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NewLou
4th June 2005, 11:03 PM
Could be something Handy here:

http://about-the-web.com/shtml/reports/remedies_formulas.shtml

REgards Lou

ozwinner
5th June 2005, 10:05 AM
Heres a sample..


Bed Bug Killer! Mix equal parts wood alcohol and creosote.
(sure would work, but where do you sleep?)

Mosquito Repellent! Ethyl hexanediol sprinkled around breeding areas.
( theirs or ours? )

Plant to Keep Mosquitos Away! The castor bean plant. Seeds available from any nursery. Plant in pots within the house; replant outdoors. Decorative and they grow like weeds!
(now we need the remedy to get rid of the weeds)

Burn Out Carbon in a Motor! Disconnect windshield wiper tube from intake manifold. Substitute another tube leading to a container of hydrogen peroxide. Allow this to be drawn into idling motor. Excess oxygen will burn out the carbon deposits.
( can someone please try this and report back?)

Keep Grass from Growing Near Walks! Saturate the strip with used motor oil. Not new oil.
(never ever use new oil!!)

Camp Stove - Carry in Your Pocket! Fill a can with sand and saturate with gasoline, kerosene, alcohol, etc.
( cant wait for someone to report on this one!)

Mosquitos Won't Bite: Four parts glycerine, 4 parts alcohol, 1 part eucalyptus oil. Or make a solution of equal parts of isopropyl alcohol and methyl phthalate
(drink this, and you wont care if they bite you.)

One more
Appendicitis Attack! NEVER give a laxative. Assist victim to stand on head until doctor comes.
( its a bit hard to stand on their head, when its tucked into their guts, )

Al :D

Ps. Thanks Lou

NewLou
5th June 2005, 12:21 PM
http://www.ubeaut.biz/flamer.gif



http://www.ubeaut.biz/toothless.gif

.........Good on Ya!!!!!!

ozwinner
5th June 2005, 08:07 PM
Some more....


A Drinker Will Dislike the Taste of Alcohol! A few drops of tincture of ipecac (a word which is sometimes known as ipecacuanha). Consult your pharmacist
(The drinker will then dislike you )

Open Most Sinks and Drains! Pour in a little kerosene. Let stand overnight. Results not immediate.
( dont smoke while doing it )

Mosquito Remedy! Mix oil of citronella in a common vaseline and apply to exposed areas.
( very hard to get into their little armpits though)

Hydrocotyle Asiatic Teas Are a Brain Food! Energizes and preserves the brain and body indefinitely. Noted for making geniuses.
(only a geniuse would know what this stuff is )

Dandruff: coconut oil is most effective for stubborn cases. Superfluous Hair: Use 20 vol. peroxide. This is not the ordinary peroxide but twice as strong. This will in time discourage hair growth
( I must admit, I havent seen a coconut with dandruff)

Gray Hair! Massage sulphur well into the scalp once a week for a few weeks, and partake of sulphur foods whenever possible
(try to avoid eating garlic at the same time, as the garlic smells)

Arthritis! Take 2 tbsp. orange juice thoroughly mixed with 1 tbsp. codliver oil on an empty stomach just before bedtime at night after several hours have elapsed after the evening meal. Eat no food or drink, no liquid of any kind, for a number of hours after taking the oil. This lapse of time allows the stomach to empty and bile flow to subside. Then when the whole digestive system is resting, the oiled orange juice will pass into the bloodstream and is readily absorbed by the bone structure which comprise the malady. Many folks have tried this and have had no occurrence of arthritis since the after years of being partially crippled.
( they died)

Magical Fish Bait Gets the Big Ones! Use oil of Rhodium, 1 ounce, mixed with 1/2 ounce of oil of anise. Put on bait.
(do not eat the fish, as Rhodium is poison)

Cuticle Remover! Thirty ounces potassium hydroxide, 5 gallons water, 100 ounces glycerine.
(but I like my cuticles)

Almond Flavor! Mix 1 part oil of bitter almond to 49 parts sherry wine.
( whats wrong with useing almonds?)

Banana Flavor! Mix 8 ounces banana flavor with 1 gallon of edible corn oil.
( whats wrong with useing bananas?)

Sweet Pea Toilet Water! Dissolve 72 ounces of oil of sweet pea into 27 gallons of alcohol and add 11 gallons of water.
( 27 gallons of alcohol!!!!????)

Al :D

DanP
5th June 2005, 08:37 PM
Al,

You must have fuggin big cuticles.

Dan

Driver
5th June 2005, 08:48 PM
Gray Hair! Massage sulphur well into the scalp once a week for a few weeks, and partake of sulphur foods whenever possible
(try to avoid eating garlic at the same time, as the garlic smells)

I'd rather have the grey hair (actually, of recent times, any hair would be good :eek: )



Almond Flavor! Mix 1 part oil of bitter almond to 49 parts sherry wine.
( whats wrong with useing almonds?)
After shlurpin' the 49 partsh of sherry wine, who tha hell caresh about the bloody almondsh - anywhoo? Hic!!



Sweet Pea Toilet Water! Dissolve 72 ounces of oil of sweet pea into 27 gallons of alcohol and add 11 gallons of water.
( 27 gallons of alcohol!!!!????)

Lishen!! (Burp) Hic!! Ya can't get 27 gallonsa alkyhol down tha bluddy toilet!! Ah'm tellinya! Tried and ish all over tha floor!! Helluva mess! I blame that bluddy sherry wine n' almonds thingo! Hooze idea was that, anyway? Eh! Hic!!

gatiep
5th June 2005, 08:57 PM
In my youth, when pharmacy was pharmacy it was our job to mix and triturate lots of concoctions, much 'worse' than the ones mentioned. Nowaday they are glorified despatch clerks, don't even make mixtures, suppositories or count pills.