The English language an why I get confused!

[Simplicity]

The English language,an us.

Why I get confused!!!(some may say easily lol)


I am having a lazy Sunday, after completing five minutes of chores.
(Guild, don’t you hate it)
I couldn’t be bothered doing anything in my creative zone, I did stick my head in there dumped some saws I have collected for another forum member, shut and locked the doors an arrived comfortable on the couch.

I Proceed to flip through my copy of Shop Theroy
By
Henry Ford Trade School.
(Excellent book to read if your that way inclined)

Chapter 9 Files and Filing
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20191020/30b0155c8e3fb985261c74a0d43eb922.jpg


BLUNT, I have spent nearly half a century,I’m 48, presuming a Blunt file was a file I often see at Flea Markets in boxes with other rusty stuff with stupid prices attached.
Of course ,all the other contexts ,blunt knife blunt chisel extra.

With not the ability to draw blood,if run across your hand ,but instead ,depositing a stain of rust an muck[emoji17].
So for the third time in 48 years I’m wrong, in my defence your honour , tho ,really the other two times I was taken out of context[emoji4].

So ,what other “Homonyms” are there out there, that would confuse a simpleton such as myself.
I can think of a few but thought it mite be fun too see what popes up here.

On another side ,note wish my father was here to talk with, he was an English school teacher and loved his beloved English language,the irony of his 5/6 being hopeless at gramma/spelling an English is not lost on me.[emoji55]


Cheers Matt,

[rwbuild]

You summed it up nicely....US.....don't even try to work them out
What does confuse me though is your emoji's, they don't show as a rendered emoji but just display as text ??????

[Simplicity]

You summed it up nicely....US.....don't even try to work them out
What does confuse me though is your emoji's, they don't show as a rendered emoji but just display as text ??????

Ray,
Not sure why my “emoji” font show up probably!!

Cheers Matt.

[Handyjack]

English is a funny language and at the risk of being banned here are a couple.

Rubber - just be careful where you mention this. Some might turn red, some beliefs will ban it and others want to erase with it.

A box. Just what you put in it is in your imagination particularly if you play cricket (and are batting), similarly if you are the batter in baseball you might want to protect what is between your legs (as well as between the ears but that is something different).

Pussy, normally covered in hair, can be sweet of nature, or scratch like a cat.

Trunk - most people would think of being part of an elephant or a container (special box) for luggage. Also found at the rear of cars unless it is a boot or there is an engine in there. In which case it is a what?

[LanceC]

Whilst living in the UK, my boss asked me one day if Australians really were as relaxed as the stereotype suggested. I responded by saying how it was quite normal when you visit someone to just wear thongs (we had been living in QLD). He looked at me with a horrified face until I realised he had understood g-string. I quickly corrected myself to flip-flops. We both had a good laugh though.

Similar thing with Americans. I work with the US military when they come to Australia for joint exercises, and part of the standard briefing they get is to ensure they have thongs for showing. Watching their faces digest this is priceless, until a well meaning Australian spoils the fun by explaining.

Kind regards,
Lance

[Bushmiller]

SWMBO tells a story from her time in the UK when she shared a flat with several poms. She shouted down the stairs from her rooms enquiring whether anybody had some durex. It didn't really improve the situation when she explained she wanted to seal a French letter.

Does anybody remember the US sitcom "The Nanny?" Remember the theme tune where she gets thrown out on her fanny. That is a scenario that has the Aussie female squirming as it is more uncomfortable in Australia than the US.

Regard
Paul

[malb]

I worked in education for quite a while at one stage, and one of the admin officers was a nice recently arrived English lady. One one occasion her Head of Department asked her to bring him some Durex. Reaction was a little bit 'um ah' aghast until a secretary handed her a large roll of sticky tape. She was still getting laughs from this when we last met her 15 years ago.

[Simplicity]

I’m trying to be serious an you blokes can only come up with this stuff [emoji30][emoji30][emoji30]


What about Guard an Fender ?

Cheers Matt.

[rwbuild]

So is this thred seriously funny or knot

[Acco]

What does confuse me though is your emoji's, they don't show as a rendered emoji but just display as text ??????

That would be because he is using emoji from his keyboard rather than the forum based ones

[Bushmiller]

I worked in education for quite a while at one stage, and one of the admin officers was a nice recently arrived English lady. One one occasion her Head of Department asked her to bring him some Durex. Reaction was a little bit 'um ah' aghast until a secretary handed her a large roll of sticky tape. She was still getting laughs from this when we last met her 15 years ago.

