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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    2,947

    Default I should feel bad but I don't.

    We have all heard of the apprentice being sent to the store for striped paint, a left handed screwdriver etc - be careful of a left handed circular saw as Makita actually used to make one.

    A while back I ordered a pizza, it was made and cooked, just as the operator was about to cut it I interrupted, I asked if it could be cut into 6 pieces instead of 8 as I didn't think I could eat 8.

    There was a very pregnant pause and stunned look followed by a blustering flood of words to the effect of - the company's policy was 8 and could not be changed.

    I had been caught by my own joke which obviously flew very high over the operator's head. I agreed that the person could cut it into 8 as I didn't want them to be in trouble for not following company policy.

    Not sure if it was a case of hearing but not listening or indoctrination.
    Regards,
    Bob

    Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Minbun, FNQ, Australia
    Age
    66
    Posts
    12,881

    Default

    Straight through to the keeper I reckon.
    Cliff.
    If you find a post of mine that is missing a pic that you'd like to see, let me know & I'll see if I can find a copy.

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Sunbury, Vic
    Age
    84
    Posts
    2,713

    Default

    I would not feel bad either. We seniors or near seniors have to have our fun. o
    Tom

    "It's good enough" is low aim

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Parkside - South Australia
    Age
    45
    Posts
    3,316

    Default

    I was with a mate at the deli in the supermarket when he asked for a stick of kabana. As is often the case the deli assistance asked if she could break it in half ..... my mate quickly responded that he would prefer if it was sliced lengthways instead . This too was lost on her!
    Now proudly sponsored by Binford Tools. Be sure to check out the Binford 6100 - available now at any good tool retailer.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
    Posts
    3,339

    Default

    I was in Woollies the other day at the deli counter, and told the lass there that the chickens were no good, she asked "why was that" I replied "cos they're stuffed" went straight over the top of her, but another lass quite a bit older, laughed as she got the joke.
    Younguns have no sense of humour

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    ACT
    Age
    84
    Posts
    2,579

    Smile

    Hi.
    Yea we should some times be ashamed of our selves. I went into a chemist and a lass was helping me decide which Strepsils' I needed. I asked her if she knew what was wrong with you if your nose ran and your feet smelt, she said she did not know so I told her "you are upside down", she gave me a polite smile and a blank look and then the penny suddenly dropped and she roared with laughter. We were being closely watched by the other girls and when she was finished with me they wanted to know what was so funny and as I went out the door they all broke into laughter at the mental picture of a pare of feet sniffing and a nose jogging along.
    Regards
    Hugh

    Enough is enough, more than enough is too much.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Bendigo Victoria
    Age
    80
    Posts
    16,560

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KBs PensNmore View Post
    .........
    Younguns have no sense of humour
    They are conditioned to be prompted to laugh by the canned laughter track on TV, when that is missing they don't know when someone said something funny.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Cranbourne West
    Age
    72
    Posts
    3,612

    Default

    In the days when you had to sign the back of your credit card I once signed mine with a texta pen as I was sick of the biro ink smudging. At a supermarket one day whilst checking my signature the young lass gave me a funny look at seeing such a thick signature. I explained to her that they wouldn't allow me anything sharp where I lived. Blank stare, no smile, nothing.
    To grow old is inevitable.... To grow up is optional

    Confidence, the feeling you have before you fully understand the situation.

    What could possibly go wrong.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Not far enough away from Melbourne
    Posts
    4,200

    Default

    I was buying a USB extension cable.

    The young shop assistant asked "How long do you want it?"

    Naturally being me, I replied "Actually I want to keep it."

    He looked at me with a blank stare, raised his voice slightly, obviously assuming I was deaf, and responded "I SAID - HOW LONG DO YOU WANT IT?"

    Well at least I tried to inject some humor into his miserable day

    Cheers

    Doug
    I got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    lower eyre peninsular
    Age
    74
    Posts
    3,578

    Default

    One of the businesses I work with has a team of attractive young lasses, one day there was a new girl on board, I was introduced and made some comment about her beautiful hair, one of the long established lasses leans over to her and says, "dont worry he's not a dirty old man just senile" I resemble that remark.
    I enjoy flirting with them and think from their responses they enjoy it also, at least I'am harmless not like their hormone raging, pimple nosed little idiotic male friends.
    I would love to grow my own food, but I can not find bacon seeds

  12. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Sutherland Shire, Sydney
    Age
    71
    Posts
    1,301

    Default

    When asked 'are you all right?', my usual answer is 'no, I'm half left'.
    Get some funny looks sometimes.

    Alan...

  13. #12
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Woodstock (Cowra)
    Age
    74
    Posts
    3,373

    Default

    Bunnings assistant (BA): Need a hand"

    Me: No thanks, got one on each arm

    or

    Put on shocked look on face and reply: I didn't know I'd lost one

    or

    No thanks, don't have a third arm

    or

    I think I would look strange with 3

    BA: How you going?

    Me: By car

    BA (thinks hard for a come back): What sort?

    Me: A reliable one

    Coles checkout chick: Flyby's?

    Me: Usually plane
    The person who never made a mistake never made anything

    Cheers
    Ray

  14. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Mornington Peninsula
    Posts
    2,741

    Default

    All Dad jokes I see. Now I know why my kids groan when ever I tell a joke.

    The sad part is, that I think they are funny...

  15. #14
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Not far enough away from Melbourne
    Posts
    4,200

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rwbuild View Post
    Bunnings assistant (BA): Need a hand"

    Me: No thanks, got one on each arm
    True Story...

    Bunnings Assistant: Can I help you?

    Me: Hi, I am looking for a 5/8" drill bit to make a hole in some mild steel.

    Bunnings Assistant: Here, this will do it. (hands me a 5/8 wood auger bit and grins)

    Me: Thanks heaps. (continues to look at the drill bits)

    Bunnings Assistant: Can I help you with anything else?

    Me: No thanks, thats all.

    Bunnings Assistant: Have a nice day, let me know if you need anything else. (walks off)

    Fast Forward two weeks......

    Same Bunnings Assistant: Can I help you?

    Me: (shaking head in despair) I seriously F*(k!#g doubt it.

    Cheers

    Doug
    I got sick of sitting around doing nothing - so I took up meditation.

  16. #15
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Location
    Murray Bridge SA
    Posts
    3,339

    Default

    I'd have to agree with you there Doug, the intelligence of some of the staff there, certainly leaves a lot to be desired.
    Quite often I go there, only cos the other half wants to get some weeds there, and wander in the tool section, more often than not, I help some of their customers, cos the staff don't know what or how to fix it. Sometimes I even send the customer to Mitre 10 as they have the item the customer is looking for.
    Kryn

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