I'm signing off

[Glenrob]

Dear Fellow Forum Members,

After some serious soul searching and much mental anguish, I have decided to take a leave of absence from this great Forum and all the wonderful friends who have made me feel welcomed as well as helping me along in my wood working journeys.

I am placing this post in this particular titled thread because this is where I have made certain offers and promises and I wanted those affected to know that I have no intentions of reneging on those promises. Troubled though I might be, I am still a man of my word and to those of you to whom I have made those promises, be reassured that everything still stands as per our last contacts.
Further more, I think I might be adding to my initial offer of donating my Triton route table, but if (and when) I can construct an idea I have for my other router, I will more than likely be donating my original Triton Workbench as well, along with all its original fittings.

For those to whom I have made promises and also anyone who is interested in my latest offer, I can still be reached through my email [email protected] This also holds for anyone who previously wanted to drop by, although I doubt after reading this that anyone would want to. I haven't magically turned into a boogeyman over night, I've just reached a point where I have fallen foul of my inner demons and need to regroup to find the strength to carry on.

Anyhow, I do not wish to drag this out any further because the anguish my decision has caused me is more painful than anyone can understand. For the reasoning behind my decision, you need only search one of my past postings to find the basis for my troubled thinking. This along with my recently posted and regrettable indiscretion, have forced me to make this heart rending decision.
Goodbye for now my friends.

Regretfully,
Bob

[A Duke]

All of the best, and look for the silver lining.
Regards

[FenceFurniture]

Bob, we're (mostly) a pretty forgiving bunch here, so perhaps a little time for reflection and then back into it eh? I know first hand how hard the light can be to see, but it always seems to be there - just a matter of finding it.

It's a thoroughly excellent forum and you would be the richer for being a member, as we probably would be too.

Time out, chill out, and climb out.

Regards
Brett

[Gra]

Bob,

I haven't had anything to do with you on this forum, but you note caught my eye. Look after yourself and don't let those inner demons win. You are not alone we all have inner demons, some are smaller than others and some just manage to hide it more than others.

Remember the only way to beat them is to face them. Good luck and I hope we see you back

[tdrumnut]

Geez mate I hope you sort all out & come back soon, your input like all others is valuable to us regardless of how insignificant you may think it is. Look after yourself.

[delbs]

Glenrob. From the little amount i have chat to you on here you have provided plenty of insight into bandsaws and your experience in general. From what i have read here. Your previous post shouldn't be your deciding factor to leave. Everyone makes silly mistakes so i wouldnt let it bother you. But as you also mention if you are leaving for other personal reasons then that choice is your own. But keep in mind your always welcome back as everyone's advice on this forum combined is what makes it a great community.. Keep that in mind :) and good luck

[DavidG]

After some serious soul searching and much mental anguish, I have decided to take a leave of absence from this great Forum and all the wonderful friends who have made me feel welcomed as well as helping me along in my wood working journeys.

Ok! we grant your wishes.
You can have 2 days leave of absence then you should be back.

We all stuff up sometimes, me included. :C Got a ban at one stage.......

Now look at me - I became a moderator. :o

Take care

Dave..

[danny.s]

Hey Bob

I was reading your "you wish" thread just yesterday! I love to show my wife stuff from this site that shows how mad some folk are for their woodworking. Other examples include some of the amazing benches, and pieces of work that show a genuine love for this art. I admire the skills on show here and am truly grateful for the contributions made by our members, including you. I'm a try-hard but hope to be half decent one day.

Many of us don't post on treads but read them and enjoy them greatly. I hope you realise that you connect and impact many more people than just those participating in a thread. I remember reading your reply regarding your pain management and depression, and it helped me realise we are not alone (my wife suffers from debilitating pain due to illness). Caring for my wife, kids and working doesn't leave much time for social connections. This site is my online equivalent of hanging out with some like-minded folk at the pub (which I never do).

We all need somewhere to belong mate, and this is as good a place as any.

I hope you hang around.

