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View Full Version : He follered me home ma, can we keep him??



bitingmidge
18th July 2005, 04:54 PM
Here's a picture of our pet Canadian, straight from his ordeal with the rubber-gloved customs officials, (which probably explains why he's so happy looking!)

Yes folks, MathewA has NO MORE SLEEPS to go!

Pic taken midday, Brisbane International Airport.

Can you find Mat's Muji now??

Cheers,

P (throwing down the "Welcome, Mat")
:D :D :D

Wood Borer
18th July 2005, 04:59 PM
His face looks familiar!

Please welcome him in the true blue traditional way to see if he passes the test. Let's know the results :D

outback
18th July 2005, 05:14 PM
May I suggest a half blind secret dovetail cutting competition about 1.30 a.m., just to see if he can handle himself with proper decorum and all.



Welcome, Mat......... that's funny.

Wood Borer
18th July 2005, 05:19 PM
May I suggest a half blind secret dovetail cutting competition about 1.30 a.m., just to see if he can handle himself with proper decorum and all.

Being Half Blind is the secret of course. :D

I notice he hasn't changed his Avatar yet - what's he been doing?

Welcome Mathew.

bitingmidge
18th July 2005, 05:20 PM
Should I wait a day or two till he's over the jetlag, or get into it during drinks in the middle of the first session of the first Test on Thursday night??

Cheers,

P

flea1607
18th July 2005, 05:30 PM
Bitingmidge - just make sure that you worm him regularly, check him for ticks and all his vaccinations are up to date. :D

Cliff Rogers
18th July 2005, 05:32 PM
.... Can you find Mat's Muji now??....

Yeap, and judging by the guy in the background, I can guess where you had it hidden too. :D :D :D

outback
18th July 2005, 05:39 PM
Bitingmidge - just make sure that you worm him regularly, check him for ticks and all his vaccinations are up to date. :D


Sounds like a well oiled routine, obviously this is what happens to Squizz. :D :D

Wood Borer
18th July 2005, 05:44 PM
Bitingmidge - just make sure that you worm him regularly, check him for ticks and all his vaccinations are up to date. :D

Midge,

Only go as far as Flea's suggestion and not the next logical step - Ouch :eek:

Zed
18th July 2005, 05:45 PM
Should I wait a day or two till he's over the jetlag, or get into it during drinks in the middle of the first session of the first Test on Thursday night??

Cheers,

P

for gods sake dont inflict cricket on him..

Rocker
18th July 2005, 05:48 PM
Midge,

Remind him that, when he wishes to use the preposition 'about', he should pronounce it like when you say 'a bout' [of 'flu, or whatever], not as though he is referring to an article of Mounties' footwear, as Canadians are prone to do :rolleyes:

Anyway, didn't you mention you might have an Open Day sometime soon? Seems like a good time to let us meet him; he certainly looks as though he might be dinky di in a year or two :)

Rocker

bitingmidge
18th July 2005, 05:54 PM
Anyway, didn't you mention you might have an Open Day sometime soon? Seems like a good time to let us meet him; he certainly looks as though he might be dinky di in a year or two :)

Sadly, due to my hectic travel schedule ;), I've had to delay the open day till latish September, I'll set the date shortly eh?

He's been quite well behaved so far!

P
:D :D :D

Gumby
18th July 2005, 05:58 PM
Midge, don't let him near any power tools until you've explained that electricity runs the other way in the southern hemisphere. He may hurt himself. :eek:
Drill bits rotate counter clockwise to drill a hole, clockwise to unscrew, and saw blades run the other way which is why we have the teeth on the back. I'll bet he doesn't know any of that ;)

E. maculata
18th July 2005, 06:48 PM
Welcome Mat, please don't hold our customs officials against us, we're not all that way ;)

ozwinner
18th July 2005, 06:49 PM
Welcome Matt. http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/edoom/Peace!.gif

Dont beleive a word these roughiens say, they all talk crap.
I on the other hand................:rolleyes:

Al :D

E. maculata
18th July 2005, 06:50 PM
for gods sake dont inflict cricket on him..
Zeds right, if you inflict that on Mat he'll dob himself in to immigration, just to get away from it.

flea1607
18th July 2005, 06:56 PM
Sounds like a well oiled routine, obviously this is what happens to Squizz. :D :D
Most definately ;)

MajorPanic
18th July 2005, 08:08 PM
Mat!!!!!!!

