Eve and Adam

[Tikki]

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.



"Lord, I have a problem!"

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What's a man, Lord?"

"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. What's the catch, Lord?"

"Well ... you can have him on one condition."

"What's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring ... So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret...

"You know, woman to woman."

[echnidna]

:D :D :D Heresy :D :D :D

[Auld Bassoon]

Beyond the pale mate!

[Driver]

This, it seems to me, may constitute a serious breach of the Code of Practice! :mad:

[AlexS]

I'll give you a greenie for that, but don't tell any of the blokes! ;)

[bitingmidge]

Look chaps, it's just lost a bit in the translation:

What actually happened was that it was Adam who got lonely and God offered to fix the problem.

Scholars are a bit undecided as to whether he took one of Adam's ribs and mixed it with a bit of spit and dirt or what actually came next, but here is a general consensus that in no time at all there was an Eve, lying there in a semi conscious state.

The actual discussion between Adam and God went something like this apparently:

Adam (standing back a bit): What's that?

God: I made her for you Adam so you'd have someone to love, why don't you take a closer look.

A: It's beuuuuuuutiful!

G: Yep, I made her like that so you'd love her.
Why don't you touch her?

A: (gingerly strokes Eve's thigh) "It's sooooo amazingly soft too"

G: Yep, I made her like that so you'd love her.
Why don't you talk to her?

Adam and Eve retire behind some trees to acquaint themselves, however a few minutes later Adam comes back a bit disgruntled.

"Hoy, God!!! She's nice to look at and to touch, but SHE'S STUPID!!!"

"Yep, I made her like that so SHE'd love YOU."

;)

[gatiep]

Yeah a joke it is indeed!!!!!:D

[ernknot]

Geeez! I am glad that recovered. A jokes a joke, but mate! this is scarey!

[RETIRED]

I am afraid that I have to agree with Tikki that God is aindeed a woman.

If He was male we would have 3 hands. :D

[Tikki]

I am afraid that I have to agree with Tikki that God is aindeed a woman.

If He was male we would have 3 hands. :D
:D :D :D :D
The mind boggles , but I ain't going there!! ;)

[Iain]

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She

went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.



The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you

three wishes."



The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to

mention that there was a condition to your wishes.



Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The frog said,



"That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful

woman in the world.



The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your

husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will

flock to".



The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful

Woman and he will have eyes only for me."



So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second

wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.



The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world.

And he will be ten times richer than you.



"The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his

is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!



The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a

mild heart attack."



Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.



Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here

and continue feeling good.



Male readers: Please scroll down.







































The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!



Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.



Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show



PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show

that some women never listen!!!

[Grunt]

She should have said "I wish my reproductive organs were 10% smaller".