Danny

[FenceFurniture]

You know what Bob? You should drag your buns down to Jerilderie next Jan or Feb to this (http://www.woodworkforums.com/f25/wwjj-woodworkers-jerilderie-jaunt-feb-2014-a-170839/). I know it's a ways off, but it'll make a massive difference to your forum participation to meet some of the faces behind the fingertips.

That goes for the rest of you Canberrans and Southern Tablelanders - c'mon - it'll be a hoot, and it's just down the road a bit.

I'll be having another Get Together up here in Oct/Nov too, and plenty of people travel good distances for events like these (from Melbourne, Toowoomba). Such a lot of fun. :2tsup:

[Glenrob]

Thank you to everyone who has given me their support and good will during my self induced absence.
Your kind words and thoughts have made me realise that leaving here would be more detrimental to my situation than staying and enjoying the hobby we all enjoy so much.
I now realise that missing out on the company of the only ones who have not judged me for what I have going on in my life, would be a foolish endeavour and one that I know I would eventually grow to regret more than I know.
I also realise how selfish I was to think that I was the only one out there with personal troubles. To those who are evidently suffering with their own or in particular, their families' ill health...I apologise whole heatedly.

Just when you think things are finally looking up, something happens that drags you right back down again. I had a minor (verbal) incident with a very trusted family member yesterday that left me thinking that there was no-one left to place my faith and trust in anymore.
I know it sounds harsh, but my closest family members (except for my mother) are the ones who have supported me the least ever since my condition was eventually diagnosed.

Anyhow, I thank you all again, especially DaveG for his personal interjection and encouraging emails, and I look forward to once again sharing our 'wooden' endeavours together.

Sincerely,
Bob

[A Duke]

:2tsup:
Good decision IMHO.
Welcome back

[danny.s]

Welcome back Bob!

[delbs]

Welcome back. IMHO always better to talk with like minded people than suffer in silence :)

[DavidG]

I know it sounds harsh, but my closest family members (except for my mother) are the ones who have supported me the least
Old story - You can pick your friends but are stuck with your family.

Every morning I wake up it has to be a good day. I am still breathing :U

[FenceFurniture]

Chat with like minded woodies, or chat with family......:think:

[DaveTTC]

Hey Bob,


No idea what is going on or has gone on ... I have some real hell in my life and its the forum that gives me an out. Hope you can get to the get together down here in Jerilderie next year. If Bret wants ya to come you must be a good bloke ;)

regards

Dave

[Timless Timber]

I never leave forums - I always make em kick me out! :B :D :U :doh:

[jhovel]

Welcome back Bob!
I can imagine that you feel alone in your struggle - sadly all of us who suffer with this bloody condition think that at times.
Here are some statistics for you (that you may already know - just to remind you): one in six adults suffer clinical depressions (not reactive depression as a result of an actual loss) at least once in the lives. Only half ever seek help. THis forum has 81,153 Members, Currently Active 10,454. That means you and I are members of a potential support community of around 1742 people! So 871 active members KNOW they have our condition AND have sought or are getting help (soimetime in their lives). What a hell of a resource!
Now, are you really surprised at the amount of encouragement you got not to turn your back? :U

Many of us are in the age group where "grown men don't cry" translated to : men don't complain about emotional hardship. We have to get better at letting our friends know that something is wrong and use them as supports. I actually think the slightly more distant medium of forums is a good thing for that - to start with. Ultimately, we do need professionals for both biochemical intervention (medication) and counselling to make biochemical changes 'stick'. But often that is a bigger step in the - by then - diminished decision-making process.

Also, don't know if you know that (other than from your own experience): chronic pain almost INVARIABLY leads to depression. The same biochemicals are involved in coping with pain and stress. So both chronic pain and depression management have to go hand in hand. Many people fall into the trap of thinking that their affect/mood will get better by itself "once the pain is gone". But, the pain may never "go" (but you lear to live with it) but your depression won't go by itself in either case! We DO HAVE TO address both.... WAITING is not an option.
Feel free to contact me privately.

