View Full Version : Facing reality :(

6th Oct 2004, 01:04 PM

Thats it for me for a while. I've had 45 minutes of shed time in the last five weeks since my son Elliott was born. During that time I fired up the circular saw, woke him up and made SWMBO furious. :(

I think it's time to clean the shed up, oil the planes, stop kidding myself and come back in 6 months or so...........................

6th Oct 2004, 01:13 PM
Maybe you should take up woodturning. It's a lot quieter.

Maybe that's what your subconscious was telling you when it directed you to post here in the Woodturning forum :p

6th Oct 2004, 01:27 PM
Tip toeing around isn't going to make life any easier for anyone.

Fire up the saw, bang some nails - Elliott will soon recognise these as normal 'safe' sounds.

6th Oct 2004, 01:32 PM
I agree with Zymurgy - get the kid used to sleeping wherever, whenever.

We'd have loud music playing, sometimes blinds open, sometimes closed, sometimes vacuum going, etc.

After a while, we could take them to birthday parties, weddings, bbqs, and when they needed a sleep, they'd sleep. None of this pfaffing around with quiet, dark, 3 stuffed toys, whole complex sleeptime routine....


6th Oct 2004, 01:33 PM
Actually, I should have said that instead of being a smart artist.

One of the best pieces of advice we got when our first was born was not to get obsessed about quiet. Leave the door open with the TV or the stereo on. Don't sneak around the house in case you wake the baby. After awhile, like Gordon says, they get used to the 'safe' noises and they sleep through them. Otherwise, they'll go on waking up at every sound. Worked for us, our two would sleep through an earthquake.

6th Oct 2004, 01:43 PM
whoops, wrong forum sorry turners.

anyway, the noise isn't really the issue, perhaps my post was misleading a bit. I mostly work with hand tools whihc means that stock prep is time consuming.

Peopel often advise you not too keep the house too quite to teach them to sleep through normal noise, and it's good advice. But after 4 hours of colic related screaming - trust me - you dont want to risk waking them up by turning the stereo on. In normal situations though, standard household noise is fine, he sleeps through it.

The other danger for me is tiredness. I'm likely to stab myself with a chisel or cut my fingers off

6th Oct 2004, 01:51 PM
4 hours of colic related screaming
The best piece of advice we got: gripe water.

Wood Borer
6th Oct 2004, 02:20 PM

The new arrivals certainly rearrange our lives don't they.

A little imagination and time coordination should have you back in the workshop and out of SWMBO's hair.

It is important that both you and SWMBO don't see the youngun as completely chopping off your social and recreational activities as this could lead to resenting the little fella - even subconciously.

To be able to both have a break from time to time will lead to a happy family. I'm not suggesting it is not already a happy family, but make sure you try to create an environment where frustration can't survive.

Remember that we were all demanding at that age but a little planning can make those demands less painful to maintain.

Good luck with the quiet handtools mate.

6th Oct 2004, 02:47 PM
It's probably a little late to recommend a condom.

6th Oct 2004, 02:49 PM

Good luck with the colic thing, I never had the problems that most people seem to, so I can't relate, however I can sympathise. As for the quiet thing, definatly keep the loud music and other stuff going, God knows he'll pay you back when he's in his teens :mad:


6th Oct 2004, 03:46 PM
Adam our youngest boy nearly get us divorced and nervous breakdowned and round the twisted in his first three months. The Doctors said "its Colic" there is nothing more we can do. On advice from my sister who is a midwife we took him to a chiropractor. I was very very nervous but it was like flicking a switch. He went from screaming for more than 8 hours a day to beautiful peaceful and happy overnight. It was wonderful (hardened parents know what I'm talking about).

Just thought I'd throw in my two bobs because I know what Colic is like. I don't think that all chiro's are suited to kids but PM if you'd like to know the one we go to.

The shed will still be there when you get around to it and Elliot will be in there before you know it. My boy is determined to saw the legs off my workbench:)


6th Oct 2004, 03:59 PM
The shed will still be there when you get around to it and Elliot will be in there before you know it. My boy is determined to saw the legs off my workbench:)

Damn I know that one, the boys love the shed and everything in it. It is surprising how much they know about it, they already know what hammers, drills, saws, screwdrivers and paintbrushes do at 2!!! and they are able to use most of them at least well enough to do damage.

Seriously though you will eventually get back into the shed. Enjoy elliot while he is small, they really do not stay that way for very long at all.

