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rsser
26th April 2006, 06:12 PM
- you lay your head on the pillow at night and chips fall out of your ear

- you go for a drive in the country and every fallen tree you see registers like a red and blue flashing light

- you've memorised the dates of the next Working with Wood show in your state

- you can from memory type into your browser the url of every online turning gear retailer in the country

Over to you folks :D

CameronPotter
26th April 2006, 06:30 PM
When you define your "good clothes" as the ones without wood shavings in the pockets.

When you look around the house and realise you are running out of shelf space.

You seriously consider carrying a chainsaw in your car at all times (or bemoan the fact that you don't have a chainsaw).

And next...

Skew ChiDAMN!!
26th April 2006, 08:24 PM
- when your weekly "to do" list includes cleaning woodpulp from the washing machine.

- when all of your cabinetry work in the last twelve months has been building display cases.

- when cleaning the woodchips & debris out of your car boot gives you an extra few miles per gallon.

- when you see a fine piece of handcrafted furniiture and wonder how many bowls or goblets you'd get out of it. :o

- when there are round wax marks instead of whorls in the "fingerprint" section of your police file.

Toasty
26th April 2006, 09:17 PM
When you see a large burl on a tree and you visibly start to salivate

When you start chasing the local tree surgeon's truck to see if they would mind you rooting through the trailer

When you will stop traffic on a busy highway to get a couple of pieces of that unknown wood you just spotted that is cut up and just lying there

When you wish you too lived in a cyclone state each time you see news footage of all the blown down trees

soundman
26th April 2006, 09:25 PM
You look at any and all pieces of "unspoken for" wood regardless of size with almost porographic desire.

You permanently have the smell of shelawax about you.

You stand at the barby tongs in hand.... in a turning stance.

You wear your turning smock soo much people think you are into startreck.

Your hair brush has more timber waste in it than lost hair.

Your wife cuts drive dog crosses in the ends of sweet corn to encourage you to eat vegitables.

Your wife starts wearing underwear made of turned beads just to keep you interested. oooooh thats cuban mahogany.

:D

Skew ChiDAMN!!
26th April 2006, 09:48 PM
- when SWMBO grumpily tells you to "buy your own microwave."

- when SWMBO can't do the dishes 'cos your 20gallon drum of LDD needed topping up.

- when you build a rotisserie for the BBQ and add a tool-rest to "make it look right."

- when you have more drill bits next to the lathe than the drill-press.

- when you buy top-quality sanding belts... just to cut 'em up into small squares.

- when you buy a DC and the lathe is connected before you start to run any ducts.

- when you remove the jack & wheelbrace from the car boot to make room for the chainsaw and 2-stroke.

- when the reason you have a police file is from noticing burls, "homeless" firewood on the roadside, etc, etc.

_ when yeou're in the doghouse 'cos SWMBO understood what you meant by "I'd like to see her cuban mahogany." :D:D

Cliff Rogers
26th April 2006, 10:21 PM
You have 3 chainsaws, one electric(shhhh), one has 4 spare chains & the big one has 2 bars, one for cross cutting & one for ripping, & you want to buy a slab mill. :cool:

You have 4 sheds & you still need to buy a shipping container to store MORE timber. :o

A tree falls on your shed roof & you cut it up & turn it into waxed blanks before you fix the roof. :eek:

You have 3 lathes, 57 chisels, 9 chucks, 6 face plates, 2 grinders, 3 angle grinders, 2 bandsaws, 6 airtool attachments, (4 still in the box), a dremel with the worx, all the weird attachments with hinges & extensions & a partridge in a pear tree. :p

Wood Butcher
26th April 2006, 10:28 PM
I think Cliff wins:p:p

Skew ChiDAMN!!
26th April 2006, 10:40 PM
You have 3 lathes, 57 chisels, 9 chucks, 6 face plates, 2 grinders, 3 angle grinders, 6 airtool attachments, (4 still in the box), a dremel with the worx, all the weird attachments with hinges & extensions & a partridge in a pear tree. :p

Damn it! Seeing your post, I just had to go out and count... and it's cold out there! :eek:

4 1/2 lathes, 51 chisels (not inc. ones currently under construction) 5 chucks, 6 faceplates, 4 grinders, 1 a/grinder, 4 a/tool attachments, dremel with all bar the flexishaft :( plenty of weird attachments. And a post-WW2 military dentist's drill with some really weird attachments! Don't have a partridge in a pear tree... will have to make a nesting box for it as the pear tree's currently soaking in LDD.