[Glenrob]

......and my usual time for getting up in the morning. It's cold and windy outside. Inside (me), the pain continues as always and the depression rallies on ever present.
After a few cuppas, I am going back to bed.....standard procedure these days. I really wish I could go to my shed and make myself happier and useful.
I will explain myself further and in deeper detail later.

Thanks,
Bob

[DaveTTC]

hey bob, it can be a vicious cycle, hope you can find some way to break it. Are you coming to the T&WWW show in Canbera. There is no end to amount of information on depression out there and differing views. If you would like some other information at all I'd be happy to send you some stuff

[tdrumnut]

Bob firstly thanks for not leaving this forum, secondly please go and spend some time in the shed, the shed is your friend.

[Sawdust Maker]

Bye .... and welcome back :2tsup:

you can stay on the forum forever, evenif you just lurk but participation is better.

and I agree go out to the shed, even if you just sit at the bench and have a cuppa. I always feel better after a little bit of procrastination or deep thought time :wink:

[delbs]

Bye .... and welcome back :2tsup:

you can stay on the forum forever, evenif you just lurk but participation is better.

and I agree go out to the shed, even if you just sit at the bench and have a cuppa. I always feel better after a little bit of procrastination or deep thought time :wink:

I do exactly that, go out and look at the placement of all of my machines etc and try figure out how i can do it better or what i need to build next. Next thing i know many hours have past :p

[Glenrob]

hey bob, it can be a vicious cycle, hope you can find some way to break it. Are you coming to the T&WWW show in Canbera. There is no end to amount of information on depression out there and differing views. If you would like some other information at all I'd be happy to send you some stuff

Dave,
Thanks for the offer, but I've been to every specialist, every self help group, every on line Depression site (Men's Shed inclusive), the only place I found that was manned by people who REALLY listened is called "Dads in Distress" who are based in Coffs Harbour. Great guys and very friendly and helpful.

" one in six adults suffer clinical depressions (not reactive depression as a result of an actual loss) at least once in the lives."........ I lost both my Grandparents over the space of a few years. They were the most loved people in my entire life. :cry4:
Then to have my mother tell me, after my father died a few years ago, that he hated me during the whole time they were together, has just about destroyed me altogether. I knew we didn't get on while he was at home, but towards the end I had reconciled with him and was the last person in our family to visit him before he had a small stroke. To go from being to one to wipe his backside after using a bedpan at home, to standing in his room at hospital and having him look me in the face and say that he didn't know who I was!:no:
Enough said now thanks. I can't handle anymore.

Everyone else is right tho....just getting out into my shed is a big help. It's just getting the strength to make the move that's the hardest part.
I've started a project just to keep my moving, out of the house and into my shed. I've posted in the router forum about building 2 router tables. The first is slightly different from the norm. I posted a pic of the design I'm basing it on. This is while I'm waiting for the Incra Positioner to arrive.

Thank You one and all,
Bob

[crowie]

G'Day Bob,
I can vouch for the health benefits of the shed; it helps the heart, hands and head all at once.....
Plus the blokes & ladies of this forum, IMHO are just great when it comes to support and encouragement.
Life's good and I want to enjoy each new day.
Cheers crowie

[DaveTTC]

hope you can make it down to Canberra some how for the wood working show. I should be there all 3 days and you'll prob catch me at he forum lounge if you wanna catch up.

If you want to help love the help.

Something I learned a long time ago is nothing effects people the same. The difference between emotional pain and physical pain - with physical pain and physical scars people can often see why you are in pain where you are scarred etc. Emotional pain is so different and emotional scars cannot be readily seen, they may be discerned by the astute. Keeping busy is a great thing for depression. It is when you stop that it can be hard.

[Glenrob]

hope you can make it down to Canberra some how for the wood working show. I should be there all 3 days and you'll prob catch me at he forum lounge if you wanna catch up.

If you want to help love the help.

Something I learned a long time ago is nothing effects people the same. The difference between emotional pain and physical pain - with physical pain and physical scars people can often see why you are in pain where you are scarred etc. Emotional pain is so different and emotional scars cannot be readily seen, they may be discerned by the astute. Keeping busy is a great thing for depression. It is when you stop that it can be hard.

