I have enough to do..

[RETIRED]

without looking at threads from 2-5 years ago so they have been closed. :D

[craigb]

"Oh yes", thought the denizens of Ubeaut Land, "here we go again." "That's the voice of 'The Ogre', and we all know that when we hear it that...."

[echnidna]

the axe will fall....... so we just did a rip job and jumped to the axe wielders thread instead.........

[boban]

So how do I search them now?? More new threads I guess.

I thinking about getting a new tablesaw.....

[Barry_White]

I think you should be able to search for them and read them, you just wont be able to post to them.

[RETIRED]

Only closed the ones in here that were redundant.

[outback]

said the resident axe weilding mongrel. After which he shook himself down, and trotted back to hide under his bridge for a

[Iain]

session on the Tormek.

[DavidG]

But instead he found a case of ...

[outback]

out of date pancake mixture. Not knowing what to doo, he eventually decided to

[echnidna]

cook it and............

[Sturdee]

... give to all those wearing foilies caps at the woodworking show . They immediately .........



Peter.

[Iain]

wondered why the hell they bought this rubbish, Ozwinner, with a pocket full of woodies cash was seen departing hurriedly from.................

[flea1607]

bowed down to the might .....

[Grunt]

unsure of which response to reply to the woodworkers decided that the might of the Snarly Beast was not messed with so they ...

[flea1607]

doffed their caps and backed away. But it was..........

[ozwinner]

too late http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/anym/dollar.gif

[echnidna]

... coz they were stuck they thought "what the heck" (thats the polite interpretation anyway and was used only to avoid upsetting the axe man) ) so they decided to make it a new storyline on this thread anyway so ........

[Pat]

. . . they could see how far they could go before the axe . . .

[ozwinner]

Shinnngggggg!!


Al :D

[echnidna]

Poor ol' oz ... now he thinks he's :D :D

[ozwinner]

I cant get me voice low enough to be .


Al :o

[echnidna]

Nor yer axe high nuff

[DavidG]

he said as they tightened the clamps on his .....

[flea1607]

new piece of

[outback]

crap, bought from Al's craporium.

Huh, snuffed as he read all the posts, what are these people up to, maybe

[echnidna]

... I started a thread that will go on and on and on.....not like Neils thread that lay around for years until it got going then I zapped it as soon as it started to move.....

[flea1607]

I'll give them another 10 posts before I.....

[Grunt]

pull the pubes of the collective authors out one by one and then chop the ...

[Pat]

. . . the bejeezus out of their . . .

[flea1607]

caps so they will have to...........

[Optimark]

use plenty of Ubeaut wax to .....

[JohnM]

fillin the marks left by the mighty axe

[Iain]

Meanwhile, Roger, VC Scar etc etc looked around at the unfamiliar surrounding and realised that he had inadvertently stepped into the wrong thread.
He heard a distant chant, it was the dulcet tones of MF calling him back to the right thread.
He departed into cyberspace with Oxwinners ill gotten gains.
Oh Dear, wailed Al, feeling his hollow wallet, back to the craporium to try for my next $1,000,000:00.
A black cloud darkened the scene, it was a cloud of fine iron filings from the sharpener, everyone realised that the axe was about to fall again and that I am about to avoid it by going to work...................

[echnidna]

...So Iain went to work in his new occupation as a Donkey Tamer which he had to take up as he ran out of Committees to Crucify, but thats another tail altogether....

[flea1607]

Back the the main problem -- Where was the axe ongoing to fall next...

[Termite]

Maybe on the flying fickle finger of fate. http://www.ubeaut.biz/FLIPA.gif

[echnidna]

or on the trans siberian railway line :D :D :D

[flea1607]

nnnnoooooooooo not the TSR it must be..............

[echnidna]

...hmmm
Rip in the fabric???????????
Was it caused by an AXE?????????????

[flea1607]

Not just by any axe but..........

[Termite]

...the Rippa Rita Slashamatic Special, which as we all know will chop through.....

[Grunt]

the "Axe of Deletion".

The Axe of Deletion was forged ages past by an ancient Tribe of Pigmy Bearded Moderators. The Axe has been handed from generation to generation to the Chosen One named . Each successive generation of Robbos have toiled hard to wielding the Axe of Deletion to purge evil where ever they go.

These Robbos are know to the natives as ...

[echnidna]

... ( to quote the himself) ... Axe Wielder, Mongrel.

[echnidna]

Wonder if it would have been more peaceful for to let a resurected thread continue?

[outback]

This strange thought floated through the minds of the collective forumites whom contributed to its ongoingness.

Just like an argument over where to locate a store or.......

[Pat]

. . . Where to get the next slab from . . .

[Caliban]

When suddenly, from somewhere near Kempsey, NSW came a horrible, deformed creature. Clad in a red flannelette shirt, scratching his beard and telling tales of woe from the trans Siberian Adventure.
"Hovo is dead !" he screamed.
"Felled by the axe of deletion, never to return."
Sadly, however, the force is not to be defeated so easily and the horrible pitiful creature you see before you is his reincarnation. Caliban, the tempestuous beast. Hovo tried to warn you of the dangers of the rip in the fabric of the universe. Now he is its latest victim. Dragged behind a speeding train across frozen tundra would have killed someone less powerful in the force of the rip, but like Roger, he is at his most dangerous when he is dead.
Hovo is gone and only this sad creature remains. After this post no mention will ever be made of the poor fool again.

[flea1607]

. . . Where to get the next slab from . . .
but then they heard the whisltling of a axe as it...........