All in all, you win. [Phew!] Now I can honestly say: "you think I'm bad? You oughtta check this bloke out. " :D

Waldo
26th April 2006, 11:04 PM
G'day,

• or, SWMBO always yells you not to wear your good clothes when you go down to the shed, but soon enough those good clothers (casual wear) becomes shed clothes because you've spilt paint on them or other.

• you eye off every skip bin or house being demolished because you might be able to rescue some timber

• you haven't washed your pride and joy XR6 in months because it only gets dusty from being in the shed and you love making dust and shavings

• you walk into the shed and daydream about what's in the shed or dream as you wait to fill x space with that lathe or bit of machinery sometime soon.

Lol, another bit of machinery and the passion soon expands

Cliff Rogers
26th April 2006, 11:19 PM
Yeah well Skew... poetic Justice 'n all, its not a pear tree, its a trunk of a mulberry tree & they aren't partridges & theres 9 of them.... bush turkeys that is. :cool:
Next little lie, they are NOT in the shed on the mulberry trunk either, they are all sitting on the trunk of what looks like (hoping) a Qld Maple tree that is over at about 30° to the ground.

PS. I don't have that flexi shaft for the Dremel either, (next show) but I do have a pornography tool with 5 different tips. :D

PPS. Skew, count your sheds....

arose62
26th April 2006, 11:47 PM
* you check the toothpicks in restaurants to see if they have actually been turned.

* each time you approach your spouse, she says "Look what you've made - that's lovely dear", without taking her attention away from the TV.

GC
26th April 2006, 11:48 PM
- you've memorised the dates of the next Working with Wood show in your state

You organise interstate work trips around the woodworking shows in other states, which you have memorised.

GC

Skew ChiDAMN!!
26th April 2006, 11:57 PM
Next little lie, they are NOT in the shed on the mulberry trunk either, they are all sitting on the trunk of what looks like (hoping) a Qld Maple tree that is over at about 30° to the ground.

30°? Unsafe! And I bet you really need the room for that shipping container...


PPS. Skew, count your sheds....

Only 2 sheds. You win! :) Well... 1 shed and half of a 4-car garage; only half 'cos I gotta have somewhere to stand while I'm working. :rolleyes: (Also why I'm a Triton afficiando.)

Oh, yeah there's under the house which is old colonial farmstead, 5' stumps at the back with verandah all 'round. (Suburbia just sprung up around us. :( ) I gotta admit it's chokkers under there... I've started using under the back deck, I really should line it better. But I'm only taking up one side of the verandah! Honest! :o

The saddest thing is, damned little of it's ready to use! [sigh]

Cliff Rogers
27th April 2006, 12:03 AM
.

I think the cat got his tongue. :D

Skew ChiDAMN!!
27th April 2006, 12:22 AM
I think the cat got his tongue. :D

:confused: Bug in the forum sw? Maybe 'twas out in the shed counting tools? :rolleyes:

Cliff Rogers
27th April 2006, 12:49 AM
30°? Unsafe!
It would have landed right on where we were going to put a cabin ('nother shed:D )



And I bet you really need the room for that shipping container...