Dave,

I'd given serious consideration to going to the Canberra show even though I've already been to the Sydney one with my son and his family. It was great to have them along, but there's just no way to take it all in when you have to please others as well.
The only other thing holding me back is my dog. Even though he loves riding in the car I'd have to go outside often and let him do his thing and that's even providing that there's a place for that.
I've been to Canberra plenty of times, mainly for the Summernats, but I've yet to find out exactly where the WW show is being held in relation to that place. I could leave him at home, but that would mean locking him inside all day.
Living where I do, there's no "backyard" to fence him in, but I'll definitely be giving it some thought.
I'll leave you with a few of the pics I took today, mainly inside the shed, but here are two for starters. One is of my closest companion "George" my short haired Border Collie. The smartest little bugger on four legs, and also part of my back yard....not sure which tho.
I'll be posting the rest into their respective Forums after I've finished here.

Cheers,
Bob

ps....Dear Mods,
Being the most honest, generous and kind hearted gentlemen that we all know you to be. If I could kneel, I'd be grovelling at your feet right now. ..... (God this is sickening isn't it?:roll:)
I am just asking that I be allowed to show these pics here to my friends to show that because of all their support, my head is in a much better place right now.
Besides, I have already berated myself severely and slapped myself several times over the wrist with a tram ticket. Now if that doesn't show my age I don't know what will.:no:

Respectfully,
Grasshopper.

[DaveTTC]

I'll try and find some pics of where the show will be held and the surroundings. If I get a chance and find them I'll post them here tonight.

[Sturdee]

Dave,
Thanks for the offer, but I've been to every specialist, every self help group, every on line Depression site (Men's Shed inclusive), the only place I found that was manned by people who REALLY listened is called "Dads in Distress" who are based in Coffs Harbour. Great guys and very friendly and helpful.


Bob

Bob,

Have you gone to a local Men Shed, not the on line website but the real bricks and mortar building with real guys present. I'm sure that being among them would help you tremendously.

I'm a volunteer at our local men's shed setup, and run, by the local community health service and all the guys have had some kind of problem or demon to concur.

All the guys look after each other and even I, when I found out I had prostate cancer, was helped greatly by the support and being able to talk it over with others who had it.

I know all sheds are different but I'm sure that being in company of guys that don't judge will be helpful and will force you to get out again.

Peter.

[RicB]

Welcome back Bob!
I can imagine that you feel alone in your struggle - sadly all of us who suffer with this bloody condition think that at times.
Here are some statistics for you (that you may already know - just to remind you): one in six adults suffer clinical depressions (not reactive depression as a result of an actual loss) at least once in the lives. Only half ever seek help. THis forum has 81,153 Members, Currently Active 10,454. That means you and I are members of a potential support community of around 1742 people! So 871 active members KNOW they have our condition AND have sought or are getting help

Hi Bob, you are not alone, I am #672 (of the 871). I have suffered my whole life, but there has always been times between bouts, sometimes quite long, when I feel normal. It is these times that get me through the bad times. I know it will get better.

As for getting out of bed, one of the best things you can do is set small tasks, don't look ahead, one thing at a time or it is easy to get overwhelmed. I would do this all the time, I would think about all the things that would need to be done for a particular project, by the end of the thought process it was all too much and I wouldn't bother. What I started doing was, think what do I need to do first, and then I would go do it. If that meant going to Bunnings, off to Bunnings, if it meant clearing a space in the shed....clean your shed. After you have done that, what is the next step etc.

This may not cure your depression, but it will get you out of bed, lounge, chair, bar....once you are busy and you have completed something, you feel like doing more, before you know it....it's finished. Stepping back and looking at a completed project is good medicine.

You did a smart thing by asking for help, not directly, but nevertheless, you got help. There has been a real change in society lately to mental health, some of the replies you have received are proof. Only a few good work mates, where I work, know I have mental health issues. An interesting thing happened at work a few months ago. One of the younger guys had a breakdown and was on two weeks sick leave. Now bear in mind that very few people at my work know I suffer from a mental illness, so I would sit back and listen when the subject came up "where's Davo" (not his real name, his real name is Johnno), and to my surprise all the comments were supportive, and as the subject widened into mental health issues there was a real understanding that it needs to be brought out and discussed so others can help. When he came back there was no finger pointing or funny looks, it was "good to see you back mate". Not all workplaces are like this but it is promising.

