Thread: I Really Cracked It Last Night!

I had an incident on Monday along these lines. SWMBO and I went shopping and she wanted to try on some clothes. I sat down on the seat outside the change rooms waiting for SWMBO. While I was sitting there a couple and their young kids (in the trolley) came in and the mother waited outside with the kids. The little girl looked over to me smiled and waved so I smiled and waved back. The mother didn't see her daughter but saw me wave back and immediately gave me the foulest look and moved away.
When her partner came out it was obvious that she was mouthing off to him and nodding over in my direction. Now if I had my kids with me or it was SWMBO waiting for me it would have been a totally different scenario.

Again for the umpteenth time I am reminded that I belong to a group of males who are labeled as child molestors, sexual predators, wife beaters, bigamists, adulterers, voyers, etc. etc. etc.

Not with you ernknot, what was it on the news that got you going? I don't watch the news so I missed it.

Originally Posted by Wood Butcher

The mother didn't see her daughter but saw me wave back and immediately gave me the foulest look and moved away.
When her partner came out it was obvious that she was mouthing off to him and nodding over in my direction..

It's not about making males into eunichs.

We live in a society where the abuse of women and children has been widely acknowledged. I don't feel that the level of violence to women and children has increased but certainly awareness has increased. In fact I beleive that in our society this type of violence has decreased in the past 30 years. For thousands of years the physically weaker members of our society have been indemically abused by unscrupulous males. In the past it was seen as the males right or in fact even duty to take this role.

At last women and children have been given a voice and their pain and suffering have been acknowledged. Today, we males suffer from misplaced suspicion, and sometimes more overt manifestations of that suspicion on occaision and unfortunately we need to just "GET OVER IT" As long as we conduct oureselves in caring and fair minded manner in respect to those who may be phyiscally not as powerful as we are, we have nothing to fear and should feel within ouselves that we are doing the right thing and what other people say or think on this subject doesn't apply to us.

So if you get odd stares or rude commentswhen you are seen waving at little kids in the shopping centre perhaps it may be prudent not to wave in future. Perhaps just a polite nod is enough to aknowledge that young person if you feel the need to.

It is difficult that we are seen as potential molesters or abusers but I fear it will take a long time before complete trust is given. We need to earn that trust and cop the negative attitude in the knowledge that all we are seeing is the manifesttion of the pain of many generations of abused people. I hope my grandsons and great grandsons are able to live in a world where they are trusted more than our generation.

It is sad that you can't interact with kids in public like this but just think of the kid who was raped and murdered in a shopping center in Melbourne a few short months ago. This encounter possibly started off with an innocent smile which invited the attentions of the monster who perpetrated this horrific crime. There is a good reason for parents to be suspicious of people interacting with their kids in shopping centers.

I will probably be flamed death over thsi post but I speak my mind and if you have a different view, we live in a democracy and you are entitled to it.

Originally Posted by old_picker

I will probably be flamed death over thsi post but I speak my mind and if you have a different view, we live in a democracy and you are entitled to it.

On that note.

Keep it nice guys.

Al

Originally Posted by ozwinner

On that note.

Keep it nice guys.

Al

In the military, we called this a preemptive strike.

rayc what you are saying is somewhat true. BUT

was that nice enough ?

Now this is not directed at rayc .....

Why is it that you never hear about violence against men ?
Why is it that WE have to suck it up and be treated like modern day lepers ?
Why is it that a male cannot be seated next to an unaccompanied minor on QANTAS flights ?
Why is it that more money is spent on womens health than mens ? (Just as many men die from testicular cancer as women do from breast cancer)
Why is it that Australia has the highest incidence of male suicide in the world ?
Why is it that in order to be a man we have to be more like women ?
Why is it that you never hear about women assaulting children ? Believe me it happens.

Why is it that one negative inference directed to a minority group is sexist, racist, biggotry, discriminatory etc but when directed to an Australian male it's ok ?

The pendulum needs to swing back to the centre where EVERYONE is treated and seen the same.

The real question ....

Why is it that we sit there and cop this abuse and do nothing about it ?

Why ? Maybe because we are doing what we are told to do and that is "suck it up", "be a man", "stop complaining" or maybe we have already been effectively castrated.

ps. What kind of people or society are we going to have when we say a male, even a 5 times grandfather cannot smile or wave to a child in an open place. Maybe we will teach the kids that all males are pedophiles and cannot be trusted (which is clearly not true) ? What kind of human interaction will there be then ?

What will the suicide rate be when men feel that they are no longer respected and are treated as though they are worthless ?

Oh wait, we are already well and truly on our way.

I'll put the box away now

Why is it that we sit there and cop this abuse and do nothing about it ?

Because that's what we have been taught to do. Everyone gets a fair run except us but I'm actually OK with that. I can't help what other people think about me, so I don't let it get to me. I try to be non-threatening when I'm around women and kids I don't know. I have empathy for how they feel, even if I think they are wrong to feel that way. It's just our lot in life, like when our grandfathers were young their lot was to go and die in a ditch for King and country.

The trade off is that we get to have sheds and tools and footy and cricket and beer. There's always an upside, you just have to look for it. They mightn't trust us but they almost expect us to act like 15 year olds.

Every one of us gets to wear a label. Before you complain how bad it is to be labelled a white male think about other peoples labels.. male of middle eastern background.... young asian male or god forbide a female!!!
We don't have it that bad do we?

think about other peoples labels

The difference is they all have lobby groups and support groups and whatever other groups to fight against discrimination. Some of them even have legislation to support them.

For instance, did you know that 'aboriginality' is a recognised job requirement under the anti-discrimination act which actually makes it legal for an employer to discriminate against non-indigenous job seekers?

Who's out there to make sure 40 year old white males can get jobs easily huh? No one, that's who!!

But then I guess we don't need it, ain't that right?

Originally Posted by old_picker

.It is sad that you can't interact with kids in public like this but just think of the kid who was raped and murdered in a shopping center in Melbourne a few short months ago. This encounter possibly started off with an innocent smile which invited the attentions of the monster who perpetrated this horrific crime. There is a good reason for parents to be suspicious of people interacting with their kids in shopping centers.

Yet still about 90% of abuse cases are not perpetrated by the random stranger in the shopping centre, but by either a trusted family member, family friend or "Comunity Elder"...

Yet all men in public are treated like lepers,

PS> Statistics created using the PIOMA Method

The poor forgotten underclass - middle age white males.
Don't worry come the revolution brother ......

Originally Posted by Gra

Yet all men in public are treated like lepers,

Mate I'm not treated as a leper.

Until there is no childhood abuse from males you can't expect society to be relaxed about it. You can't just expect to be trusted as a stranger by every mother ( and father ) because you know that you don't have a problem.
You are not being judged by society because you are male, you are being judged because you are a stranger and its a scary world full of sick people.
I find myself being defensive of my kids when there is a male (and sometimes females) I don't know around them, I think its a primoidal response more than a cultural one.

Originally Posted by Bleedin Thumb

Mate I'm not treated as a leper.

Until there is no childhood abuse from males can you expect society to be relaxed about it. You can't just expect to be trusted as a stranger by every mother ( and father ) because you know that you don't have a problem.
You are not being judged by society because you are male, you are being judged because you are a stranger and its a scary world full of sick people.
I find myself being defensive of my kids when there is a male (and sometimes females) I don't know around them, I think its a primoidal response more than a cultural one.

My point is it isnt usually the strangers you have to worry about....

Originally Posted by Gra

My point is it isnt usually the strangers you have to worry about....

Agreed, but the human mind doesn't work like

"Ok he's a stranger so I can trust him" or
"I know that bloke... get away from my kid"