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  1. #31
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    Tiffany is a GEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and, Tiffany is RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I'm so glad to hear you are going to live one of your dreams The trip sounds just the ticket.



    Cheers
    Wendy

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  3. #32
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    Heeeeyyyy! Ding! All sounds great. A good way to start a new chapter of your life. Sounds like a fantastic trip. But you better help plan a BIT. No telling where you'll end up. Keep us posted. End ya better take pics..........
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  4. #33
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    What Wendy and Anne-Maria said. Have a great time!
    Cheers

    Jeremy
    If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly

  5. #34
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    I have just read this entire thread and am so glad that you are making the plans for the trip!

    You are clearly a perceptive, genuine and articulate person and I would love to hear about your travels, so keep us posted!
    Cheers,
    Shannon.

  6. #35
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    travelogue? Me??? Strewth mate Im a quiet unassumin sorta bloke me I wouldnt know how to throw ten words together me!!!

    Yeah okay I can hear all that chucklin over there

    Okay... things have been up and DOWN lately... now its done (still waiting on the lawyers) seems I cant stand being in her airspace for some reason man it gets to me!!... Ive now missed one future son in laws birthday and a major part of my little grand daughters naming day due it how I feel about her!! drives me flamin nuts that she can be so bloody happy when our marriage is so damned buggared

    So the trip thing?... changed again Im afraid seems the longer it takes to bloody go the more often it changes

    NOW the thinking is a bit more rational I think... maybe?... anyway Im planning on buying a cheep poptop caravan around 3-4K and buggar of down south do the wine tours a river cruise maybe go to the chocolate factory and the mead distillery (god that stuff is bloody addictive!!!) take about a week I guess then to Albany see my elder sis for a day or so then wander around to Esperance to Norseman and finally aim the car east along the null and bore... plan for a few days in SA wander to Vic a couple more days thinking maybe the ferry trip to Tassy might be good spend maybe a week or less there depending then back and see what Im feeling about then...

    head home or head northward... presently aiming at 2-3 weeks away but dont have any hurry until it hits about the 13th Feb this to allow 5 days travel to be back in time for Joshys birthday... unlike her I WILL NOT miss any of the younger kids or grandies birthdays! mmmm okay I have no choice but to miss one of them as her parents refuse to allow me anywhere near her due to this thing... their choice... but back in time for Josh to come stay for his birthday... still plan on leaving at this stage looks a goer for the 27th - 28th Decemeber!! YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!

    Way I see it... Im plannin on 3-4 weeks max (okay room for maybe another week there if I push it) while shes planning on being in England for 6-8 weeks and miss 3 of the kids birthdays along with one of the grandies 1st... but thats her choice I reckon since shes had 5 overseas holidays since this began along with 2 holidays down south and a long overseas one coming while Ive been to broome twice in 3 weeks back in the begining Im about due... SO I DONT GIVE A RIP WHAT SHE THINKS... IM GOING!

    Soooo... got to thinking today maybe Im doing this a bit ???? about face? I mean I could zoom over east to Tassy collect some of their fine wines then head west to SA an Vic pick up some of their fine wines then on the way home go to the south pick up a crate of mead and some fine wines along with some chocolates from the factory... mmmm bars gonna be well stocked for me birfday eh!!! of course I havent been able to do shyte in the shed so the bar still isnt even started but its gonna be well stocked!!

    mmmm reading that one might start to think Im a bit of a boozer eh? and that Im gonna spend a fair whack of $ on the good oil right?... RIGHT!!!! TOO BLOODY RIGHT!!!... sadly only reds since whites taste like vinigar to me... oooh and as much mead as I can get hold of!! GOD I LOVE THAT STUFF... but yeah theres a good budget set for the cargo holds return contents bringing plenty of towels and a couple of big esky/ice boxes to hold it all nice and safe

    Thoughts? east first or southwest first?.

    Shane

    mmmm anyone got a spare sis they want to palm of on me for a few weeks? gotta be cute small wheeled base long hair prefer non blonde (I think Im over blondes for a time) good company happy with a cheeky sence of humor and adventurous... well gotta add that cause I dont stick to the road too much!! see now yous mob thought I was thinkin of somethin else werent you? NOT I!! well mmmm okay then maybe just a teeny bit I might have... but anyway if you know of some fine young sheila who wants to hit the road for a few weeks in a comfy 4x4 and caravan... all she has to do is put up with me an give me a good laugh at least 10 times per 100 klicks I'll do the rest!!

    pm me instructions so we can meet up!!

    Well what do you mob expect!! Wendys done tooken by her spanner headed boofhead!!

