Bushmiller 31st December 2004, 06:05 PM I was reminded of this story by Peter R's Defamation post in the Nothing to do with Woodworking section.
A man dies and on reaching the Pearly Gates is told that he is not booked into the upper house.
Philisophically he goes down to hell and is greeted by the devil. The man explains his predicament and the devil pronounces that they do not descriminate and will take anyone who shows up. By the way, he asks the man what he does. The man replys that on earth he was an engineer. The devil asks if he builds things and the man replies "You bet."
The devils eyes light up (red) and he declares there is plenty of work for him.
After a period of time the almighty casts a glance down to the lower house and sees all kinds of development going on. He decides to telephone the devil and find out.
Devil: Devil here.
Almighty: Almighty speaking. Looks like there are some things happening down there. What gives?
Devil: You betcha. We have this engineer bloke here who's a bloody marvel. He's built viaducts, contour banks, bridges, canals and there is a mountain of projects planned.
Almighty: I've been consulting our guest list and there has been a terrible mistake. He should be up here where belongs.
Devil: You had your chance. You blew it. He's staying here.
Almighty: Come on now, you know he should have been here all along.
Devil: Sorry bro, you messed up and we've got him.
Almighty: If you do not return him you will be sorry!
Devil: Oh yeah? I'm tellin' ya he's stayin'.
Almighty: I'll,.... I'll sue!
Devil (laughing): Come on now, be sensible, where are you going to find a lawyer up there?
Regards and Happy New Year
Paul
PS I know some really nice people who are lawyers.
Sturdee 31st December 2004, 06:30 PM Devil (laughing): Come on now, be sensible, where are you going to find a lawyer up there?
Paul, there is a lot of truth in that :D but more to the point where are they going to find a good judge. :)
Peter.
DanP 31st December 2004, 07:22 PM See signature below.
Bushmiller 31st December 2004, 08:08 PM Peter
Does this fit in with people being promoted to a position of incompetence? You are promoted to a point where you are no longer suited to the job and there you stay.
The main problem for these people is staying in touch with reality.
DanP
I have been amused by your signature for some while. I nearly suggested that you look at the post and then I decided that you would home in on it anyway. Looks like I was right. I didn't expect your sleuthing technique to be quite so quick and efficient.
Lastly I was originally told this story by an engineer and the other person he was telling it to was a solicitor, who is now a judge!
Regards
Paul
Sturdee 1st January 2005, 02:01 AM Paul,
A big part of the flaws of our legal system rest with the method of selecting judges.
The norm is that they are selected from and appointed out of the barristers that practice in that state. As barristers charge such exorbitant fees for their work good barristers earn about 4 to 5 times what judges earn. Because of the big drop in pay most of the really good barristers don't accept appointment to the bench. Those that do come from the medium range.
The second main problem is their effective appointment for life. Although parliament can remove a judge in practice it never happens. Therefore there is no real way of ensuring that they stay up to date. I know there are courts of appeal but they also consists of the same type of judges who are very reluctant to criticise their brother judges.
The final problem is that because of their environment they never have been or ever will remain in touch with reality. When was the last time that someone with common sense became a judge ? or someone struggling to raise a family on a low income ? or a victim of crime ?
Until judges are selected from a cross section of the community and for shorter terms it won't improve. Also there should be automatic review of their sentincing pattern so that it accurately reflects community standards.
Peter.
Kev Y. 1st January 2005, 07:29 AM WHOOOOA, this thread is getting way too serious for me..
After all it is in the JOKE section!
Bushmiller 1st January 2005, 09:15 AM Brudda
Point taken. No more cross dressing.
Regards
Paul
Iain 1st January 2005, 09:36 AM I am a member of the Society of Explorers and at one of our monthly luncheons one member, retired Judge, was commenting on breathalysing machines (he had a close call).
