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RETIRED
7th Aug 2005, 09:54 PM
without looking at threads from 2-5 years ago so they have been closed. :D

craigb
7th Aug 2005, 10:33 PM
"Oh yes", thought the denizens of Ubeaut Land, "here we go again." "That's the voice of 'The Ogre', and we all know that when we hear it that...."

echnidna
7th Aug 2005, 10:45 PM
the axe will fall....... so we just did a rip job and jumped to the axe wielders thread instead.........

boban
7th Aug 2005, 10:59 PM
So how do I search them now?? More new threads I guess.

I thinking about getting a new tablesaw.....

Barry_White
7th Aug 2005, 11:48 PM
I think you should be able to search for them and read them, you just wont be able to post to them.

RETIRED
8th Aug 2005, 01:13 AM
Only closed the ones in here that were redundant.

outback
8th Aug 2005, 07:14 PM
said the resident axe weilding mongrel. After which he shook himself down, and trotted back to hide under his bridge for a

Iain
8th Aug 2005, 07:21 PM
session on the Tormek.

DavidG
8th Aug 2005, 08:01 PM
But instead he found a case of ...

outback
8th Aug 2005, 08:03 PM
out of date pancake mixture. Not knowing what to doo, he eventually decided to

echnidna
8th Aug 2005, 08:09 PM
cook it and............

Sturdee
8th Aug 2005, 08:25 PM
... give to all those wearing foilies caps at the woodworking show . They immediately .........



Peter.

Iain
8th Aug 2005, 08:38 PM
wondered why the hell they bought this rubbish, Ozwinner, with a pocket full of woodies cash was seen departing hurriedly from.................

flea1607
8th Aug 2005, 08:38 PM
bowed down to the might .....

Grunt
8th Aug 2005, 08:57 PM
unsure of which response to reply to the woodworkers decided that the might of the Snarly Beast was not messed with so they ...

flea1607
8th Aug 2005, 09:23 PM
doffed their caps and backed away. But it was..........

ozwinner
8th Aug 2005, 09:26 PM
too late http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/anym/dollar.gif

echnidna
8th Aug 2005, 09:41 PM
... coz they were stuck they thought "what the heck" (thats the polite interpretation anyway and was used only to avoid upsetting the axe man) ) so they decided to make it a new storyline on this thread anyway so ........

Pat
8th Aug 2005, 09:56 PM
. . . they could see how far they could go before the axe . . .

ozwinner
8th Aug 2005, 10:00 PM
Shinnngggggg!!


Al :D

echnidna
8th Aug 2005, 10:03 PM
Poor ol' oz ... now he thinks he's :D :D

ozwinner
8th Aug 2005, 10:05 PM
I cant get me voice low enough to be .


Al :o

echnidna
8th Aug 2005, 10:07 PM
Nor yer axe high nuff

DavidG
8th Aug 2005, 10:08 PM
he said as they tightened the clamps on his .....

flea1607
8th Aug 2005, 10:16 PM
new piece of

outback
8th Aug 2005, 10:25 PM
crap, bought from Al's craporium.

Huh, snuffed as he read all the posts, what are these people up to, maybe

echnidna
8th Aug 2005, 10:28 PM
... I started a thread that will go on and on and on.....not like Neils thread that lay around for years until it got going then I zapped it as soon as it started to move.....

flea1607
8th Aug 2005, 10:28 PM
I'll give them another 10 posts before I.....

Grunt
8th Aug 2005, 10:32 PM
pull the pubes of the collective authors out one by one and then chop the ...

Pat
8th Aug 2005, 10:40 PM
. . . the bejeezus out of their . . .

flea1607
8th Aug 2005, 10:58 PM
caps so they will have to...........

Optimark
8th Aug 2005, 11:08 PM
use plenty of Ubeaut wax to .....

JohnM
9th Aug 2005, 12:31 AM
fillin the marks left by the mighty axe

Iain
9th Aug 2005, 08:20 AM
Meanwhile, Roger, VC Scar etc etc looked around at the unfamiliar surrounding and realised that he had inadvertently stepped into the wrong thread.
He heard a distant chant, it was the dulcet tones of MF calling him back to the right thread.
He departed into cyberspace with Oxwinners ill gotten gains.
Oh Dear, wailed Al, feeling his hollow wallet, back to the craporium to try for my next $1,000,000:00.
A black cloud darkened the scene, it was a cloud of fine iron filings from the sharpener, everyone realised that the axe was about to fall again and that I am about to avoid it by going to work...................

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 10:24 AM
...So Iain went to work in his new occupation as a Donkey Tamer which he had to take up as he ran out of Committees to Crucify, but thats another tail altogether....

flea1607
9th Aug 2005, 10:32 AM
Back the the main problem -- Where was the axe ongoing to fall next...