Nope, missed, that place is well cleared & ready to go.;)


Only 2 sheds. You win! :) Well... 1 shed and half of a 4-car garage; ...Oh, yeah there's under the house which is old colonial farmstead, ...... I've started using under the back deck, ...The saddest thing is, damned little of it's ready to use! [sigh]
Well, the truth is, one of the sheds that I have timber stored in isn't ours & yet another doesn't have power but I do have an 8.5KVA gen set that I borrowed just after Larry last month & I haven't given it back yet. :cool:

Skew ChiDAMN!!
27th April 2006, 01:05 AM
Well, the truth is, one of the sheds that I have timber stored in isn't ours & yet another doesn't have power but I do have an 8.5KVA gen set that I borrowed just after Larry last month & I haven't given it back yet. :cool:

It's nice to have friends with empty sheds, isn't it? Even better if they're not also turners... I dream of the day I can buddy up to a home-miller with a few spare acres of sheds. ;)

Cliff, mate, ol' pal? When are you buying that mill setup? :D:D

Oh, yeah... to get back on topic:

- when you buy a bigger shed to store your timber, not your tools.

Cliff Rogers
27th April 2006, 01:21 AM
...buy a bigger shed to store your timber, .....

We have 10 acres, half under rainforest.

Larry has knocked down more than I can afford a shed for.:(

Once upon a time I used to go bush walking collecting native orchids... bloody Larry has knocked down more native orchids than I ever ever collected.... it is a crying shame to see huge specimens that used to live 20' or 30' up a big tree lying in the mud on the side of the road.:mad:

banksiaman
27th April 2006, 09:06 AM
- when you see a fine piece of handcrafted furniiture and wonder how many bowls or goblets you'd get out of it. :o


Skew,

All of what has been said can be applied to all woodworkers, except the above.
Not being a turner (yet), I look at all the large turnings and think of all the boxes etc I could have made...:(

Chris
:D

CameronPotter
27th April 2006, 09:31 AM
I can sympathise with all of this (well wanting the big/many sheds anyway)...

But I have a few comments:

Firstly, don't worry about the flexshaft for a Dremel, it ain't that good. If you want a flexshaft, get a foredom and be done with it - then get a hammer handpiece, then do some REALLY cool stuff - then decide you want to sell it to me for half price. :D
I have a digital Dremel (digital speed adjustment) with all the bits and pieces. I started off thinking that the flex shaft would be useful, but it isn't really very good.

Secondly, I really can't sympathise with this from Waldo:

you walk into the shed and daydream about what's in the shed or dream as you wait to fill x space with that lathe or bit of machinery sometime soon.

I presently have one shed, it is about 3.5mx3.5m (not big at all).

In it I have a 300lb Anvil on a stump with blacksmithing tools, a soldering station on a large cupboard, a big air compressor with a large sandblaster on top, my lathe with a Triton Router table living under it, a big drill press with a vaccuum cleaner (for running the forge outside) under it, a smaller anvil on a stand (still about 100lbs), a folding saw horse, sandblast media, jewellery tools box, box of turning stuff that won't fit under the lathe, a big workbench with drawers and shelves etc (all full)...

Then I need to find room for my little shop vac, thicknesser (which live inside), bandsaw (which lives at my girlfriends for lack of room here)...

Put it this way - I don't have any room I need to fill up!! :D

reeves
27th April 2006, 09:37 AM
ha ha yes all of the above....

one symtpom dear wife often comments on is an increasing tendancy to go on about the 'Vortex'.

To me thats the effect u get when the wood turns and u remove it, the turning motion i see as connected to basic celestial mechanics, the effort that makes everything hang to gether, moon turns around the earth, earth round sun, sun around galaxy etc etc...

turing wood connects u to this, is enabled by it, earth spinning makes magnetic field, operating electric lathe, trees only have usable wood cos they grow up ^, which is against the force of gravity, which makes wood hard and dense....

turning wood connects me to the basic forces of the universe...which is humbling and gratifying....

i would not say woodturning is better than sex but as one gets a few more years on its certainly more frequent....

