Thread: Dads making kids eat....

I reckon its all in the Men's Book of Things a Father Should Do.( Herald & Weekly Times 1942)
I was guilty of it.......but my kids, now in their forties just take the mickey out of it.
I dunno where it comes from, but I've seen the most unlikely "caring" fathers......Mullet...Tatts......3 teeth.....all do it.
There's a book in this one.

And at least its better than toilet fresheners

Sounds like my father

I didn't turn out to bad, but I have softened my approach with my kids. You are right, it doesn't work at the time, but does sink in over time - not sure that is a good thing though. I like to think I am not as bad as my father, but I know I'm a cranky old b..... and still yell way too much Unfortunately, as much as we don't want to turn out like our fathers, we often do.

Have you discussed it with your other half? Does he know he is even doing it, some don't . Ask what he is trying to achieve, discuss the goal posts, then discuss alternatives. Dont just say he is doing the wrong thing, that doesn't work.

Sorry I don't have any more detailed answers.

Originally Posted by dai sensei

Have you discussed it with your other half? Does he know he is even doing it, some don't . Ask what he is trying to achieve, discuss the goal posts, then discuss alternatives. Dont just say he is doing the wrong thing, that doesn't work.

Sorry I don't have any more detailed answers.

Well yes. We have discussed it. He even agrees with me to a certain extent. But then does it again. He just seems to stress out more than me. I just think you need to demons-straight what you want him to do. That's what happens anyway. But just learns to be grumpy at meal times and stress out.

Tea Lady my kids learn't all about the starving ethiopians if they didn't eat ,now the grand kids drive me batty when they turn there nose up at stews fritters, puddings i tell em i would like to sit them beside some ethiopian kids at meal time the rules at the table when i was a child were if you take it you eat it ,too bad if your eyes were bigger then your belly and no desert if you didn't eat your first course , though Mum used to relent often .Lloyd

We didn't do the Ethiopian routine at all, we just had the rule that absolutely no one left the table until the last one finished eating. We used to call the youngest lightning on account of how slow she was, but these days at 19 she eats everything and at about the same pace. Far better than the days when you finished a third of the way into her eating time.

Mind you last Christmas she confessed that she had perfected the art of slipping food to the dog as a six year old.

Primeval instinct, fear of social disapproval. Manners show one is from same tribe. Mollydookers can have a hard time of it. It must be short sentence night

My father did it . i did it and i hope my daughter does it as well.

it is part of teaching kids to eat everything on their plate and not be fussy.

I am very proud of the fact that when we go to someones place they eat whatever is dished up and never leave anything. Also they dont ask for certain thngs to be left off.

I have a lot of my kids freinds come here, when you ask them if they want to stay for tea they either leave half of the meal on their plate or when you are dishing it up they say i dont have peas, carrots, pumpkin or something like that.

it is only by making/teaching them to eat the lot that they learn that whatever is dished up to them should be eaten and appreciated.

maybe try the other angle of attack and dont let "the boy" eat anything for at least an hour before meals and also dish up meals at an early time before they he gets tired and cant concentrate on his meal.

i had a freind (in Berrigan) that used to dish up tea when the kids got off the bus at 4.30 and they always ate all of it and then they were allowed to eat whatever they wanted afterwards - worked for them and they never had any problem getting them to eat it all up.

It is part of teaching kids manners and respect. something that has been totally lacking of late in todays youth.

my rant off

Originally Posted by Calm

My father did it . i did it and i hope my daughter does it as well.

it is part of teaching kids to eat everything on their plate and not be fussy.

I am very proud of the fact that when we go to someones place they eat whatever is dished up and never leave anything. Also they dont ask for certain thngs to be left off.

