The search for meaning...

[Wild Dingo]

Gidday Kerry and all
Id thought of taking a laptop but well I figured since theyre 110volts and were 240volts id fry anything I tried to charge over there so gave it a miss... I'll use the computer at whoevers place I stop over at theyre all flamin computer geeks over there

Will definantly be getting a good camera with a waterproof case since many of me US mates have boats that I will give a hoot of a time to rippin about in so it may get a tad wet

How am I travelling now?... yeah sorta happy tinged with sadness I guess that its got to this but sorta happy to turn the page and start something new getting away for a few months to a place far far away will help turn the page and make the choices I have to make when I return clearer and hopefully a tad easier to make.

Ive sorted everything I have left out so I'll be distributing pretty much all of it to the kids before I leave, will keep the remaining tools down at my sisters in Albany while Im gone till Tiffany and Ben get their shed up at their new house then on my return we'll head down and bring it up to store there till I settle wherever I end up... Im planning on going on or about the 30 April as everything should be sorted and done by then... returning 3 months later... still tossing up if I should come back here or over east but will figure that as I go along

Its not easy its not happy as such it just is and as Im getting "better" and while theres no way of contact between her and I Ive got a good chance to sort things for myself... so Im taking it with both hands!

Cheers
Shane

[Johncs]

Gidday Kerry and all
Id thought of taking a laptop but well I figured since theyre 110volts and were 240volts id fry anything I tried to charge over there so gave it a miss...
Cheers
Shane

Not so fast young Shane. If you actually look at the lapstops, you might find that they're compatible. They are made for travellers, after all.

At worst, you might need a charger for the USA.

Just make sure you get a decent screen, most of the cheapies around the place have terrible screens. I bought an Acer Aspire because it was cheap and it was also terrible.

Check out a Mac, they're easy to use, immune to Windows viruses (unless you run Windows on one), and probably have almost all the software you need, including iphoto to talk to your camera.

Add openoffice.org for word processing (free download), firefox for an alternative web browser (another free download) and Bob's your uncle.

[masoth]

Unless you have a lot of use in mind requiring a computer I'd not bother to carry a laptop. Instead, I'd visit an 'Internet Cafe" when you wanted to make contact or check stuff. They are pretty cheap, I think - not that I know USA opportunities.

soth

[Wild Dingo]

Im pretty much of the same frame of mind soth... but Im intending on getting a mac when I get back... so your both bein helpfull cheers!!

I'll be getting a good slr/digital camera before I go and take copious amounts of pics which apparently I can get put onto cd (or whatever) and send that down to my daughter every so often... like a running picture gallery of where Ive been... also gotten a couple of journals to write about everything again they will be send to my daughter every so often hopefully I remember to sorta sequence the pics with the words but its probably unlikely knowing me

I want to say thanks to everyone for walking along this horrendous journey over the last 13 months... your support encouragement and belief in me and a future has been something very special to me and some of my kids who read it... youve helped keep me going in a true sence so thank you The physical help that I recieved with the yard was an incredible help the phone calls pms and emails have been essentially life savers several times

So a hearty warm thank you to all of you

Cheers
Shane

[Cliff Rogers]

OK Ding, when are you going to write that book?

[ficfac]

Hi Shane,

My wife has suffered severe depression and anxiety. For several years she couldn't even work or really relate to people in general. Lots of crying and self doubting. She's come a long way now, but still on the mend.

I'm late to this thread but can relate to some of your experiences and thoughts. I really hope things work out for you.

Communication, as you've no doubt noticed, is one of the best forms of therapy.

There's always positive things in life, just sometimes they're hard to see. Keep looking and all will be revealed.

Good luck, and mission on!

Josh.

[Wild Dingo]

OK Ding, when are you going to write that book?

First edition first publication after I get back and sort it all out into something sorta legible and intelligent... well as good as it gets for me! Thinkin something along the lines of "Dingo does Seattle" followed by "Dingo does Dallas" followed closely by "Dingo does Florida" followed by... Could be a whole line of "Dingo does ..." books in the pipeline

Thinking some sort of travel guide with pics? Aussie version Aussie lingo by an Aussie for the Aussie... ala mucha da Aussie lingo

An adventure book? a mystery? mmmm that has possibilities eh

Plan is to do the trip come back buy a mobile home/caravan and travel for a bit writing it as I wander then publish meanwhile taking notes photos an such for an Aussie version ala "Dingo does Minbun" "Dingo does Toowoomba" and so on... could be a winner eh

.........................................................................................................

