The Black Dog Bites again

[artme]

Our son began Law at Bond University a couple of months ago and has been doing extremely well.

Then he rang us to say he was always tired and couldn't concentrate. He developed "flu and went to see the doctor. The doctor was very thorough and diagnosed depression. He has a referral to a psychologist but can't get in for about a month. In the meantime we are doing what we can by way of support,. We take some of the load off his shoulders by taking groceries and prepared meals dow on weekends and making sure his expenses, and hence some of the worry is kept to a minimum.
I've also advised him to take walks at least once a day, as this has helped me over the years. I think he should also learn to meditate.

Seems like the hound really pursues the family - dad, two of my brothers and myself and now two of my sons.

I just wonder if this condition is hereditary.

[seriola]

Thankfully he has the support and understanding of family, that surely would be about the most important thing in getting through such episodes. Perhaps there is something hereditary in it, I come from a very large family with no sufferers but know several people who have a family history with similar illness. All the best to all of you and hope it all works out.

[pampelmuse]

I can confirm that medical studies show there is a hereditary component. My grandfather (on my mother's side) suffered from it as has his son (my uncle). I remember hearing once many years ago that hereditary studies within families have shown that it is statistically more common in families where men have careers as engineers. Dunno why this is, just one of those unexplained statistical associations at this stage.
As you have suggested Artme, regular excercise is one of the best natural treatments. It has all sorts of positive effects on the body and the mind.

[drsed]

This may be a little left field, Artme, but it may be worth considering. When I was at Uni I suffered an episode of depression. After consultation with a wonderful Chinese psychologist, he reached the conclusion that I was putting enormous pressure on myself to achieve high results and that the anxiety generated by this was manifest as depression.

His advice was to lower the bar a little, and learn to enjoy the uni experience and to find the right balance between life and work. Your suggestions of mediation and walking are great. But can I suggest that maybe you talk with him about the effects of pouring too much effort into achieving high results. In the end having a row of HDs won't make him a netter lawyer or person. The huge upside is that when you depressurize, your results remain much the same anyway (like a fast bowler in cricket who actually bowls faster when they relax).

Surely Bond has a counsellor who is available immediately for a student suffering from depression.

[artme]

What you say makes emminent sense, drsed.

We have always known the lad to be very intelligent. He has also always been obtuse and difficult to manage. He did not finish High school and wound up in a few different jobs that were going nowhere. He was involved in a disasterous relationship and also an horrendous car crash earlier this year. He wasn't hurt at all but his mate, the owner and driver, was badly injured but is now recovered.

After looking at his situation he decided that he was not living up to his potential and that most of his aquaintences were not of his "level" He has tavelled the widely in Sth America and the States plus some of the Pacific and was an exchange student in Brasil. He speaks English and Portuguese fluently an understands a fair bit of Spanish.

He decided that he wanted to be up to the same academic levels as the rest of the family -teachers, lawyers, doctors, engineers, a lecturer with a Ph D in genetics,a pilot and the list goes on.

So it was a case of proving himself to himself and to others. I think it may all have caught up with him.

Thanks for the tip on the possibility of a counsellor at Uni. Don't know why I didn't think of that.

[rsser]

Some wit once said that depression is anger without the enthusiasm.

The energy that would otherwise drive that enthusiasm has to go somewhere. Like any form of energy, it can't be destroyed, only converted.

[artme]

Food for thought Ern and an interesting way of looking at the problem.

[Foo]

So long as he has done his best and not someone else's, then he should be happy with his studies.The problem arises when you don't know when to say, I have reached my best and back off a bit from trying to get better.

I only found this out when I had some health issues that I was trying to sort out some time ago. The doctor said to me, it's fine being a perfectionist but you need to know where to draw the line and say, enough, I have reached my maximum level.

I would be always looking at how, I could do better at something, instead of saying, that's it. Hope this makes sense! :?

A good mental health Dr should be able to enlighten him better on the concerns he has.

Foo

[artme]

Thanks Foo. That certainly makes sense. Spoke to him yesterday and he seems to be more settled but I hope he keepsthe appointment with the psychologist.

My experience with the hound over the years has been of some help, but I think it's like many things in life ; until you experience it, and come through it yourself, all the advice from a fellow sufferer will never fully explain ,or convey just what is needed to keep you on an even keel.

[rsser]

Yeah. It's a sod.

I agree that exercise can be a help; hard cycling helped me .... that energy has to go somewhere!

It seems mild to moderate depression can be helped by counselling. But counsellors vary a lot in their approach and capacity and you need to be prepared to change yours if you're not happy with her/him.

Depression is catching too ... if you spend a lot of time with someone who is depressed it's poss. to get really down too. This is a better explanation IMO of the thing running in families than the genetic one.

Good luck with him Arthur. He's lucky to have someone looking out for him.

[Scott]

Not sure how I missed this thread however...

I was diagnosed with depression close to 10 years ago and at the time planned and nearly carried out suicide. This is just an insidious and destructive disease. Thankfully I have such a supportive family, the assistance of some great medical experts and an underlying determination wanting to beat whatever it was eating me away. I just remember the anger inside me, it was completely repulsive to others and especially myself.

These days I can't get by without medication however you are all right when you mention exercise. This is crucial to recovery. Secondly, you need to listen but only to those who know and have experience with depression. I must say, opinions are like bums, everyone has got one.

Now you might think this next comment is a bit kitsch however taking up woodwork all those years ago has helped me immensely, to the point I now rely on my daily fix of wood to get me through (almost). One thing though, being in close proximity to all those fast spinning machines is a little counter productive to all those suicidal tendencies! hehe.

To answer your question though, yes, I think it's hereditary. My Grandmother, my Mother, my sister and myself.

And everyone here in the Woodwork Forums, you've all played a bit part in maintaining my sanity, so thank you, I'm well on my way to maintaining a normal lifestyle. :)

[Jim Carroll]

We had similar situation with No1 son when he went to uni.

He wanted to prove his worth to everyone but put undu pressure on himself.

After a long chat it turned out he was stressed and not socialising enough, he then realised that he had to interact with the others on a more social basis and joined in other activities and more or less relaxed overnight.

He is not a social junkie like some of his mates but enjoys both sides of the uni life

His marks are still very high as he knows where he wants to go. Only stressfull times now are exam times but he quickly gets over that.

[Foo]

That's good to hear Sjt.:)

Surprising how good a forum like this is, can give you a bit of motivation to stay sane.:wink:

[Scott]

Surprising how good a forum like this is, can give you a bit of motivation to stay sane.:wink:

Or insane ;)

[Aerenandmel]

thankfully he has the support and understanding of family, that surely would be about the most important thing in getting through such episodes. All the best to all of you and hope it all works out.

x2