Haven't been around for a time...

[Wild_Dingo]

So the stories of my demise are greatly exaggerated!!

Im bloody brilliant mates and matesses!! ABSOLUTELY FRIGGIN BRILLIANT!!! :2tsup:

Got no idea where this thread should be put so I'll just whack it here and the mods great people one and all can sort it!! :q

So whats been happening? Right since returning from the states as you know I put up a call for a mobile home or such... but I managed to score the score of the century here in Broome... a whopping great park home!! well okay it once was a whopping great caravan but its been bolted down to concrete pylons and the interior has been redone and theres this whopping great hard annex attached and its now officially a park home!

So Ive been busy as hell moving shyte from Australind to Broome, from Bunbury to Broome and from Albany to Broome friggin more trips back and forth than I care to think about now... but Im finally settled... the house has had some things bought to make it a home and now theres a shed out the driveway along with a patio for the car and the tools (whats left of them) are steadily making their way from the trailer to the new shed... right now Im trying to figure out how Im gonna cope with just a 3mtr by 3mtr shed!!! gawd theyre damned tiny!!... but hey I think most of it will fit... tight but fit! :2tsup:

The family situation has improved along the way... took some doing with a couple of the kids but I think theyre okay with it all now... well tuff shyte if theyre not what is is what is get over it... Ive had my 17 year old daughter staying with me for the last week which given Jac and I havent spoken since this thing started almost 2 years ago is GREAT!!! had some great yarns and shes finally talked about what shes been feeling and well now finally some home truths have been given her shes back to being my beautiful Binty bop Jacinta! god I love this girl :2tsup: 14 year old Josh has decided he wants to live with his dad so he can actually do stuff which he isnt down there things he loves doing like fishing camping BEING WARM and so on so hes moving up here the second week of the school holidays.

As to she who is never named well since being here Im steadily disassociating from her and now rarely think of her in any way neither sad angry or disappointed when I do I find other things to do and think off but its becoming rare that I even think of her... The last trip down south confirmed that even for myself that I dont want her back in my life, that I dont need her at all in my life, that she has changed considerably and the changed person isnt someone I want in my life, mind you I dont want the old her in it either... so Im content now... Im no longer worried by being alone and find Im enjoying being alone... Ive always been able to do for myself I just forgot while I was with her so now Im back on top of who I am what I want from my life and where I want to go from here on in... Im in no hurry whatever to find or be with someone after years of hurt Im taking time for me and to that extent Im best on my own... with the occasional friend with benifits cruising in!! :;

But Im up to my old self again, I smile a lot, laugh, sing, even play my guitars badly again :U I go fishing, camping, swimming (EVERY DAY!! :2tsup: ) still dont drink a lot which surprises most people I meet man theres some drinkers up here!!! have barbies every night either here at my younger sisters or a friends or down on Gantheme Pt beach at sunset... amazing place!!

Actually mates I want to say this cause so many have some weird idea that Broome has the most amazing sunsets anywhere... well theyre wrong!! Okay? WRONG!!... yes the sunsets are pretty cool especially the stairway to the moon sunsets BUT!! The best kept secret of Broome isnt the sunsets its the SUNRISES!!! Man are they ever stunning!!! ABSOFRIGGINLUTELY!!... the good thing is that most cant be bothered getting out of their beds to see it at 5.30AM... but its the best!! each day its new and different and man it gives your mind some inspiration :2tsup:

Okay... woodwork... mmm well I admit here that Ive done VERY LITTLE... actually none whatever... in many months now :doh: but well things are about to change! Ive got a new shed Ive got my tools Ive got some wood (that I really must get to do something with before the white ants do! :o ) to that end Ive got a stairway to build in the house only 3 steps but hey Im calling it a stairway just cause I can... Ive got a wall unit/divider thing Ive got to build THIS WEEK before Josh arrives to divide his room from the living room and Ive got to think of things I can make and sell at the markets... thinking if I can make and sell enough over the season I can do the grey nomad thing and wander down to Bunbury to see the kids and grandies for a few months during the wet... sounds the go!

