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Jonzjob
22nd Oct 2012, 01:47 AM
To avoid repercussions from blondes, I will describe this person as a very fair haired person of female gender. Anyway………………………….

This person was sent on her way to Heaven where, upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the "person", 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' she asked ?

1. “said St Peter”, which two days of the week start with the letter T ?'
2. “How many seconds are there in a year?”
3. “What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda ?”

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the “person” went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon her and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

To which she replied, 'today and tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

She replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' she said, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to
the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at her and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned and said after due consideration I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The “person” replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' she replied.

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to her, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' she said, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited 'til his billy boiled.'

And the every fair haired female entered Heaven...

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What's worse, is that song will be buzzing around your head for hours!