I have a lot of my kids freinds come here, when you ask them if they want to stay for tea they either leave half of the meal on their plate or when you are dishing it up they say i dont have peas, carrots, pumpkin or something like that.

it is only by making/teaching them to eat the lot that they learn that whatever is dished up to them should be eaten and appreciated.

maybe try the other angle of attack and dont let "the boy" eat anything for at least an hour before meals and also dish up meals at an early time before they he gets tired and cant concentrate on his meal.

i had a freind (in Berrigan) that used to dish up tea when the kids got off the bus at 4.30 and they always ate all of it and then they were allowed to eat whatever they wanted afterwards - worked for them and they never had any problem getting them to eat it all up.

It is part of teaching kids manners and respect. something that has been totally lacking of late in todays youth.

my rant off

Here Here

Originally Posted by tea lady

Why is it that Dads turn into Victorian era fathers at meal times. For some reason when we sit down to dinner HWMBO gets exchanged for that father out of seven little Australians. (You know! That really grumpy general. )

Sounds all too much like me with my 3yr old, I've gotta change my ways . I think it's that Dad's don't have the patience that Mum's do.

Originally Posted by tea lady

Why is it that Dads turn into Victorian era fathers at meal times. For some reason when we sit down to dinner HWMBO gets exchanged for that father out of seven little Australians. (You know! That really grumpy general. ) Then he starts going about Small boy not sitting up straight and not eating his dinner, and not eating his crusts, and how people are staving in Africa and stuff. All the same stuff that my dad use to go on about to me and my Brothers. It never worked. Why do they do it?

I thought someone here might have the answer. (I thought you might have an insider's perspective. ) Has anyone here used the "there are people starving in Africa" line, and their kid has actually started eating? I keep trying to suggest that going on about meal times is just going to end up giving Small Boy an eating dissorded, but he still just gets all wound up about crusts and forks in the wrong hand.

WHAT AM I TO DOOOOOOOOOOO??????????????????????

take a deep breath and RELAX
I haven't done the starving Biafrians yet, but a few times I've moved the plate out of reach and waited for the undesired behaviour to cease


as to fork in "wrong hand" define "right hand"
my niece is right handed but eats left handed on account of mirroring her mother as a small child
as long as the food goes down the throat and stays in the tummy, who cares which hand they use?

but posture is more important than you think
about the only times a kid sits at a table is to eat and at school
poor posture will translate into poor pen holding and then difficulty with writing


but what would I know — most days I'm the "best dad in the world"



ian

Originally Posted by Waldo

I think it's that Dad's don't have the patience that Mum's do.

No, it's left up to fathers to do, either because the mothers don't have a clue or they would rather take the easy option and not have to deal with it and the usual repercussions from ever-mouthy offspring.

My father did it, I did it and my son currently does it. We all kicked against the pricks at the time, but have grown to recognise the value of our fathers' words and that they cared enough to instil some moral decorum in us.

I ranted at my kids too, but my then Missus didn't agree.One kid cleaned the plate, but the other was an extremely fussy eater.Now she eats anything put in front of her.

A good put down that I heard once when a kid was being told about the starving Ethiopians was "Oh yeah, then name one!!"

Woodwould has it right. Teach them some manners, some respect for the work that has gone into the dinner, and respect for the right of other diners (ie, DAD!) to eat a meal in relatively civilised circumstances.

Stop taking the soft way out, and you'll build better children.

Originally Posted by Ron Dunn

Teach them some manners, some respect for the work that has gone into the dinner, and respect for the right of other diners

oh no, I think I'm turning into my dad too,
my approach when mine were younger (4-7) was to turn it into a game, one night we'd pretend we were invited to dinner at brittney spears house (my 7 year old daughters fav at the time) that made her sit up straight and chew with her mouth closed.
other times we pretended we were eating with (....insert name of footy team my son didn't like...) and he ate like an animal. they got the idea...

oh yeah, every now and then invite their friends for a feeding frenzy, cook up a huge pot of spaghetti and sauce, pour it on a (clean) plastic covered table outside, then they eat it with their hands behind their back. then hose em all down, great fun.
next time invite their friends for a formal dinner.
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