So you are not alone Bob, if you need a chat, FF to PM.:)

[marklr]

Great wrap up Soredust

Well said and great advice


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[FenceFurniture]

FF to PM.:)Mate, thank you SO much for the endorsement, but there's a coupla members here that would have a fit if that happened.

Cheers
FF
:D

[DaveTTC]

Some nice positive stuff here. Loving it. I grew up with my mother diagnosed with bipolar or in those days it was manic depression. It had a huge impact in my life. I would often end up on the care of others as she would sometimes spend several weeks or more in hospital at a go and could have stints like that a few times a year. Sometimes it was only 3 or 4 weeks.

I've had major depression but think or was because of loss. It had significant impact on me at several points in my life. I try to keep positive maybe overly so. I try to see the funny or humorous side of everything. That may be coping mechanism.

Bob - though it was not your ambition at the time, this thread looks to serve a very positive outcome

Thank you.

ps still hoping to see you in Canberra if you can swing it.

[RicB]

Mate, thank you SO much for the endorsement, but there's a coupla members here that would have a fit if that happened.

Cheers
FF
:D

I dunno, you couldn't be much worse than the other two......:U

[FenceFurniture]

I dunno, you couldn't be much worse than the other two......:UI presume you mean the other two pollies. :roflmao2:

[RicB]

I'm voting for this guy.....281339:2tsup:

[DaveTTC]

I'm voting for this guy.....<img src="http://www.woodworkforums.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=281339"/>:2tsup:

With over 10 000 active members one would think he would get 10 000 votes lol

[pmcgee]

One is of my closest companion "George" my short haired Border Collie. The smartest little bugger on four legs, and also part of my back yard....not sure which tho.
Cheers,
Bob
Grasshopper.
One option is a bought or home-made crate. Even a double cargo-barrier -type arrangement.
Park under a tree, leave the windows down and/or doors open ... water in a bowl ... Canberra's not known for its heatwaves is it? :)

Our new baby came to work 2nd day she was here from SA ... she has a bigger one (adult-sized) in the lounge-room that now mostly sits with the door open. She treats it like her bedroom.

Cheers and all the best,
Paul

281784 281785

[Mr Brush]

Nah - our Rhodesian Ridgeback spent her first 6 months living in an old TV cardboard box, until I scrounged enough scrap timber from surrounding building sites to build a kennel.

This allows the dog to adjust the entrance size as they grow......

[Timless Timber]

My Border Collie won't use any of the kennels or crates etc we bought for him over the years, and why should he? He's smart enough to open any doors in the house and let himself in, wherever he wants to go, fly wire security doors, timber doors - you name it he opens them at will, but do you think I can get the batsurd to close them behind him? Like my cheese & kisses I think he was born in a tent... so I go to work to pay for heating & air conditioning the entire earths atmosphere... heck I KNOW exactly whats causing global warming and they all live at my fricken place! :~ :doh:

[Gra]

I'm voting for this guy.....281339:2tsup:

That would almost get me to vote for him... almost

[Gra]

Something more for those of us

281807

[Mr Brush]

My Border Collie won't use any of the kennels or crates etc we bought for him over the years, and why should he? He's smart enough to open any doors in the house and let himself in, wherever he wants to go, fly wire security doors, timber doors - you name it he opens them at will, but do you think I can get the batsurd to close them behind him? Like my cheese & kisses I think he was born in a tent... so I go to work to pay for heating & air conditioning the entire earths atmosphere... heck I KNOW exactly whats causing global warming and they all live at my fricken place! :~ :doh:

You think you got problems?? Ours knows how to work a slow combustion heater, and can move her bed around. :D All the humans are outside in the cold :oo:

[Glenrob]

Something more for those of us

281807

Gra,

That's it in a nutshell. Nice quote in a tragic kind of way.