[Pat]

. . . decended on the . . .

[echnidna]

chooks neck and thought "ahhh Roast Chicken Dinner" for a .....

[Grunt]

change. Better than that roast echidna that I'm forced to eat most nights. With that ...

[echnidna]

( glad I'm Echnidna and not echidna.)
..... With that had a big GRUNT and .....

[Ashore]

...doing as he does when cooking a koala ( so the fur comes offf easily)rolled him in clay and burried it in the hot ashes to cook as a tempting meal for.......

[echnidna]

...Zed.... but is it a decoy......
Is a mongel, axe wielding, chimp eater? :eek:
Is Al Mother Teresa in drag (alias Miss M)

[outback]

HAs anyone seen and Zed and Al in the same room at the same time?

[Christopha]

Jaysus H Keeerist .................. LOCKTHISONETOOFERCRYINOUTLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[outback]

Screamed an ugly old bald man :p from the sidelines, This scurrilous curs keyboard's spacebar had broken from the continuous stream of drivel. Once an adminstrator himself, he fell into darkness when temptation overtook him and the mighty delete axe was wielded in a manor unbecoming an administrator. Since that time he

[Caliban]

He can't. It's personal. It's his own thread, and sort of compelling in a perverted sort of way. So if we believe the prudes of the forum, you should be right at home Chris. ;)

[RETIRED]

For once I agree with Christopha. :eek:

[Neil]

You can't agree with Christopha, it's not a part of your brief.

Carry on with the story folks, it was just getting interesting. :)

[Grunt]

As the beast agreed with the cuddly bald fellow, GOD came down and said stop that while smacking them on the back of the head.

The two looked suitably chastised and then proceeded to ..

[Iain]

look for the key to the thread padlock that had left laying around somewhere.
Maybe Craigb had found it and issued a reddy by way of an infringement for leaving such an item of value laying around before passing it to Neil, but who knows.
Meanwhile......

[NotRalph]

Gentlemen, Gentlemen Please moderate your language, grammar and please cease all of these horrible insinuations about our esteemed, nay, cherished moderators,please, please,please, I beg of you all!

[Grunt]

Gentlemen, Gentlemen Please moderate your language, grammar and please cease all of these horrible insinuations about our esteemed, nay, cherished moderators,please, please,please, I beg of you all!


P!ss Orf

[Iain]

"Yes Messiah" they all cried in unison, "Where shall we P!ss orf off to?"
The Messiah replied....................

[craigb]

"I'm buggered if I know"

[Alias Ralph]

owyergoin Notralph
Seen Real Ralph recently
or Notnotralph
or any other trolls

Long live the Real Ralph, long may he quiz us all, Amen.

[outback]

So the Messiah decided to send the rag tag bunch in search of Ralph, in any incarnation.
It wasn't long before they came across............

[echnidna]

Billy Goat Gruff under the bridge,
whose that trip troppiing on my bridge..
... must be a .......

[ozwinner]

HAs anyone seen and Zed and Al in the same room at the same time?

Yep I saw and myself in the same room.

Al :confused:

[Pat]

. . . it must be an Al-osaurus Rex, stumping down the way . . .

[Grunt]

to his mate Zedasaur who was feeling down because ...

[echnidna]

Al and had been in the same rooom WITOUT ZED....

[Grunt]

I wonder what they got up to?

[echnidna]

if we talk about that the axe might fall...

[Pat]

. . . do we want to know . . . could we deal with the answer . . . what will Zed do now, that Al and are . . .

[flea1607]

But we will never know because...

[Ashore]

Yep I saw and myself in the same room.

Al :confused:

For you to see and yourself at the same time in a room , then it must have been in a mirror but some people don't have reflections,

[craigb]

I wonder what they got up to?

Well turned to Al and said:

"What is it with you and Grunt anyway?"

[JohnM]

Better not to know

[echnidna]

But more fun to know

[outback]

Al replied, "I just like it doggy............

[Grunt]

style as long as I get to wear my leather ...

[craigb]

chaps.

[fxst]

which upset the girls no end as they would like...............

[Caliban]

to be wearing the white leather chaps whilst staring at their own reflections in the secret room... (that's the gist of the story isn't it?)

[echnidna]

... admiring their high leather boots and whips....

[craigb]

when who should walk in but.....

[Pat]

. . . Zed, with his finger up his . . .

[outback]

newly bought thicknesser. It was quite stuck as he had attempted to adjust it to minimize snipe. Jane thought he was a complete prat for sticking his finger in there in the first place. This wasn't the first time he'd stuck something of his some where he shouddn't. Once before he

[Caliban]

...had his outfeed table higher than his cutterhead, which made the girls think he would be a fun guy (fungi??) at a party with tricks like that...

[RETIRED]

You can't agree with Christopha, it's not a part of your brief.

Carry on with the story folks, it was just getting interesting. :)
Bugger

[JohnM]

What's up , broken your axe handle??

[Ian007]

but what impressed the girls most was the tricks he could do in private with his............

[Grunt]

long, red ...

[echnidna]

giant banana which was .....

[Iain]

orgaNICALLY GROWN, hence the red bit on the end.
Squealls of delight where heard from.................

[echnidna]

Zed, who stood back to admire the sheer beauty of it, while picking his nose.
Suddenly Jane started to scream when Zed's finger got stuck right up his nose and he mumbled...........

[ozwinner]

hmpph wmwwp wimmmpflike cemmpphh