Sorry to hear about the missus Josh... terrible thing and I hope she gets right as time moves on... Im taking each day as it comes and within that each hour as it comes cause it can and does change that quick But you would know that through your own experiences with your missus I honestly hope she comes through eventually better than she ever was happier more vivacious more beautiful and more loving than even you remember.

Communication IS THE MOST important thing of anything at all without it were stuffed... even then we need to be HONEST WITH EACH OTHER! and not hold back what we feel desire need want or hope for the future.


Cheers
Shane

[Calm]

"Dingo does Seattle" followed by "Dingo does Dallas" followed closely by "Dingo does Florida" followed by... Could be a whole line of "Dingo does ..." .............................


Cheers
Shane

If you find a freind/travel companion look for Debbie - she already did the film "Debbie does Dallas" so she could give you some pointers.

Cheers & good luck , just reading your posts is an uplifting event for the day.

[ficfac]

Thanks Shane.

All will be well. I have faith and the truth will prevail!

Cheers,

Josh.

[LogDog]

I dont get a moments peace from it... seriously... night and day its all I think about... her... I wonder how one stops loving someone youve shared so many years with had so many children with and enjoyed so many adventures and love with? Ive no idea!! Some people seem to be like a tap you know? they seem to be able to turn the tap of their feelings off when it suits them... or rather they must force whatever good feelings they have for the other person into some deep dark hole inside them every time they raise themselves and they "feel" for the other... Im buggared if I can do that!! Stuffed if I can!

My younger brother (recent divorcee) tells me I NEED to "get back on the horse" and get with another woman... yeah right... theres no other woman that I even remotely see as interesting or someone Id like to share time with OTHER THAN JO!!!...

Sounds like Im mopin about like some lovesick puppy eh? but really Im fine as all get out and keeping as busy as I can... Just missing my wife is all... funny I keep seeing things I know she would like and think "I'll get that for her" then I realize I cant do that as it wouldnt be appreciated so I dont I see some roses or such and think "damn she would have to like those" but dont get them knowing she wouldnt want them... I simply cant think of what to do about this situation thats all Im buggared if I know! Sometimes I see her and shes friendly and theres that old look of care and love in her eye but somethings said by either of us and its gone as fast as it came... other times theres nothing not a thing in her eyes...

The fact is You have no power over how other people feel and you can not make people be happy. By rights they have no power over how you feel unles you let them. Call it coldness if you like I call it self protection. The ideal is to be so centered in your own hapiness and perfection that even if someone you love is putting you down your emotions do not decline to the negative. When you have this true and obtainable inner strength others of a simmilar positive vibration will be attracted to you and the other negative energy suckers will disappear. You do not need another person to feel good within yourself. I found looking at beautiful timber most joyous.And the freedom of the ocean most omnipotent. We are all on a journey and nothing in this reality can last forever so we must make the most of every minute we have, and this does not mean rushing around doing something to keep your mind so busy that you have no time to reflect on who you really are and what you truely feel and desire. Please read the book "The Astonishing Power of Emotions" by Esther and Jerry Hicks as I feel it will help you enormously to live more fully in the Now. Which after all, is all we have. We dont have yesterday and we don't have tomorrow we only have the power of now to help us create our futures.
May peace be yours in the deepest and most meaningfull ways.
And may we meet on the rise of the soul.
Sincerely Laura

[Wild Dingo]

Geeez Im a bloody doofus I just found this thread!!!

Okay whats happened? Well I did go to the US spent 2 glorious months wandering the EAST coast... yeah I ended up going into New York instead of Seattle dont know quite why but well thats what the voices told me was the best so thats where I went

Flew out with young Tiffany waving me off at the airport and after 10 hours landed in Narita Japan for a 7 hour layover then onto American Airlines for another wonderous 13 hours to New York... had a friend Id never met meet me at JFK and she was meant to take photos but was so damned excited to finally meet "the dingo" she took a few shots of my thongs and gave up!!