    Shane!
    Believe me there IS life beyond marriage!!! Relax breathe and smile learn to laugh again from the heart so it reaches the eyes!!


  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Dingo View Post
    ..........
    Thoughts? east first or southwest first?.
    Flip a coin Shane, Heads = east, Tails = Southwest

    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Dingo View Post
    ...........Well what do you mob expect!! Wendys done tooken by her spanner headed boofhead!!

    Shane!

  8. #37
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    Mate, there's more to the East of you than to the South, and think of the potential 'meeting of Members' you could arrange.

    soth

  9. #38
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    True soth true... but now things have changed a tad... again... work has picked up!!! so Ive been told were standing down as of the 19th Dec and returning the 5th Jan... bummer for me in some ways but FANFRIGGINTASTIC in others!!

    Soooo Ive been thinking... hehehehe yeah I tend to do that (note specially after a few tipples of mead... ahem... which Ive had ) and after checkin me emails Ive recieved one from that Wicked campers mob about their campers for sale... seems I HAVE to travel to Queensland after all if I want one

    Dont know what theyre like really all ive done is whizz past them on the road... but seems theyre for sale for 6K with a guarenteed buyback within the first 12mths for 1800 plus a years comprehensive ins... bit HIGH on the miliage as youd expect (bet 200 and 400K) soooo Im thinking how quick a trip I can make to Brizzy pick one up and wander back??... mmm now if I fly over on say the 26th IF I can get a ticket of course the drive back shouldnt take more than the remaining 10 days left of the break?? unless I get stuck with yous mob of course!!

    Only person I know of thats used one is Neil from this forum... so Neil me ol sock reckon theyre worth the above price?

    At present since the times shorter its either catch the silver bird to say Adelaide and waste some time drinkin muckin about and generally making everyones reputation rather wrecked and fly back...

    or...

    Head south for a few days before Chrissy stock up on some fine choccys and wines... have Chrissy with the nippers... head back south to the mead distillery and STOCK UP BIG TIME... and wander back in time to go to work

    Am DEFINANTLY going to buy some form of decent sort of camper caravan or some such as I wont be moving back into this place after the new year but will park the watever out the back and live in that till this place is sold... either that or park it in the caravan park and come here in the evenings to clean sort and get it sold... NO FLAMIN WAY I can live here anymore... round and round and flamin round it goes every sodding day and every bloody night... so out I go!!

    Seems thats how shes been able to move through this thing with "relative" ease as shes not surrounded by it and living it all the time... and IM GOING NUTS!!!.

    Anyway views opinions and suggestions are more than welcome!!

    oooh Wendy? why the rolled eyes my girl? You know I digs yer an boofhead bein the nice bloke he is he understands

    Shane!
    Believe me there IS life beyond marriage!!! Relax breathe and smile learn to laugh again from the heart so it reaches the eyes!!


  10. #39
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    I was going too suggest buying the camper over east and driving it back. But seems that big trip is put off cos o' work. But you want to live in it after new year. You are prolly right about her being able to get over it so much sooner by being out if the house. She was prolly also working up the the move for a while, where for you it all came as a sudden shock. If you do get the camper I think it would be better to be at a caravan park than the back yard. Just that bit more removed. and may be some other people there to talk to and drive you nuts.

    Don't be too worried about birthdays. A phone call from where ever you are would be fine I reckon. It sounds a bit like you are using them to rack up points against "her". IMHO
    anne-maria.
    T
    ea Lady

    (White with none)
    Follow my little workshop/gallery on facebook. things of clay and wood.

  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by tea lady View Post

    Don't be too worried about birthdays. A phone call from where ever you are would be fine I reckon. It sounds a bit like you are using them to rack up points against "her". IMHO
    Hi tea lady... you were right on the money until this.

    Sorry but its the other way round she is turning them against me... so far there are of 8 kids only 3 left that have anything to do with me and 2 grandchildren that dont know me thanks to her.

    The only thing I want from having Christmas here is based on IF this is to be our last christmas as a family (which is more than probable) I PERSONALLY would like to have ALL the children grandchildren AND HER here at what was the family home for the final time... THAT IS ALL I WANT FROM IT... however 4 have stated flat out that they wont be here end of story and shes now saying theres no way she will be here either as she considers the house her father recently bought and gave to her as her new home and she wants it there... I HAVE NOT been asked to come.

    Okay as to the caravan camper thing... yes thats the idea to live in it present thinking is that I will stay in it here while Josh isnt here then when he comes stay in the house with him... If I stay here but dont live inside Im hoping to be able to disassociate myself enough to fix and sort it while Josh isnt here... although this will probably change and I will more than likely move into the caravan park as this place the memories the hurts the laughters the plans and love that WAS here is eating me up each and every damned day and night.