Termite
9th Aug 2005, 11:06 AM
Maybe on the flying fickle finger of fate. http://www.ubeaut.biz/FLIPA.gif

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 01:03 PM
or on the trans siberian railway line :D :D :D

flea1607
9th Aug 2005, 01:12 PM
nnnnoooooooooo not the TSR it must be..............

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 02:20 PM
...hmmm
Rip in the fabric???????????
Was it caused by an AXE?????????????

flea1607
9th Aug 2005, 02:39 PM
Not just by any axe but..........

Termite
9th Aug 2005, 02:45 PM
...the Rippa Rita Slashamatic Special, which as we all know will chop through.....

Grunt
9th Aug 2005, 02:50 PM
the "Axe of Deletion".

The Axe of Deletion was forged ages past by an ancient Tribe of Pigmy Bearded Moderators. The Axe has been handed from generation to generation to the Chosen One named . Each successive generation of Robbos have toiled hard to wielding the Axe of Deletion to purge evil where ever they go.

These Robbos are know to the natives as ...

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 03:45 PM
... ( to quote the himself) ... Axe Wielder, Mongrel.

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 03:46 PM
Wonder if it would have been more peaceful for to let a resurected thread continue?

outback
9th Aug 2005, 09:19 PM
This strange thought floated through the minds of the collective forumites whom contributed to its ongoingness.

Just like an argument over where to locate a store or.......

Pat
9th Aug 2005, 09:38 PM
. . . Where to get the next slab from . . .

Caliban
9th Aug 2005, 10:26 PM
When suddenly, from somewhere near Kempsey, NSW came a horrible, deformed creature. Clad in a red flannelette shirt, scratching his beard and telling tales of woe from the trans Siberian Adventure.
"Hovo is dead !" he screamed.
"Felled by the axe of deletion, never to return."
Sadly, however, the force is not to be defeated so easily and the horrible pitiful creature you see before you is his reincarnation. Caliban, the tempestuous beast. Hovo tried to warn you of the dangers of the rip in the fabric of the universe. Now he is its latest victim. Dragged behind a speeding train across frozen tundra would have killed someone less powerful in the force of the rip, but like Roger, he is at his most dangerous when he is dead.
Hovo is gone and only this sad creature remains. After this post no mention will ever be made of the poor fool again.

flea1607
9th Aug 2005, 10:38 PM
. . . Where to get the next slab from . . .
but then they heard the whisltling of a axe as it...........

Pat
9th Aug 2005, 11:06 PM
. . . decended on the . . .

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 11:20 PM
chooks neck and thought "ahhh Roast Chicken Dinner" for a .....

Grunt
9th Aug 2005, 11:33 PM
change. Better than that roast echidna that I'm forced to eat most nights. With that ...

echnidna
9th Aug 2005, 11:48 PM
( glad I'm Echnidna and not echidna.)
..... With that had a big GRUNT and .....

Ashore
9th Aug 2005, 11:56 PM
...doing as he does when cooking a koala ( so the fur comes offf easily)rolled him in clay and burried it in the hot ashes to cook as a tempting meal for.......

echnidna
10th Aug 2005, 12:26 AM
...Zed.... but is it a decoy......
Is a mongel, axe wielding, chimp eater? :eek:
Is Al Mother Teresa in drag (alias Miss M)

outback
11th Aug 2005, 08:04 PM
HAs anyone seen and Zed and Al in the same room at the same time?

Christopha
11th Aug 2005, 08:08 PM
Jaysus H Keeerist .................. LOCKTHISONETOOFERCRYINOUTLOUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

outback
11th Aug 2005, 08:35 PM
Screamed an ugly old bald man :p from the sidelines, This scurrilous curs keyboard's spacebar had broken from the continuous stream of drivel. Once an adminstrator himself, he fell into darkness when temptation overtook him and the mighty delete axe was wielded in a manor unbecoming an administrator. Since that time he

Caliban
11th Aug 2005, 08:37 PM
He can't. It's personal. It's his own thread, and sort of compelling in a perverted sort of way. So if we believe the prudes of the forum, you should be right at home Chris. ;)

RETIRED
11th Aug 2005, 09:07 PM
For once I agree with Christopha. :eek:

Neil
12th Aug 2005, 02:30 PM
You can't agree with Christopha, it's not a part of your brief.

Carry on with the story folks, it was just getting interesting. :)

Grunt
12th Aug 2005, 02:59 PM
As the beast agreed with the cuddly bald fellow, GOD came down and said stop that while smacking them on the back of the head.

The two looked suitably chastised and then proceeded to ..

Iain
12th Aug 2005, 05:57 PM
look for the key to the thread padlock that had left laying around somewhere.
Maybe Craigb had found it and issued a reddy by way of an infringement for leaving such an item of value laying around before passing it to Neil, but who knows.
Meanwhile......