Anyway mates and matesses just thought Id drop in and say gidday and let you all know Im breathing and doing well... and to say THANKS for all your support encouragement and honest care during the last 20 months of hell... and to let you know... LIFE IS INDEED GOOD!!! :2tsup:

Shane

[Cliff Rogers]

Good on ya Ding. :2tsup:

[tea lady]

:wave: Ding! Glad you're back on.:cool:

[munruben]

Well howdy Shane and welcome back after so long mate. Good to hear you have come to terms with everything that has happened to you over the last couple of years. its been a long road for you mate but you have reached the turning point and can now get on with your life. Its great to hear you talking like your old self and I can feel the happiness in your writing. Yeah 3x3 isn't all that big but some of the guys here don't even have that much room in their shed. I am sure you will manage and think of something to make that you can sell at the markets. The future sounds bright for you now Shane and hope it stays that way.
All the guys and gals here will all be so pleased to hear the good news.
Cheers mate and all the best for the future.. You deserve it.:2tsup::2tsup::2tsup:

[Wild_Dingo]

Wow.... okay life is awesome again... actually I think its better than its been in a heck of a long time now Ive had time to stop and just be me for awhile... takes a long time to appreciate whats happened and whats changed... and to accept that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it... its done end of story... so now Ive taken the last couple of months to reflect on the "marriage" without rose colored glassed without emotion and without any thought of memory of the "good times"... just what was... and Im pleased its happened in many ways life has turned and I thank the lucky stars Im able to see that life can and will be far better now than it ever was... just take a bit of time thats all... no problems

I think selling up and going on a long holiday (something Id never had or done before) was the turning point returning to find nothing whatever had changed in regards to her what shes doing what she wants or how she is and saying "I dont deserve this and wont accept it anymore" then turning the words her family said to her "Do what makes you happy" on myself was the crux of the change...

Its taken time and will take yet more time... and thats where Im most content... to just take the time.

Unlike my brother and others who have gone through this thing IM IN NO HURRY... I KNOW I dont need anyone in my life I dont need anyone to do my washing my cooking my anything... I KNOW I dont want anyone in my life to tell my what to do when to do it or what they want... I am content with who I am where Ive been what Ive done and where Im heading... life is in fact good.

The future is unknown... hey!! So unknown that I took Jac out to tea with some friends here tonight and during the meal one bloke said "Shane mate you look pretty cruisey what say we head to Bali for the weekend? have a rage? meet some ladies? drink some booze? surf? get a massage on the beach what you reckon?" and do you know something? This time Saturday I will be sittin in Bali enjoying life!!! :2tsup:

As to women? well I have no doubt one day I will find someone else to love and be loved by for the remainder of my life... but Im not looking and there is no one on the horizon... and Im happy with that... however having said that I think "friends with benifits" is a good thing!!! :2tsup: :U

Anyway... gotta get some snore time in and then get Jac to the plane on time... gonna be quiet around here without my Binty bop jammering her lips every five seconds wanting to go "SHOPPING" but still weve both really enjoyed some father daughter time after so long and so much confusion and hurt... great young lady is my Jaccy! :2tsup:

OH!! and I finally got someone to give me a hand to get the damned whoppin great bench I made which weighs a ton of the trailer and set up!!! FINALLY!! I can actually make something!! YESSSSSSS!!! :2tsup:

Smile mates and matesses!!
Shane

[jmk89]

Welcome back, Ding (amd not just to the Forums). It's great to see you back in such fine form

[whitewood]

Welcome back. The forum hasn't been the same since you went off the air. I used to read your posts even if the subject was outside my interests just because of the passion they expressed. I'm glad you other life is back on track too. I have never had to go through such an experience so I don't fully understand what you have gone through. But the 'new' Wild Dingo seems to at peace with the world and that is good for you and the forum.

Whitewood (John)

[wheelinround]

Yeh remembered your password I see must be terrible getting OLD :q

Ok I don't believe
I go fishing, camping, swimming (EVERY DAY!! :2tsup: ). Why when you live where ya live :doh:.

You got backwards Ding 2 x 3 x3m sheds is what you need one fr you one for the young fella they should be the living sleeping area and the house the shed. :;

Good to see you back here Shane :2tsup::2tsup:

[Wild_Dingo]

Yeh remembered your password I see must be terrible getting OLD :q

Ok I don't believe . Why when you live where ya live :doh:.

You got backwards Ding 2 x 3 x3m sheds is what you need one fr you one for the young fella they should be the living sleeping area and the house the shed. :;

Good to see you back here Shane :2tsup::2tsup:

Why? WHY? You ask me why Id be fishin, swimming, camping when I live where I live???? I MEAN GOOD GOD MAN!!! This is BROOME!!! great fishing fantastic swimming and amazing camping all over the place here... WHY wouldnt one do that????