cheeeeeeeers
john

RufflyRustic
27th April 2006, 09:42 AM
. You don't get perfume or kitchen ware for presents anymore, you get tools and wood
. wood simply appears at your door occaisionally
. over half your friends are woodworkers
. long drives are no longer boring, just torture because you can't stop for every bit of fallen timber, burl you see along the way
. it doesn't matter how large or how many sheds you have, they are never big enough
. there are no longer enough sunlight hours in the day to get all the woodwork done you wanted to
. I sit and wonder why it took me so long to find this bone-deep inherited passion for wood work
. you get really peeved when you washed your kitchen curtains, ruined them and had to spend your week's woodwork allowance on new curtains

cheers
Wendy

aljenit
27th April 2006, 01:31 PM
you take the family to healesville sanctuary for the day and get the photos processed-only to find there are 36 pictures of branches and burls and none of the little darlings or wildlife:rolleyes:

hughie
27th April 2006, 02:12 PM
Hmmm,

I notice that all my shorts have saw dust in the pockets even when washed.
The two car garage no longer has any cars in it, in fact I can only just get in.
I know of every tree thats cut down for several miles around
Friends sympathetic to my problem drop logs of at the front door late at night.
I have to sell the family car and buy a ute
I have no more room to store wood but keep looking for more
I need more people in my life in order to get rid of my wood turnings
hughie

black1
27th April 2006, 05:09 PM
but I do have a pornography tool with 5 different tips. :D

....

? where can i get one of those.

rsser
27th April 2006, 07:30 PM
? where can i get one of those.

How did ''pornography tool' get past NetNanny?!

Well I think I've been outclassed here in terms of extent of obsession, but maybe I can claim quality of the bug ... viz. acquiring a second-hand Stubby when the Vimarc was perfectly good for what I was doing; involving a day sailing to Tassie, picking up the Stubby in the dark and the wet, hooking up with ptc for a few hours in a kindly offered bed, and heading back for the next day's sailing.

That said, other signs:

- putting a reverse cycle air conditioner and phone line in the shed

- insisting to my partner there's no more room for storage in the shed (without stating the exception which is of course more blanks - erggh, time for flowers :o )

- planning how I can get a pair of speaker wires from the stereo into the shed

But I have to say with beaming modesty there's NO FRIDGE in the shed.

I just carry the beers out of the kitchen.

Lance Stunning
28th April 2006, 04:58 AM
Addicted because...

SWMBO says "It's beautiful!" and you know it could be better.

Seeing all the concrete and steel out my office window, wondering how early I can get home and solve the newest turning challenge.

It's more fun than booze, and cheaper than sex...and your wife says, "Honey, spend all you want on your shop and wood, just not on the first two items previously mentioned!".

Paying payroll taxes for employees wondering if the money is not better spent for high school woodworking classes now sadly discontinued.

Evan Pavlidis
28th April 2006, 06:33 AM
- when you consider knocking down one garage wall and bricking it up again about 2 meters wider to make room for all the timber you dream about having.

- when you begin to give to charity the clothes you no longer wear to clear your built in to make room for storing turning blanks.

- when your best clothes are your woodworking clothes and you go everywhere in them; literally.

- you wished you had acres of property in your younger days to grow your own trees ready for milling in your middle years.

- most of the time you eat in the workshop; havn't slept there yet.

- when neighbours have a go at you for putting tool to wood and making that distinct sound and you wonder what the hell is their problem; it's only 7:00 pm. on Sunday and their kids are making more noise.

Evan Pavlidis
28th April 2006, 06:41 AM
I remembered one more;

- when the office meeting is boring the daylights out of you, (which they always do) you begin to rough sketch tables and chairs and bowls on little post it notes and your boss distracts you from your creative thoughts, you jump up and say STICK (aka timber) it !!!!!!!!

soundman
28th April 2006, 09:19 PM
When you collection of belly button lint is sorted not my cloth colour but timber spicies.

Zed
28th April 2006, 09:26 PM
you are all very sad misbegotten mungrels. get a table saw and build your poor wife some furniture to sit on for gumbys sake!