You didn't believe Midge did you????????

The rubber glove inspection was optional!!!!!!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

ozwinner
18th July 2005, 08:08 PM
Hey Midge.

When ya get sick of him, dont take him to the pound, send him down here, he looks kinda quite..

Al :cool:

fxst
18th July 2005, 10:13 PM
Welcome Matt. http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/edoom/Peace!.gif

Dont beleive a word these roughiens say, they all talk crap.
I on the other hand................:rolleyes:

Al :D
Own a Crapatorium :D :D
Pete

bsrlee
18th July 2005, 11:02 PM
BEFORE he gets over the Jetlag, get him to a good pub & let him sample the local offerings. When he recovers from that he'll - 1) be over the jetlag, & 2) remember that the beer in Oz is much better & stronger than the swill (actually being polite here - Norte Americanos of my acquaintance refer to horses) that is inflicted on the drinking public by the Septic mega-brewers.

Of course if he was in Sydney we'd have to take him to the Lord Nelson for a ploughman's plate & a pint or two of Old Admiral.

Grunt
18th July 2005, 11:10 PM
I think the most important thing to find out is whether he is toilet trained or not?

Harry72
18th July 2005, 11:17 PM
Welcome to Oz Matty!

namtrak
19th July 2005, 08:39 AM
Welcome to Oz

outback
19th July 2005, 09:20 AM
I think the most important thing to find out is whether he is toilet trained or not?

Are you insinuating that he'd look out of place at Midges place if he was? :D

Wood Borer
19th July 2005, 09:56 AM
It might be advisable for Midge to clean the shavings off the shed floor until he figures out if he is trained.

Wongo
19th July 2005, 10:03 AM
Ni Hao Mat, Welcome to OZtria. :D

keith53
19th July 2005, 10:25 AM
Welcome Matt

Hope everything works out OK.

Cheers,
Keith

AlexS
19th July 2005, 02:10 PM
Welcome Matt, hope all goes well.

Cheers,
Alex

Spin Doctor
20th July 2005, 08:12 PM
Crikey What's the country coming to!!! They'll let any mongrel in the bloody place!!! The place has gone to the dogs!!!

ozwinner
20th July 2005, 08:16 PM
Woof, woof....


Meow. :)

bitingmidge
20th July 2005, 10:01 PM
You'll have to excuse my friend....... .. well no you don't!! :D :D

I just thought I'd spend a day or two teaching him how to melt in with the locals, you know, always wear a knotted handkerchief as a hat when in the city, sandals are not acceptable footwear unless worn with long white socks, two fingers stuck firmly in the air is the way we signal to policemen that we don't need their assitance.... just the normal stuff we all know, and forget that foreigners may not be aware of.

Besides, he's still living in Vancouver time, and his missus doesn't get here for another month :o.

Watch the day countdown change now!

Cheers,

P
:D :D :D

Driver
20th July 2005, 10:18 PM
You'll have to excuse my friend....... .. well no you don't!! :D :D

I just thought I'd spend a day or two teaching him how to melt in with the locals, you know, always wear a knotted handkerchief as a hat when in the city, sandals are not acceptable footwear unless worn with long white socks, two fingers stuck firmly in the air is the way we signal to policemen that we don't need their assitance.... just the normal stuff we all know, and forget that foreigners may not be aware of.

Besides, he's still living in Vancouver time, and his missus doesn't get here for another month :o.

Watch the day countdown change now!

Cheers,

P
:D :D :D

Brother Midge

I trust that you have advised him of the danger from drop bears and that the only known deterrent is to soak your head in urine before venturing forth? (Of course, this applies only to new chums - those of us who have been here a while have developed the appropriate immunity).

Col

MathewA
20th July 2005, 11:03 PM
Thank you all for the warm welcome. My first couple of days have been great. Thanx to Pete and Jo who have made this hair brained idea of mine a very easy one.

Rocker
21st July 2005, 08:25 AM
Matt,

I have to apologise for the cruelty of our Immigration Minister in sentencing you to spend two years in a hell-hole like Maroochydore. Usually she is kinder to recent arrivals and sends them to resort towns like Woomera or Port Hedland and houses them for free in complexes tastefully decorated with barbed wire. But Dubya has asked the Australian government to be particularly tough on Canadians, in revenge for poisoning the minds of Americans with radical ideas about socialized medicine and suchlike.