    So getting a caravan is probably more appropriate as its unknown how long it will take to sell in this real estate market here... it is a possibility that it will be a sitter for many months but on the other hand due to its location size and a few other things may well sell quick... hopefully.

    Anyway...
    Shane
    Believe me there IS life beyond marriage!!! Relax breathe and smile learn to laugh again from the heart so it reaches the eyes!!


  12. #41
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    Calm is offline Stubby Owner and proud of it. Now coming back to Earth.:D
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Dingo View Post
    Hi tea lady... you were right on the money until this.

    Sorry but its the other way round she is turning them against me... so far there are of 8 kids only 3 left that have anything to do with me and 2 grandchildren that dont know me thanks to her.

    The only thing I want from having Christmas here is based on IF this is to be our last christmas as a family (which is more than probable) I PERSONALLY would like to have ALL the children grandchildren AND HER here at what was the family home for the final time... THAT IS ALL I WANT FROM IT... however 4 have stated flat out that they wont be here end of story and shes now saying theres no way she will be here either as she considers the house her father recently bought and gave to her as her new home and she wants it there... I HAVE NOT been asked to come.

    .................................................Shane

    Shane you have me really worried about you now.

    "Anyway views opinions and suggestions are more than welcome!!" you wrote this in one of your last posts so here goes it is not going to be pretty, in fact i am known for being about as subtle as a sledge hammer, with about as much compassion at times.

    But i think you need it, possibly others are thinking it also but not going to tell you. There is no easy way to sugar coat this as you might not see what i am trying to say.

    But then again i could be wrong, this is just my opinion., as was the following opinion from the first page of your thread



    Quote Originally Posted by Calm View Post
    Ding i think I can honestly say "i know how you feel". The photo from the "get together" post shows a bloke with a kid that adores him and whose face is furrowed with worry/confusion.

    ...................................

    So Ding ol mate, their are no answers, i wouldn't give you 2 bob for a counsellor or phyc, i reckon shyte happens , that's life get over it,

    That is the hand you have been dealt ol son so deal with it. Their are no right and wrong answers just be true to yourself and do what feels right. Family and kids that is the secret. Being one of 6 kids myself and with 4 daughters i know that is where happiness is (and a lathe in the shed - even if its not a VL300) i reckon lifes not bad.

    Hope that helps - that boy is a rippa so go put your life into him. Dont spoil him just be his dad and best mate.

    ...............................................
    I think you need help Ding, sell the house go see someone and get help, go see a counsellor, psychiatrist or someone to help you. If it is the house then get out, the money doesn't matter when it comes to your health. I originally said i wouldnt give 2 bob for these people but i think you are in trouble and need help NOW.

    To me it appears you are either denying it or refusing to acknowledge it but YOU JUST DONT GET IT, you are also appearing to be paranoid.

    - You say you want it to be the last family christmas together (that was 2007 and will never happen again)
    - Ding you are not in her family anymore
    - you and her share children but you dont have a family together
    - your family is short of a female "head of state" there is only one parent in YOUR family and thats you
    - Move on, get over it, the marriage and life as 2 parents together is over, she is trying to tell you she doesnt want you in her life anymore but you are not listening.
    - You are not in "HER" family any more. That is why she wants christmas in "HER" new house with "HER" new family, a new start for "HER"
    - To say "she is turning them against me" seems paranoid to me,
    from my experience and knowledge, any parent who loves their children insists that they see both parents and try their hardest to keep their "personal thoughts" from the kids. I think you are making a big mistake/under estimating your kids if you think their mother is "running you down" in front of them and not letting them make up their own minds/decisions.

    WHAT TO DO
    - get help and i mean professional help, you are struggling with this whole seperation, end of marriage thing, see the pro's ask them for help and listen, before you go troppo over it, there is a great bloke inside that head that is struggling with the cards dealt to him and he need someone to help him get back to his normal cheerful self.

    - all your freinds here are wishing you well and wanting you to get past this stage and really enjoy life again, but you are going to need help to do that.

    - Organise your own christmas dinner/lunch/meal/gettogether, invite all of your family (not your EX wife, she's not in your family anymore) and see who turns up, dont make it a competition against your EX, if she wants christmas lunch then have tea or breakfast or a boxing day meal at your place, give them the option to go to both. Then they have to make the decision whether they turn up or not, if they dont them make sure the door is always open at your house when they are ready to talk.

    - make sure you ring each of them for their birthdays just so they know you care.

