Thread: What single mothers will do!!

It always comes back to, "There but for the grace go I" reiterated as "judge not lest ye be judged yourself"and I'm not a botherer either just believe right is right and good is good.......as Bob stated "well said Richard".

The problem with stereotypes is that there are never all encompassing. They are generally a fair proportion of the group addressed but rarely the majority.

My aunt is a single mum as a result of cancer which took my uncle. While he was alive he paid more than enough tax and so does his family now. Im happy to help her and those like her, even if it means there are those who may take advantage of the system.

PS. My wife stays at home and I ride her for that. But she left me with the 3 children for 3 days when she went to Canberra. A handfull to say the least, and Im just talking about the housework over a long weekend.

To all the single parents out there, keep up the good work, I know its no where near an easy ride. I cant see how anybody can think $500 a week to live is easy street (and this is more than they actually get).

First and foremost i am not against people recieving assistance from the govt!!!!

However, whilst Richard puts up a compelling argument and also produces a great number of very valid points, my point is thus.

As far as i concerned people are entitled to every single piece of govt assistance if they find themselves in a predicament caused through no fault of their own....i would even be willing to pay a little more if i knew the money were to go to these people.
All my goodwill, compassion and sympathy goes to these people and if they needed a shoulder to cry on, a kind word or simply someone to just sit there and listen ......yep i would be up for that too.

Sadly, my well of goodwill, compassion and sympathy finds itself rather dry when some of the people CHOOSE to stay at home indulging in their favorite pursuit or pastime, wether that be their hobby or their personal dream, rather than use their time constructively through paid work.
I dont really care wether someone is working behind the counter at the local deli or working out how to land a man on mars during school hours.....the point is that they are doing some work so that when they sit at home to follow their dream, they can do so with just a hint of justification and the knowledge that at least they tried and earnt some of the handouts the govt bestows on them.

I agree, living on $500 a week isnt akin to living in luxury, but hey that is very near the basic wage and people have to work for 40 hours to get it...for whatever reason, no kids, pride etc.
I would prefer that the handouts go to those people cos at least they are out there having a go.

I would love to be able to stay at home and follow my dream,im sure that there are others, but instead i choose to work so that i might be able to have the finances to indulge myself in pursuit of that dream some years down the track.
Maybe i am the fool and all i need is to find a sucker that is prepared to support me and mine whilst i follow my dream........i would say the Australian taxpayer.....but he/she is already taken.

Im sorry gentlemen i simply dont agree.

I don't know about it all to be honest, as we don't get ACA here. We do get NHK though.

What I do worry about is someone who is really, truly and genuinely stuck is going to get caught with some kind of clamp down on 'the system'.

Someone who is just too lazy to bother trying work, I don't know. Is shooting them too bad? Oops, they took them bangsticks away, so battered to death with a lettuce leaf? I have zero time or tolerance for that kinda person.

But, and there is ALWAYS a but, there will appear to be someone who just won't work when the truth is that for one reason or another can't.

I wont go into any personal sob stories of my own. No need really, I turned out ok.

Fix it, but don't foul it up in the process. It's a fine line, and better to have someone milking it than someone who needs the help not getting it.

You guys are Barry Crockers. And you must be either watching too much ACA or Today Tonight or listening to Lawsy or Jonesy or have too much time on you hands because you are spending it spying on your neighbours!!

I used to work in Centrelink and the cold hard fact is that Sole Parents (male or female) who abuse the system are in the absolute minority - make no bones about that. Women who want to get pregnant for the sake of money are in the absolute minority - make no bones about that either. Most women and men pursue child birth first and foremost because they want a family - the potential income generation provided by the birth of a child is an absolute afterthought - make no bones about that either, either!!!

Everyone has the ability to quote on someone they know ripping off the system - big deal. How many people do you know who aren't ripping off the system? The majority of people you know I suspect. Unless you want to be pedantic - tell us about your log book you complete for your tax each year.

For the record - aside from running a couple of small businesses - I'm the home dad, and I would never ever (the 'ever' is for emphasis) begrudge a person who wanted to stay out of the workforce until their youngest reaches school. What sort of society is it that values work and money over family? A person at home is so much more valuable than child care - end of story!

Rant off - or maybe not - maybe the rant is always on

It's nice to see people agreeing that disagreeing with each other is ok.

Richard - well written.

Cheers
Wendy

Richard and namtrac are absolutly right single parents that have kids to rort the system are a very small minority.
I've been a single dad now for about 8 years now and for nearly all that time Ive worked, at least part time, it is simply not possible to live and bring up kids on the pension without another source of income.
The majority of my friends are also either single parents or on disability pensions and all of them bar none do over 15 hrs per week work, paid or volunteer. Thats another point, what will places like lifeline and vinnys do when all there volunteers are forced to do paid work? Ask for more government handouts. Makes the whole argument seem stupid to me.

As far as there being "suburbs of single mums" this isn't true, what we do have is good suburbs where the rich live and crap areas where the poor people live cause thats the only place they can afford to live. The more poor people you cram into one area the less hope any of them have of gaining the self esteem to actually get out and do somthing worth while.

I think the whole single parent ripping off the system issue is just another
thing the govt has thrown out there to distract us from the real issues like foriegn debt and pointless wars.

Both my wife and I work full time while our 2 year old son is in child care all week. While in care he:

• eats well (often better than his parents);
• has a structured day of events;
• has access to developmental facilities (eg play equipment, toys, books);
• socialises with a range of children of his own age and other ages, learning to communicate, be assertive and share; and
• is building up his immune system up before getting to school age

While we are both at work we are earning a bit extra to save up for private schooling and maybe university or perhaps kick start him in his own trade or other area of interest. We might even pay our mortgage early and leave a decent inheritance for him.