Rocker

routermaniac
21st July 2005, 09:56 AM
Anyone from the Veritas land as it should be known is welcome downhere, particularly if he managed to sneak in a few LA jacks.... Did you, did you?????? :)

bitingmidge
21st July 2005, 10:59 AM
I trust that you have advised him of the danger from drop bears and that the only known deterrent is to soak your head in urine before venturing forth? (Of course, this applies only to new chums - those of us who have been here a while have developed the appropriate immunity).

All in good time Mr Driver!

Tonight we have a little drizzle and some cool breeze forecast in the little bush gully nearby, I reckon it will be down near 3° by 4.00 am, so the drop bears will be pretty well out of contention, but it will be perfect weather to spot a Qantas I think.

I'll send him out with a stool, a bottle of bundy and a pair of binocs. It's a pity the little buggers are so sensitive and usually don't come out if there's more than one human around, because I'll have to wait at home in bed.

Cheers,

P

:D

Driver
21st July 2005, 11:47 AM
I'll send him out with a stool, a bottle of bundy and a pair of binocs. It's a pity the little buggers are so sensitive and usually don't come out if there's more than one human around, because I'll have to wait at home in bed.


Yerss - this is sound thinking. Introducing him gently to the pleasure of the bush via some Qantas-spotting before exposing him to the more obvious dangers. You're a warm-hearted person, there's no doubt about ya! :D

silentC
21st July 2005, 12:54 PM
Don't listen to them Mat. There's nothing dangerous or peculiar in the Australian bush. The snakes make good pets, especially the brown ones. You can pick them up and stroke them and they will curl around your arm and go to sleep. If you find a large black spider in your boot, don't worry. If you flick it's fangs with your fingernail it will playfully grab your finger and wrestle with it, a bit like a playful little kitten really.

When you go walking, there's no need to take food or water because you can eat everything you see in the Australian bush. All you need is a silly hat. Don't worry about getting lost because Telstra has installed payphones in every tree as a part of their promise to improve communications in the bush.

The only thing you need to be warned about is the beer in QLD. Under no circumstances should you drink it. The locals will try to tempt you by drinking it in front of you and pretending it tastes good. Don't be fooled. All Queenslanders have an esophagus bypass at birth. They can redirect the vile stuff down a different tube, away from their taste buds and MOST importantly, their stomachs. If you swallow it, seek medical attention immediately. The most obvious warning is on the label: 'XXXX', which is the international symbol for poison.

Wood Borer
21st July 2005, 01:39 PM
Don't forget to pat those cute little saltwater crocs. They have "pleasure" nerves under their tongues which they love massaged.

It's obvious but I'll say it anyway - this is why they open their mouths when you go near them because they just love the massaging. Tickling their tonsils is something they also love.

When you see signs BEWARE OF CROCS this is to warn people to be careful because they are such delicate creatures that could easily be injured if you accidently step on them especially the larger ones because they are so old and fragile.

AlexS
21st July 2005, 01:42 PM
Mr C's post is generally accurate, but I am concerned that no one has warned you about the yowies, which are particularly prevalent in your area. They are nocturnal, and have been known to enter houses in search of victims. However, you can divert them from their evil intentions by leaving a couple of beers (NOT the poison labelled XXXX) or bottles of red wine outside your bedroom door.

If you think I'm exaggerating the dangers, try it. I'll bet the drinks are gone in the morning. I'm sure the mayor of Mountain Ck. will confirm this.

Rocker
21st July 2005, 02:30 PM
Nah; the Mayor of Mountain Creek is 'off on his travels'. It may not be generally known, but what he means is that he is busy building a resort near Gladstone, which will be known as 'The town of 1066'. It is designed, I believe, for aging Poms, under an arrangement with Tony Blair and Qantas to relieve over-population in the Old Dart. The idea is to entice all those Britishers who have been kicking themselves that they didn't come over when the fare was ten pounds to enjoy the pleasures of XXXX before they die. Qantas will ensure that most of them die from DVT shortly after their arrival, and the Queensland government will pocket the hefty sums that they have laid out in Stamp Duty for their piece of paradise. A most satisfactory arrangement all round :)

Rocker