"Trouble with these machines is that they fail to discriminate between a well dined gentleman and a p!sspot"
Sturdee 1st January 2005, 10:13 AM WHOOOOA, this thread is getting way too serious for me..
After all it is in the JOKE section!
Sorry mate,
Got carried away again :o but in my previous life I spent many a days waiting in the corridors of our courts and had too much time to contemplate on the inadequacies of our legal system. :mad:
Peter.
DanP 1st January 2005, 12:37 PM Peter,
What was your previous life?
Dan
Driver 1st January 2005, 01:11 PM Peter
Before you answer that, don't forget that you are not required to give evidence that may incriminate you ;)
Sturdee 1st January 2005, 02:35 PM Dan,
It is no secret what I did in my previous light and I am not ashamed of what I did. :)
When I left school I joined a bank, in the days when banks cared about customer service and provided a real service to the community. Then it was about making a reasonable profit and not rip everybody off with exorbitant charges for normal service. :mad:
After leaving the bank I became an Accountant and worked firstly for a builder/restaurant owner that was often involved in ltigation, secondly for a firm of tax accountants, whose clients needed assistance with the ATO ( often also in courts on appeal from the ATO ) and finally for a golf club which was peaceful but boring.
On the whole an interesting career , except for the waiting in court corridors. :mad:
Sorry Brudda, I know too long and too seriously a reply for the Jokes section. :D Hope I'm forgiven. :D
Peter.
outback 1st January 2005, 02:58 PM ...........and they all made pancakes and lived happily ever after. :p
Bushmiller 1st January 2005, 03:11 PM At last; a bit of comedy relief!
Regards
Paul
Peter R 1st January 2005, 08:12 PM At last; a bit of comedy relief!
Regards
Paul
Where, I must have missed it. :D
Oh No! Thar' he goes agin', a-whingin' and a-sookin' will it never end, I ask...Never I answer!!!!:p
Peter R.
Jeff 3rd January 2005, 02:27 PM One of the customers whom I did work for is an Architect. I put an addition on his house for him. A nice guy, and he made a real point of being a "Christian". As time went on he made more and more comments about how he would someday meet the Lord in Heaven. One day I asked him just how he expected to actually enter Heaven, being an Architect? He looked at me quizically, and I said, "well, of course you know Jesus' father Joseph was a Carpenter?"
:D
vsquizz 4th January 2005, 01:32 AM We don't seem to have many lawyers as members of this BB:rolleyes: ...well those that will admit to it anyway:D
Cheers
Iain 4th January 2005, 07:21 AM Of course not Squizz, if they offered advice you would get a bill for it :p :D :rolleyes:
Besides, they only accept instruction, not offer advice :confused:
echnidna 4th January 2005, 04:17 PM We don't seem to have many lawyers as members of this BB:rolleyes: ...well those that will admit to it anyway:D
Cheers
They would have trouble getting a word in between the IT crew. :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :D
Bushmiller 4th January 2005, 09:49 PM "Objection your honour."
"Overruled!"
Just thought I'd play the Devils's Advocate for a moment.
Regards
Paul
DanP 5th January 2005, 12:04 AM You're a bitter and cynical man Iain. ;)
vsquizz 5th January 2005, 01:47 AM You're a bitter and cynical man Iain. ;)
Maybe he is just experienced;)
AlexS 5th January 2005, 02:11 PM "Don't tell my mother I'm a lawyer...she thinks I play piano in a brothel."
vsquizz 5th January 2005, 02:33 PM Better your sister in a whorehouse than your brother on the bench... We could use a lawyer..I have generally found they are the best source of lawyer jokes.
Cheers
Wongo 5th January 2005, 04:52 PM A real estate agent is married to a lawyer and the best man is a used cars salesman.
Kev Y. 5th January 2005, 10:23 PM A real estate agent is married to a lawyer and the best man is a used cars salesman.
The only good thing about that union is the FATHER-IN-LAW is a woodworker? :p
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