NotRalph
12th Aug 2005, 06:13 PM
Gentlemen, Gentlemen Please moderate your language, grammar and please cease all of these horrible insinuations about our esteemed, nay, cherished moderators,please, please,please, I beg of you all!

Grunt
12th Aug 2005, 06:42 PM
Gentlemen, Gentlemen Please moderate your language, grammar and please cease all of these horrible insinuations about our esteemed, nay, cherished moderators,please, please,please, I beg of you all!


P!ss Orf

Iain
12th Aug 2005, 06:44 PM
"Yes Messiah" they all cried in unison, "Where shall we P!ss orf off to?"
The Messiah replied....................

craigb
12th Aug 2005, 06:47 PM
"I'm buggered if I know"

Alias Ralph
12th Aug 2005, 06:49 PM
owyergoin Notralph
Seen Real Ralph recently
or Notnotralph
or any other trolls

Long live the Real Ralph, long may he quiz us all, Amen.

outback
12th Aug 2005, 07:50 PM
So the Messiah decided to send the rag tag bunch in search of Ralph, in any incarnation.
It wasn't long before they came across............

echnidna
12th Aug 2005, 08:32 PM
Billy Goat Gruff under the bridge,
whose that trip troppiing on my bridge..
... must be a .......

ozwinner
12th Aug 2005, 08:59 PM
HAs anyone seen and Zed and Al in the same room at the same time?

Yep I saw and myself in the same room.

Al :confused:

Pat
12th Aug 2005, 09:42 PM
. . . it must be an Al-osaurus Rex, stumping down the way . . .

Grunt
12th Aug 2005, 10:02 PM
to his mate Zedasaur who was feeling down because ...

echnidna
12th Aug 2005, 10:10 PM
Al and had been in the same rooom WITOUT ZED....

Grunt
12th Aug 2005, 10:12 PM
I wonder what they got up to?

echnidna
12th Aug 2005, 10:18 PM
if we talk about that the axe might fall...

Pat
12th Aug 2005, 10:18 PM
. . . do we want to know . . . could we deal with the answer . . . what will Zed do now, that Al and are . . .

flea1607
12th Aug 2005, 10:18 PM
But we will never know because...

Ashore
12th Aug 2005, 10:24 PM
Yep I saw and myself in the same room.

Al :confused:

For you to see and yourself at the same time in a room , then it must have been in a mirror but some people don't have reflections,

craigb
12th Aug 2005, 10:37 PM
I wonder what they got up to?

Well turned to Al and said:

"What is it with you and Grunt anyway?"

JohnM
12th Aug 2005, 11:42 PM
Better not to know

echnidna
13th Aug 2005, 11:48 AM
But more fun to know

outback
13th Aug 2005, 08:32 PM
Al replied, "I just like it doggy............

Grunt
13th Aug 2005, 09:56 PM
style as long as I get to wear my leather ...

craigb
13th Aug 2005, 10:09 PM
chaps.

fxst
13th Aug 2005, 10:46 PM
which upset the girls no end as they would like...............

Caliban
14th Aug 2005, 06:19 PM
to be wearing the white leather chaps whilst staring at their own reflections in the secret room... (that's the gist of the story isn't it?)

echnidna
14th Aug 2005, 07:11 PM
... admiring their high leather boots and whips....

craigb
14th Aug 2005, 07:29 PM
when who should walk in but.....

Pat
14th Aug 2005, 08:24 PM
. . . Zed, with his finger up his . . .

outback
14th Aug 2005, 09:08 PM
newly bought thicknesser. It was quite stuck as he had attempted to adjust it to minimize snipe. Jane thought he was a complete prat for sticking his finger in there in the first place. This wasn't the first time he'd stuck something of his some where he shouddn't. Once before he

Caliban
14th Aug 2005, 09:40 PM
...had his outfeed table higher than his cutterhead, which made the girls think he would be a fun guy (fungi??) at a party with tricks like that...

RETIRED
14th Aug 2005, 11:38 PM
You can't agree with Christopha, it's not a part of your brief.

Carry on with the story folks, it was just getting interesting. :)
Bugger

JohnM
14th Aug 2005, 11:41 PM
What's up , broken your axe handle??

Ian007
14th Aug 2005, 11:53 PM
but what impressed the girls most was the tricks he could do in private with his............

Grunt
14th Aug 2005, 11:57 PM
long, red ...

echnidna
15th Aug 2005, 11:05 AM
giant banana which was .....

Iain
15th Aug 2005, 07:38 PM
orgaNICALLY GROWN, hence the red bit on the end.
Squealls of delight where heard from.................

echnidna
15th Aug 2005, 07:49 PM
Zed, who stood back to admire the sheer beauty of it, while picking his nose.
Suddenly Jane started to scream when Zed's finger got stuck right up his nose and he mumbled...........

ozwinner
15th Aug 2005, 07:58 PM
hmpph wmwwp wimmmpflike cemmpphh