The shed? nah its all good mate I reckon if others can do it and turn out some pretty snifty stuff from time to time so can this mad buggar... easy as!... still... it would be nice to have me old router and table... and the bandsysaw... and the table saw... mmm NOT the big thicknesser nor the jointer... AND Ive gotta order another couple of veneer press things... but hey Im doin great guns!!

Found some 1in x 1in 3mil rhs on top of the house the other day and I reckon theres enough to make a couple of pretty sturdy shelving units and as I have retained the mig welder its a job that needs be done... once thats out the way? well the world as they say is my oyster!! :2tsup:

Now for some work to build up the old spending accounts a bit... theyve been somewhat decimated over the past few months what with going to the states for a couple of months and buying this place and the new 4x4 and all the other stuff Im gonna HAVE to return to the workforce for a few months at least soon :roll:

Need to build it up again so I can have a whirl at the old "grey nomad" thing next year!! wanderlust has me in its grip methinks!! Why just last night over many a fine vodka it was discussed at great length the merits of heading to Vietnam or Bali for a few days R&R which given my recent history is definantly NEEDED... hahahaha anyway its a possibility that I might just head that way for a weekend shortly just for some R&R mind nothing too strenuous :; :;

Okay woodwork... well I think Im going to arc up the SCS tomorrow and make me some stairs... I THINK?... MAYBE?... ah buggar it I will let you know tomorrow! :q :;

[wheelinround]

Yeh ok so skyte away next thing you'll be showing us the size of fish caught :;

The Pearl in the Oyster you just happened to find.

God job that laptop has Wi Fi out there in the woods on the beach.:roll:

[munruben]

I think the stuff you have written here Ding will be a great comfort to a lot of people in the same boat as you were in. Keep moving forward mate and keep doing what you are doing.. Its working.:2tsup::2tsup::2tsup:

[wheelinround]

I think the stuff you have written here Ding will be a great comfort to a lot of people in the same boat as you were in. Keep moving forward mate and keep doing what you are doing.. Its working.:2tsup::2tsup::2tsup:


True John also for those wishing to become Grey Nomads shame you'll not be one Grey that is :;

[Wild_Dingo]

Gidday John
Mate part of why I write as I do is the hope that if someone anyone else is going through the same or a similar hell that somehow I can say "mate HANG IN THERE" Id never say it gets better because it only gets various shades of easier but ONLY if you dont sit around the same place! I think you gotta leave... like taking of to the states that was the best thing I could have done straightened me right out strengthened me no end emotionally and enabled me to make some decisions without the input and impact of family close freinds or anyone else... no distractions that remind you of home or whats happened... When you do that you can come back and look at whats there and make a clear decision without emotion on what is best for you... no one else you... its your life no one elses.

I think the depression was the worst part of it... not accepting that I needed help thinking it was her who was depressed when all the time I myself was... then denying help of any sort believing "I can do it I can get through this without the docs without the phsycs and without the meds"... that denial CAN kill you!...

What I think Ive been trying to tell people who are walking a similar road to my last few years journey is... FOR GODS SAKE GET HELP!!!... even if you THINK your goin okay you arent... your mind plays games with your thoughts... for some people the meds dont work try another sort!... luckily for me the combination of selling the place FAST and the meds plus leaving Aus straight after they finished worked for me... although I do now believe I should have probably had another couple of weeks on them for the first 2 weeks in the states was a hell...

Coming home seeing the kids and grandies was brilliant... of course theyre in the back of your mind of course you want to be there for them of course you love them to distraction... but you cant live for your kids!... I took the view when I got back when I saw that not a thing had changed regarding Jo that if I wanted to be there FOR THE LONG TERM for my kids and grandies then I HAD TO MAKE THE CHANGE for me... When I got back and saw no change in her or toward myself or anything else for that matter I knew I could buy a place nearby no worries but I also KNEW it was just a matter of a short period of time before I slipped right back where I was before I went away... and mate NO FLUCKING WAY IN HELL I was going back there for anyone!

So I left.

Now I dont see the kids so much as Id like or they would like and thats a bloody shame... but I and they KNOW that no matter what I will be around for many years to come even if I live 3000 klicks away!! And that mate is what matters in the end.

In the last month up here Ive created a new life for myself, Ive a new home a new car have no debts and owe no one anything, I am free to do as I please in life and worry about no-one... I talk to the kids most days on facebook or through text messages or by phone so they will inform me of any issues happening otherwise I do for myself and am enjoying life.