He is a happy, healthy boy who is gets on suprisingly well others his own age. He seems fairly normal to me, and I am very hard to impress. )

Namtrak - I also don't begrudge the stay-at-home parents. I have been at home alone with my boy enough to be convinced that it is a noble and demanding role. However, I'm with Maglite. I don't buy the "A person at home is so much more valuable than child care" guff. I know some stay-at-home mums with great kids, but I also know enough stay-at-home mums who are barely coping. Some parents just don't have the skills or stamina despite their best intentions. Child care centres at least have standardised skills and training in raising kids.

Can you honestly say you don't know of at least one person who is dysfunctional despite having at least one parent always at home for them during their childhood?

What pee's me of is that the government will give you $3,000 to new mothers for having a baby (single or partnered),which would indicate that they are promoting making babys.
so we have some teen girls stupidly thinking that's a lot of money, so they go into production and make their pocket money.
Then we have just the average couple who have a baby in one system then all of a sudden the rules change and youve had your $3000 pat on the back now your being told by some idiot that you have no choice you have to bung your little precious into childcare .(who knows what the side effects of that is going to be long term) or who is looking after them.
Many country towns like the one i live in don't have any bus transport to speak of, it would take 1 1/4 hrs one way to travel to work, there is absolutely no childcare facility and no one who will look after children within a 30min radius in the opposite direction to the work area.
But don't worry we will all *****, moan and complain, but none of us will do anything, do you know why? because we are all so poor we couldn't organise to much of a protest because we also don't have the inclination because we have been demoralised for so long we don't have the guts to stand up and unite and tell them NO even though we do have the power we have forgotten how to use it. Thousands of people would protest years ago, and now if the petrol prices rise we just whinge , we do everything we are told like puppets, Gee they must have a laugh when they are pulling our strings.

I don't like the idea of my taxes going to people who are scrounging but I know from personal experience that not everyone who is on income support expected to be there and not everyone who is there has access to the resources needed to get back to work without assistance..

I went back to work when my son was 8 months old.

Before then I was on the social as I lost my job ( the rules at the time in the uk said you had to work for the same employer for just over 2 years and I only managed just under 2 years).

My partner who had been so desperate that I not have an abortion jacked his job in a few months into my pregnancy and saved precisely nothing before the birth and had no intention whatsoever ( despite his promises) of contributing financially after the birth. If you want to know what embarassment is pay for milk in the supermarket with milk tokens and listen to everyone else in the queue making rude remarks about you.

I lied to the bank and said that I was on maternity leave and got a mortgage holiday so that they wouldn't foreclose on the loan leaving me homeless. I used my small savings to make payments to try and keep the debt from blowing out too much.

I put my name down for a nursery place before I even looked pregnant and when I reached the top of the list ended up paying for the place for 2 months ( thanks to my mum) before I could find a job which I could actually get to within the hours the nursery was open. If I didn't take the place I went back to the end of the list ( around 16 months wait!! ).

I can really sympathise with those parents who want to work but would end up worse off with travel costs, having to wear nice clothes etc - that's if they can find a job that doesn't change your hours on a whim.

My employer then moved 150 miles and I couldn't get a local job and had to move too. All of a sudden no friends, no family. It was the pits.

I can see no reason why parents of school age children shouldn't work at least part time - if there are jobs to be had. The system should recognise the obstacles. In the UK at one time you had to prove you had childcare available to prove you were looking for work - but who on social can afford to pay for childcare if they haven't got a job ( not everyone has a mum like mine ). And then a whole raft of benefits had a 16 week waiting period so if you got a job for a month you then went without for the next 16 weeks. How dumb is that.

Please do not take offence

but

What would you have done 50 years ago?

(You most probably would not have become pregnant. Thats the problem these days)

There are some people who cheat on Unemployment benefits. They are in the minority.
There are some people who cheat on Supporting Mothers benefits. Minority.
There are people who cheat on the Invalid pension. Minority.
Some people who take picture on Bondi beach are paedophiles. Minority.
Some cops deal drugs. Minority.
The list is virtually endless.
So what's the answer? By the looks of a lot of the preceeding posts it's a case of adjusting everything down to the lowest common denominator.
The original post seems to discount the possibility that the majority of the people on such benefits are just people who are having a hard time.
For a single mother to be able to work she will have to find $300 per week for child care.
If she lives in rented accommodation, which she almost certainly is, she will probably have to find at least another $200 per week for rent.
If the people who complain about the bludgers on welfare are consistent then they will probably insist on her being in a health fund. $25 per week.
Gas, phone, electricity, water, contents insurance. Lets be conservative at $25 per week.
$550 out of her net salary and we haven't even started talking about food, clothing and transport costs. No way can she afford to own a car.
Then we have to take into account the fact that when the employment laws are changed after the new senators take office in July there will be many employers who will be getting rid of full time employees and taking on part timers. I don't suppose it has escaped too many peoples notice that the reason why we supposedly have full employment is that we now have up to 3 people doing part time/casual, what used to be done by one person full time. So I don't like the chances of that single mother getting a job that would even cover her rent.
As for stopping the lower classes from multiplying, it's been tried before.

Oh, I forgot another minority. People who don't cheat on their tax. Fix that little problem and the government will be rolling in dough. Who wants to put their hand up first.

The minority of single mothers are not avoiding having babies.

Im sure to offend someone but its not my intention. Just my opinion, and we've all got them.

Full time child care, however good it may be, is not the equivalent of a stay at home parent. Child care has its benefits, but to say that it is better than a parent sounds like someone is kidding themselves.

Don't start posting stories about bad parents, I know they exist, just like the child care centre who cares mainly how to rip the dollar away from the parent and pay their workers a pitance.