Experienced the thing called New York traffic snarl 4 hours sitting in a traffic jam!!! FLUCKADUCK!!! finally she got me to their home in Connecticut and there I stayed to recouperate and acclimatize and get some understanding of the lingo... finally convinced them I HAD to make a bloody move as she wanted me to stay for the duration anyway ended up hiring a little nissan thing for the 2 months at a pretty good cost with no excess milage and away I went

ANYWAYS this I shall continue in a blog entry soon

I got back 2 months later and decided to spend a couple of weeks with the kids and to see if anything had changed... nothing had everything exactly the same... so decided fluckthis for a joke and got young Josh into the car and my younger brother decided he had had a gut full of his issues and bundled himself in and away we went to Broome... for a holiday... four days later Id spotted a park home for sale at a better than good price for Broome and decided to have a gander made an offer adjusted it then it was accepted and I now have a park home in Broome!!! So after 4 trips to Bunbury and back and 2 to Albany and back I finally have most of my gear up here a wee 3mtr x 3mtr shed thats a bloody mess since I still havent sorted it... but a home!!!

So the last couple of months have been sorting it out for my new bachelors lifestyle and it was going great guns... then I got a call from Josh "Dad can I come live with you please? Mum and the girls are giving me a hard time here" NO PROBLEMO SON!!! and so he flew up with most of his gear well what she would let him bring and hes been here since!! settled into the school quite well and is getting into LIFE instead of sitting watching tv dvds computers and other shyte... loving it!!

I dont think of her or what happened very much nowadays occasionally it comes through and I get a bit "moody" as Josh calls it but I come through it pretty easily and simply... in all the time since I left for the states Ive had 3 episodes one in the states one in Bunbury and one here last week... bad ones that is otherwise I might think of her or what happened get a bit down but head to the beach or take the new camera and take some photos of whatever and Im right again... the bad ones take me down a fair way but again last no more than a few hours

So I think Im progressing alright... a long way to go no doubt but Im far better now that I was or would be had I not sold the house and gone to the states

I even managed to have one brief relationship with a woman... which helped in ways Im not going into but to know that someone else someone beautiful can feel warmth love and care for me was important to boost me back again... Ive started to like myself again started to appreciate that it wasnt my problem that caused it but hers and started to feel good about who I am again... she helped me with that among other things which at the time was what I needed.

Sadly although I came close no woman appeared to take me under her rich wing while in the states so no sugar momma has arrived on the scene as yet but I havent given up!!!

I am not looking for anyone and actually am very happy with being in my own space and enjoying it for what it is... Ive realized that I dont need anyone to make me complete or whole as a person nor do I want anyone as in a relationship... a bit of companionship and friendship now and again is enough

Anyway mates when I can I will get something up on the blog thing and some pics of the last several months

But Im goin well... everythings coming along as it should and I smile more now than I have in years... Ive taken control of my life my emotions and my future again... Im planning and seeing opportunities again and Im pretty happy generally speaking... well its warm!!! And THAT makes me pretty damned happy!!!

Cheers all
Shane

[masoth]

Well done, and done well. Good to hear you have the company of Josh - I had a similar experience many years ago so I understand something of your feelings. I'm looking forward, with anticipation, to your blog when you get to do it.

soth

[Pat]

Ding, remember to breath, once in while. Also short paragraphs help.

[Cliff Rogers]

Good on ya Ding, looks like you found yer old password too.

[Wild Dingo]

Good on ya Ding, looks like you found yer old password too.

yeah the ol memory sorta fades in and out from time to time

Dont worry Im tryin to memba to breathe... doin right well I am too!! Well Im still kickin so must be doin somethin right eh!!

Biggest problem is lack of sleep... just cant seem to shut my mind up! but still Ive started learning Ti Chi and doing it in the late arvo down the beach in the light of the stunning sunset seems to help a lot so just keep facin the future and breathe gently she'll be right... down times come but they fade pretty quickly as Im learning new and better ways of pushing the feelings away...

One of the reasons for coming up here was to "disassociate" myself from her... and with her strong uncompromising demand for no contact and being 2000 whatever kilometers away with nothing whatever other than Josh to remind me of her and whats happened its working... back for Chrissy then back here and no return to Bunbury till next Chrissy should more than do the trick along with getting out and meeting people again returning to work and just breathing no stress and no looking for anything other than life which is simply coming each day... actually Ive stopped meeting negative people as Ive become more and more positive so positive people have been coming into my sphere of being which is bloody brilliant!!

Life its an interesting conundrum isnt it