Loneliness was an issue along with isolation... THATS the main reason to sell the damned family home and GO AWAY!!!... although Im still alone Im no longer lonely in fact Im pretty content in my own company and have no issues with living by myself anymore the evenings were the worst but now it no longer bothers me... the isolation? in some ways Im probably even more isolated up here but while I was in the states a good friends made a simple comment that Ive taken to heart "Isolation and loneliness my friend is only a state of mind" so when I feel lonely or isolated I change my state of mind do something or go into town meet someone smile at someone say gidday to someone... and it works.

I still have no one in my life... female companionship wise... but Im okay with that I dont think I can be close to anyone right now as the hurt she caused is still pretty raw and I think it would be unfair on anyone else to attempt to be close during this time... it would be good to have someone I can just talk things through with or simply sit and have a good friendly chat with about whatever but well its not something I worry about now.

Almost 2 years have passed since Jo did what she did for whatever her reasons were... and now its time for me to just enjoy my own company get to know who I am again and simply enjoy life for what I make it... what she does now is her business Im no longer interested nor do I care very much what happens to her and that was the main purpose of coming all the way up here to disassociate myself from her so I could move on with my life... its no good staying put nearby to her for Id always be thinking "maybe... maybe theres a chance?" and questioning that so Id be continually hurt and so coming here I can disassociate and put her out of my life as a part of it... let her go on with her life as she chooses and get on with my own as I choose.

We did have a good run I think... 26 years almost 27 married... 30 in total together as a couple... 8 kids and a good life for the most part... so its over? thats okay were both young enough to move forward and find a new life a new love and be happy... seriously I dont know what shes doing or what she wants and I actually dont think she does herself but thats not my concern anymore so I dont waste time energy or emotion thinking about it.

Hopefully anyone going through a similar thing will read the journey Ive been through and seeing the place Im in now will see some hope and try to a) get help for themselves no one else but themselves b) sell the family home it simply has far to many memories to hang onto its like living in the past... a past that no longer exists except in your own mind... c) Go away A LONG way away preferably to another country where the chances of hearing an Aussie accent weather male or female is unlikely this gives you a chance to NOT be reminded by hearing them in that other Aussie accent... d) Move! To another state or a long way from where they are located

I dont know how long I will live up here... I guess as long as it takes and I need to take... but its now my home and I no longer spend any time thinking about Jo or whats happened... and FOR ME it was the only way I could manage to get to this point... a point where Im content, where Im happy, and where I can go a complete day AND night without any thought of her or what has occured.

I wish anyone going through a similar thing only good luck and my solid hope they get help sooner rather than later and do what they have to do to get through it intact, free, healthy and able to smile again.

Wheelin mate... Im presently looking at buying a rig I can use for the "grey nomad" thing :; but actually Im giving serious thought to becoming a Broome hippy with a market stall to sell stuff to the tourists and just working the season then go wandering :2tsup: Ive found I dont need much nowadays to do what I enjoy doing... and Ive also come to a point that I KNOW what woodworking I actually really enjoy so my needs in that are also less than I had before... so all I really need to do the "grey nomad" thing is say a nice offroad camper trailer with a tool box at the front for a few tools and bits of wood... and away I go whenever I get tired of Broome and feel like a change :2tsup:


oooh and the fish??? MAN!! OOOOHHHH MAN... DUDE ITS BLOODY AWEFRIGGINSOME!... went out with a mate on his boat the other day "just for a few hours mate catch a couple of fish for the pan have a few coldies and come back okay?" OKAY!!!... so ONE HOUR later we were back!! ONE HOUR MATE!! caught our limit of Barra, Spanish Mackerel, Golden trevally and a couple of others... ooooh the fishin is brilliant you wouldnt believe HOW BRILLIANT!!... oh and then he took me to his "spot" for some mudcrabs... oooh now you just gotta try mudcrab before you fall of the perch old son I assure you of one thing IF you like crab you will LOVE muddies!! ahem... pics? whos got bloody time to take pics when the fish are big enough to hurl you into the water if your not holding the rod in BOTH hands!!! :2tsup:

[wheelinround]

Good to have you back Ding its like reading a bloody good book you just can't wait to turn the page.:2tsup:

Yeh right big fish heard it all before and a little bloke like you would be bait for them.:; or being pulled water skiing fashion across the water.:U

I've had river muddies not real big ones many moons ago yep nice.