    - Keep your thoughts about their mother to yourself, dont tell the kids what you think of her. It is not a competition to see who gets the most ids at their house, your house needs to be a place they want to come too, feel comfortable in, and most of all enjoy it when they are there.

    - Do you think "YOUR" place is a "great" place when they come to see you, make sure it is.


    Good luck Ding and with no smilies i hope you can tell the caring in this post. Get help and get better.

    Cheers ol mate

    PS you can tell me to get stuffed and mind my own business if it makes you feel better.
    Last edited by Calm; 6th December 2008 at 12:09 AM. Reason: added ps
    regards

    David


    "Tell him he's dreamin."
    "How's the serenity" (from "The Castle")

  13. #42
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    David
    Thanks... the highlighted passages actually hit home.
    I dont know I guess I still hope against all hope that theres some chance... but you are right even if I cant face it yet I know that... its just well 25 years! MAN... ah well

    Will print those passages off and keep a copy in my wallet and one on the wall near the door so I see it every time I start to think... maybe?... I KNOW its over I just dont want to let go I guess.

    How one reconsiles this is beyond me!

    Sell the house? ABSOLUTELY!... buy a caravan and move into it while the house sells ABSOLUTELY!... maybe then... maybe I will be able to disassociate myself from it all if I do that?... get another life? how the bloody hell do you do that!!! move interstate? everything I love is here!!

    Anyway I have to find a way to deal with this thing... as I said thanks David

    Shane
    Believe me there IS life beyond marriage!!! Relax breathe and smile learn to laugh again from the heart so it reaches the eyes!!


  14. #43
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    Thumbs up sharing stuff on this puter

    Ok read your post..see the issues. I don't live in Oz but here in UK your local doctor has all sorts of fancy names for the way you feel. I am classed as having something similar to you..I cannot even remember the name they call it. They give me medication; paroxetine and half indrella days and zopiclone and disulpin nights.
    The night time ones are heaven sent..I can S L E E P...wonderful. I have been on these about 10 years now.

    I was 44 years old when I first noticed that I was going off the road. Now just how and why this happened is unique to everyone who finds themselves in this way. It took me a hell of a long time to work out just what the **** was going on. I think I was born like this, or maybe conditioned to be like this from the day I was born. Only a set of unfortunate life circumstances made me " break". Nature, nuture and happenstance..whatever.

    I can tell the way you write that you are not a "nugget" in cognition or emotion. I picked up a few clues as to was going on from a few radio programmes on the BBC. To me I began to make analogies to stuff I could relate with...the first one I made was to see my brain as a pickled herring...not a dead one..a live one.

    You got a lot of stuff that is really sensitive..brain tissue..in a vat of chemicals..inside your heed..

    Key words here are endorfins and stuff like adrenalin. Will continue this later..

  15. #44
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    Default continued

    People in general are scared of mental illness...yet one in five people will experience it at some point in their life. If you tell an employer most of em will run a mile..as will insurance companies.

    Sex....this is another taboo subject. We are supposed to have women who are "emancipated" yet few of 'em will ask a man out. This internet I would guess is made up of about 20% sexual based business ventures. If you forgot what a women looks like naked I can recommend sites..YouPorn and xhamster are really educational..ahem.

    Socialising....I made some fabulous friends on the internet and I think you have too. In my mind there is no better way to communicate. Sites like Craig's List are wonderful if you are looking for a partner. I never looked up "mental health groups" so I don't know if there are places where you can share as we are doing on here. I think this site is breaking new ground with this section.

    Chatrooms...I love 'em. Help me a hell of a lot. You either got the patience or you ain't. I am NEVER alone. The rooms I visit run 24/7/365 and all of 'em are in the USA.

    I can't think of anymore...anyone is welcome to email me at [email protected]

  16. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wild Dingo View Post
    David
    Thanks... the highlighted passages actually hit home.
    I dont know I guess I still hope against all hope that theres some chance... but you are right even if I cant face it yet I know that... its just well 25 years! MAN... ah well

    Shane
    Have a chat with Derek. He could put you in touch with someone in the Bunbury area. You might need to bribe him with a piece of rare Brunswick Marri or Sheoak or something, but I'm sure he'd give you some time..

    You said you used to be a counsellor. That suggests to me you can teach, Could you run some woodwork classes for TAFE at a local school?

    I have two married daughters, one of them has just produced my first grandchild. I've not suggested this yet, but I'm thinking of proposing we meet at our place New Years Eve or thereabouts to dine together and exchange gifts. This would allow them to meet with their husbands' families if hey wish, and with us too.

    You might try a similar thing with your kids, I don't see any point in fighting over the date when an easy alternative is at hand. If they can be with Mum for Christmas and Dad for another Christmas, how good is that!

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