At my very first job there was a sticky tape dispenser, the large desk type model, and on it there was a manufacturers label stating "Durex abrasives." I had always thought of this as a little contradictory and self defeating until I heard the wife's story and realsied the different connotation down in Oz.

:D

Regards
Paul

[KBs PensNmore]

As an imigrunt, I came here 65years ago, aged about 9 months on arrival, I still find the English language extremely hard, to compehend.
There are the to's, too and two, to which or witch it may be or is that bee, even then there is the other, which is meat in the sandwich??
It's little wonder that the new Australians, choose to retain their/there own language.
When we first arrived here, my mother spoke only Dutch, my father spoke 9 languages, so it wasn't a problem to him. Mum got hold of newspapers and read them, teaching hersef the language, 15+ years later, she still use Dutch words instead of English in places.
Kryn (in Dutch, it's spelt Krijn)

[rrich]

Ah yes, four absolutely great countries
(Australia, Canada, England and United States)
only separated by a common language.

[rwbuild]

Ah yes, four absolutely great countries
(Australia, Canada, England and United States)
only separated by a common language.

You just started a war with the kiwis

[chambezio]

Hold on......through-threw
plough-plow
though
weather-whether
this is just a few, the last is long

[david.elliott]

weather, whether, and don't forget wether...

[Simplicity]

A few woodwork ones

Plane,vice,soul,drill.

There just a few of or is it off
, I don’t know my head.

[Handyjack]

Another word which causes problems is if you ask for a router.
If you can see this a router has been used.
I have a reply in another thread where I have used a different router.

Just remember which witch is which.

[chambezio]

Not forgetting the silent "p" in surf

[derekcohen]

My wife and I migrated to Sydney 35 years ago from Cape Town. A few months in, my wife took her car to the local mechanic explaining that her hooter was not working. It was a while later that she learned to refer to this as a horn. Of course, in South Africa, a horn is an erection. So if the mechanic has said to her that his horn was not working ...

Regards from Perth

Derek

[rrich]

Another word which causes problems is if you ask for a router.
If you can see this a router has been used.
I have a reply in another thread where I have used a different router.

Just remember which witch is which.

When I was retired from being a computer network engineer, part of my good bye message was,
"From now on all the bits for my routers are optional and extra cost."

Almost nobody understood.

Yes it was involuntarily.

[rwbuild]

and don't forget a wether

[Boringgeoff]

A farmer in NZ who I worked for in the mid 60's had a plough made by Clough.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Hehe.

The wife and I met over the internet. She's Canadian, I was 'ere in Oz, which made face-to-face meetings rather rare. :rolleyes: She finally managed to finagle some holiday time off and headed our way for a grand adventure, in which I took her up the east coast to show her some sights.

The first night we stopped over for the night at the home of a couple of close friends. As we were about ready to crawl into the fart-sack my mate popped his head in and asked "What time do you want to be knocked up in the morning?"

The look on Annette's face was priceless! That took some quick explaining.

A bit later I discovered that she'd packed a few T-shirts in anticipation of our hot weather. (A whole 20oC at the time) Now, she'd packed a Roots brand one. For those who aren't in the know, Roots is a Canadian brand similar to Adidas. This T-shirt, however, was from their kids' line, so as well as the big "Roots" logo emblazoned across the front, in a smaller font to the lower right it was marked "Kids."

Some more explanations and that T-shirt was quickly bundled to the bottom of her bag, never to see the light of the Aussie sun...

The language differences also made for some... interesting... conversations with the in-laws once I finally headed towards the Arctic. But I think I'll keep those particular misunderstanding private for a bit longer. A few decades or so... :q

[malb]

My wife and I migrated to Sydney 35 years ago from Cape Town. A few months in, my wife took her car to the local mechanic explaining that her hooter was not working. It was a while later that she learned to refer to this as a horn. Of course, in South Africa, a horn is an erection. So if the mechanic has said to her that his horn was not working ...

Regards from Perth


Derek

Ah yes, but in Oz a hooter is frequently a breast, so do you refer to the audible warning device as a hooter or a horn, risky either way.

[Carry Pine]

Well how about the word 'cleave'

It can mean to join or to cut in half.