Just kep doing what ever it is your doing Ding enjoying life.:2tsup:

[echnidna]

Hi WD, good ter see yer still in the land of the living,

[munruben]

Shane, you have written many pieces on this forum over the time you have been a member but your previous post HAS to be the finest piece you have written. It makes you want to laugh, makes you want to cry but through it all mate there is an inspiration of hope for anyone in the same boat as you were it. You have written with such passion which clearly shows. Congratulations on a great piece of writing. All the best to you for the future.

[graemet]

It's great to see you on line again, Shane. You have really hit the nail on the head with your thoughts on your recent past. As I said before, I've been down that road. "Everyone" says you'll get over it, but unless they have personally proved it, it's very hard to believe them. Keep your posts coming, all your forum mates have been the poorer for your absence, not the least - me. I can't see a pic of a lugger or a classic yacht without thinking about you!
Cheers
Graeme

[Andy Mac]

Hi there Shane,
Welcome back to the fold! Broome is a nice place to spend the winter, but don't know about summer.
I've been heading down a very similar road as you mate, starting at the beginning of the year. Probably explains why I've dropped off the radar a bit on the forum, and shed time not really a priority. Still a lonely and empty house to come home to, but I'm convinced its all for the best in the long run. Like the others, I've followed your trials, and now I can see the connection for myself. Reading about someone else's experiences is a big help, so thanks.

Look after yourself,
Andy

[Wild_Dingo]

I do get a tad embarressed when someone thinks my writings good but thanks for the compliment that I wasnt looking for but accept happily mate

Graeme... exactly so and I guess each of us walk that journey in our own way but there will be similarities that we can use to help another... at the time and during the worst of it I couldnt bear to read other peoples comments about been there done that... but now well I hope like you did for me that I can help someone else come out the other end.

As to luggars and such... mate... did I come CLOSE!!!... Indo boat in Darwin took my fancy while I was in the states and its still for sale and Im still drooling... I admit there were a couple over there that I ALMOST bit the bullet and bought but no my thoughts there were to get back here so I came back and seriously was heading up and over the top to get to Toowoomba to buy a mobile home checking out the Indo boat while in Darwin trouble was I didnt get past Broome!! But no problems Im happy with my lot now... and a boat is always going to be a distraction I can hook another day for now what I have is enough :2tsup:

Sorry to hear that Andy... one thing if I may? Make sure absolutely sure you take some time every day for you... believe in yourself mate and get help if you feel yourself slipping further than your happy with... pm me if you feel a need I wont lecture or judge but will be a mates earhole for you to lean on

Shane

[Calm]

I do get a tad embarressed when someone thinks my writings good but thanks for the compliment that I wasnt looking for but accept happily mate

Graeme... exactly so and I guess each of us walk that journey in our own way but there will be similarities that we can use to help another... at the time and during the worst of it I couldnt bear to read other peoples comments about been there done that... but now well I hope like you did for me that I can help someone else come out the other end.

As to luggars and such... mate... did I come CLOSE!!!... Indo boat in Darwin took my fancy while I was in the states and its still for sale and Im still drooling... I admit there were a couple over there that I ALMOST bit the bullet and bought but no my thoughts there were to get back here so I came back and seriously was heading up and over the top to get to Toowoomba to buy a mobile home checking out the Indo boat while in Darwin trouble was I didnt get past Broome!! But no problems Im happy with my lot now... and a boat is always going to be a distraction I can hook another day for now what I have is enough :2tsup:

Sorry to hear that Andy... one thing if I may? Make sure absolutely sure you take some time every day for you... believe in yourself mate and get help if you feel yourself slipping further than your happy with... pm me if you feel a need I wont lecture or judge but will be a mates earhole for you to lean on

Shane

WD good to see you now have a handle on things.:2tsup::2tsup:

BUT

Go see the doc today - the last post was only 4 paragraphs so it is obvious there is a problem - GET HELP:p:p:D:D

Will teh grey nomad thing see you making a Members visiting trip? It would be good to see you over the best side of the country:D:D

Cheers

[dsquire]

Wild_Dingo

Good to see you back on the forum. For the last 6 month's or so I have missed not having a chance to read about what you have been up to. I did manage to find one post when you were State side but nothing else till now.

Glad to see that positive changes are happening in your life and you get to spend some time with the younguns. Take things one day at a time and doen't force them. Things have a way of all fitting into place better that way. A 10 pound sledge hammer isn't always the answer. :crash:

Be well Shane, enjoy life and keep your stick on the ice.

Cheers:beer:

Don