wasn't aware that affluence had any effect on the quality of a party.

Reading your yarn, I was expecting you to find you'd parked your bike in the wet concrete and it was still there

Richard

**silentC** · 29th March 2007, 11:45 AM

Ah yes, the epic party, when reputations were created or destroyed, nicknames invented, friendships forged, relationships left in ruin. Life is accessed as "before the party" or "since the party". Yep, we had one of them last weekend!

**journeyman Mick** · 29th March 2007, 12:28 PM

Originally Posted by Daddles

I wasn't aware that affluence had any effect on the quality of a party...........
Richard

Richard,
more about the fact that we all had bugger all then and could barely afford homebrew and cheap wine and we had a crappy stereo, moodlighting was lights off my bike on the spinning ceiling fan etc etc etc. We've all moved on and the host especially is pretty wealthy. We've all had/been to parties since then most of which have been forgotten and none of them come close to this one even though the surroundings have been better, the sound quality excellent, the alcohol of a higher quality and greater volumes etc etc etc. Something to do with having less of everything, especially cares.

Mick

**Stuart** · 29th March 2007, 12:28 PM

Tend to avoid bikes these days - have too many scars (and permanent injuries) (and that was before I started on motorcycles!)

Sometimes I see these guys flying past looking all fit and all, and thinking that perhaps I should relive that aspect of my youth (yeah, I'm all of 37) .....then my knees remind me that they will make my life a living hell if I consider it!

**silentC** · 29th March 2007, 12:30 PM

I broke another spoke on my rear wheel a couple of weeks ago. I don't know if it's because the bike is 14 years old or because I'm getting fat!

Luckily Lycra stretches

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