Hartley
29th September 2000, 11:18 AM
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
JEFF KENNETT
If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with an etag and should pay the same toll as all other road users.
STEVE BRACKS
Regional chickens should have the same opportunities to cross roads as chickens living within Melbourne.
DENNIS NAPTHINE
To join my front bench
JOHN HOWARD:
The chicken never ever crossed the road. And it was not forcibly removed from its mother! Anyway, that's a matter for the states and is of no interest to us. The united nations should butt out.
KIM BEASLEY
There WAS a chicken and it DID cross the road. This is a deliberate act by the government to hide the fact that chickens continue to cross Australian roads.
MEG LEES
What if it was not a chicken but a bantam? Minority sectors of our community shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the size of their legs and breasts.
SUSIE O'NEIL
It was a rather sus chicken don't you think. Pretty big for its age
EVELYN SCOTT:
To demonstrate a commitment to reconciliation with indigenous chickens.
PETER COSTELLO:
According to documentation submitted to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the chicken in question was uncooked at the time of its journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if that Chicken actually crossed the road for profit, regardless of its raw/cooked status, the road crossing would be considered by the ATO to be a service for which GST will be imposed.
PAULINE HANSON:
Please explain.
ROBERT DE NIRO:
Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
REV. FRED NILE:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends.
JOHN MARSDEN:
The chicken was an adult. It's a free country. Those little devils peck so deliciously hard!
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and violence by a counter-revolutionary terrorist chicken and we were forced to defend ourselves from the menace by dropping 500 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken, Mommy?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?
HANSIE CRONJE
What if I could guarantee it won't get to the other side?
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?
BILL GATES:
We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
THE CIA:
Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define the word "chicken"?
JULIUS SUMNER-MILLER
Why is it so? Just as this chicken crosses the road, so there is a glass and a half of full cream dairy milk...
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
JEFF KENNETT
If the chicken did cross the road it should have been fitted with an etag and should pay the same toll as all other road users.
STEVE BRACKS
Regional chickens should have the same opportunities to cross roads as chickens living within Melbourne.
DENNIS NAPTHINE
To join my front bench
JOHN HOWARD:
The chicken never ever crossed the road. And it was not forcibly removed from its mother! Anyway, that's a matter for the states and is of no interest to us. The united nations should butt out.
KIM BEASLEY
There WAS a chicken and it DID cross the road. This is a deliberate act by the government to hide the fact that chickens continue to cross Australian roads.
MEG LEES
What if it was not a chicken but a bantam? Minority sectors of our community shouldn't be discriminated against based purely on the size of their legs and breasts.
SUSIE O'NEIL
It was a rather sus chicken don't you think. Pretty big for its age
EVELYN SCOTT:
To demonstrate a commitment to reconciliation with indigenous chickens.
PETER COSTELLO:
According to documentation submitted to the Live Foods Processing Authority, the chicken in question was uncooked at the time of its journey and therefore will not incur a GST charge. However, if that Chicken actually crossed the road for profit, regardless of its raw/cooked status, the road crossing would be considered by the ATO to be a service for which GST will be imposed.
PAULINE HANSON:
Please explain.
ROBERT DE NIRO:
Are you telling me the chicken crossed that road? Is that what you're telling me?
DR. SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens, be they black or white or brown or red or speckled, will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
REV. FRED NILE:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends.
JOHN MARSDEN:
The chicken was an adult. It's a free country. Those little devils peck so deliciously hard!
ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX:
It was a historical inevitability.
SADDAM HUSSEIN:
It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and violence by a counter-revolutionary terrorist chicken and we were forced to defend ourselves from the menace by dropping 500 tons of nerve gas on it.
RONALD REAGAN:
What chicken, Mommy?
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
FOX MULDER:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it's true?
HANSIE CRONJE
What if I could guarantee it won't get to the other side?
FREUD:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. How do you feel about your mother?
BILL GATES:
We have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs (only in the proprietary brown_ms.egg format), file your important documents, and balance your chequebook and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
THE CIA:
Who told you about the chicken? Did you see the chicken? There was no chicken. Please step into the car, sir.
EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define the word "chicken"?
JULIUS SUMNER-MILLER
Why is it so? Just as this chicken crosses the road, so there is a glass and a half of full cream dairy milk...
THE BIBLE:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.