It's been a while since I'd last visited this post, and what do I first see? A bloody great photo of Tony Abbot............now I really AM depressed!:roll:

[Dengue]

Hey Glenrob, what areas of woodwork are you good at? Turning, box making, milling? What is the best item that you have made?

Have you ever done any volunteering or consulting work?

[Glenrob]

I'm sorry guys, but the pain is back and it's just too damn much.....both physical and mental.
I need a bloody big hole to crawl into.
I really wish I could be flippant and jovial, but it's just not in me right now.

Sorry,
Bob

[Glenrob]

Hi All,

It's been around 5 hours since I wrote the above posting, and while I thought of being able to sneak back in and just delete it, I've given it a lot of thought during that time and I've decided to leave it there and wake up to myself, and as such I owe everyone an apology and a BIG Thank You both at the same time.

After writing this post, I could have done one of two things.....sulked off back to bed or face up to this pig of a disease and at least TRY to do something more positive than sit here and wallow in self pity and useless anguish.

I know that I've subjected you all to this crap of mine way too many times already, and to my relief I've received nothing but absolute understanding and helpful, positive support. For me to ignore all this wonderful backing and understanding, and instead stick my head in the sand and wait for things to "blow over", I finally took everyone's advice and suggestions and weighed them against the misery of suffering alone and ultimately feeling worse off.

So...I dragged my pitiful backside out of the chair and went out to my shed and virtually did not much of anything, but in just making that move to my ratty old loveable shed, I could feel right away in myself that I had done the correct thing.
Had I stayed in the house (or worse, in bed), I would be giving in and letting this damn menace in my head win over and that wouldn't be fair to myself or to the many others who have helped me by "outing" themselves as fellow sufferers.
Not only would it be unfair to them, but it would be utterly selfish of me to not take heed of their kindness and openness, and do nothing to help myself.

Here I now sit after a few hours in my shed....... I made nothing, I fixed nothing, but I made the effort and I WON!
I may have accomplished very little in a material sense during that time, but I made a huge leap into positive thinking and I count that as a win, not just for myself, but for every other sufferer here and for THIS Forum and the fantastic people who have made it the place that it is.
They are here not only for the feel of the wood in their hands and not only for the smell of the glue or watching the shavings pile up at their feet, they are here because we are a group of like minded souls who share and care for others as well as our passion for all things wood, and for that I Thank You one and all from the bottom of my heart.:2tsup:

May all your splinters be little ones,
Bob

[Gra]

Bob, any win over the lack dog is a win. Take it and tomorrow when faced with the same decision remember how good it get to have a win and go out again. It's all about baby steps small step will drag you out of the hole. Remember some f us are travelling the same road some are ahead of you some behind all we can do is support each other

[coffenup]

glenrob
I hope you are doing well
many regards Michael

[Timless Timber]

Each day, is one step closer to feeling a little better than you did today.

Time is the healer you need.

You cannot hasten the harvest, by going out at night and tugging on the shoots!

You cannot push the river.... to flow faster.

Time takes.......time.

Yesterday is history, and tomorrow's a Mystery, while today is "the present" because its a gift from God.

Just concentrate on making today OK and the yesterdays and tomorrows, can look after themselves.

This is how one lets time do its thing. Concentrate on the now.

Do whatever you can NOW - to make today OK.

Worry about tomorrow, when tomorrow comes.

In retrospect.... my own "salvation" from this dreaded disease... was assisted a bit in the early stages...by use of herbal "st johns wart" pills from the health food shop...BUT if I am to be totally honest, probably the greatest benefit was from about 4 or 5 sessions of hypnotherapy once a week.

I would come home from them feeling so happy it wasn't decent.

Many (including myself most of my early life) would not give any credence to the power of post hypnotic suggestion.

My experience convinced me...

Will it "cure you" overnight - no - will it make the road to recovery MUCH faster and easier? Most Likely!

I may have neglected to mention this...treatment option, in my previous post in this thread - in fact I only just remembered it.

You could do worse than to give it a try - what have you to lose?

Another 2c.