6th Oct 2004, 04:09 PM
I am sure that the setback will only be temporary - then as squizz points out you will have to then keep them out of YOUR workshop. Have you noticed that kids (well my son anyway) considers things ours - and his things are his?

I had to get my son his own Carbotec catalogue because he always had mine and he is only 8.


6th Oct 2004, 04:15 PM
I'll leave the carbatec catalogue out on the coffee table. Maybe then he'll start asking mum for a 14' bandsaw for christmas.

Thanks for the advice all, never heard of chiro for babies before. I'll do a bit of net surfing on it though and maybe get back to you.

Colic is a 1 in 5 day event and we're starting to learn to just help him get through it.

6th Oct 2004, 05:06 PM
Woodwork will wait. The time you spend with the kids when they are young will be repaid in later life, now is the time that you make or break lifetime bonds. ;)

Don Nethercott
7th Oct 2004, 01:39 PM
Wood Borer made a good point.
You still need to have your own life. You need time in the shed alone, but remember your wife might/will need time alone.
Make a deal/arrangement with your wife so that you can both have your time alone. Also you both need time together without bub (of course this means a babysitter) but remember you are not doing your children any favours if your marriage gets into trouble.
Work at it and you can all have a fulfilling life.

Re Colic - like anything you buy, you have to shop around. Be prepared to visit a number of doctors, chiropractors, etc until you get satisfaction. Very rarely is there a condition that cannot respond to some treatment.

Good luck,

7th Oct 2004, 02:05 PM
Babies, What are these babies you speak of? Can't you just put it back where it came from?

Seriously, take the time to enjoy the kid - they and you only get older.

7th Oct 2004, 02:19 PM
Hi Adam,

Sure the advice about taking time out with the baby is very good and sound, but in all this don't loose sight of the fact that you, SWMBO and the baby will coexist from now on. Therefore it is just as important to take time out for SWMBO AND for ADAM!

If you have a lathe.....it takes less than 10 minutes to make a pen and during that time you have a quality switch off from the things that surround you. By the way if your lathe is too noisy, trade it in for a quiet one !!! LOL.
Have a good day ( and night!)


7th Oct 2004, 02:41 PM
At the risk of laying myself wide open to copious abuse, might I add....

Go out of your way to do something to buy SWMBO some quality time away from the little horror. Remember that you do get the chance to slip down to the shed and turn a pen, or disappear to work, while she is stuck with a squalling kid 24/7.

If you can arrange it so that you are involved in the quality time, so much the better :D .

Seriously, a fretful kid is probably the most stressfull thing that will happen in your relationship, and many have crumbled, (or at least had the seeds of destruction sown) under the strain. Our marriage survived (just!) and we had basically easy kids.

A bit of calculated neglect, and some mutual pampering, may help to ensure that the poor deprived little bugger groes up with both parents still present and accounted for in the same house.

My 2c worth, (and I won't admit it if you tell my wife!)


7th Oct 2004, 03:16 PM

:( :(
Your post reminds me the first 3 months of my girl. What a nightmare! My wife and I had less then 6 hours of sleep in the first 2 days out of the hospital.

I agree that both of you need to have time away from little Elliott. If you are back at work then you are the lucky one. Your wife is with him 24/7. Take him out and do something you enjoy most. I have been taking Jasmin out on Saturday morning for the last 2 ˝ years. We’ve been to almost every hardware stores, timber yards and tool shops in Sydney. It is our chance to spend some quality father-daughter together and my wife can have 4-5 hours alone.

Good luck to both of you mate. :)

PS I will give you a greenie to cheer you up. :)

7th Oct 2004, 03:40 PM
Boy - this is a fatherly little discussion.

Couldn't agree more with all the sentiments expressed really - God knows I've had plenty of foul ups, 4 marriages only one daughter of mine that lives with her mother in Geelong at last report - 18 months ago :(

But there is one thing that I've learn't more recently that boy I wish I'd known earlier. If I put the Triton Respirator on and fasten the ear muffs correctly. I can turn on the 2hp extractor and the router, saw or jointer and I can't hear any bloody thing :D not the 17 year olds stereo, not the 10 & 15 year old trying to murder one another or SWBO screaming at them and me. :D

Allows me to keep my sanity while all around are losing theirs :D

Works for me :D :D :D


7th Oct 2004, 06:16 PM
Colic recipe ... cut into even blanks and microwave... woops, wrong recipe! We had good results with the wife giving up beef and dairy, for what its worth. And boiled water left to go tepid was just as good as Gripewater and cheaper, allowing some extra dollars for the new bandsaw ;-}