View Full Version : Bandsaw Blues

1st Nov 2001, 07:35 AM
Cookie was out in his shed shaving 10mm of the size of some Jarrah when all of a sudden the saw slowed and let out a fowl smell.

"Strewth" thought the Cook, "what in the blue blazes is that rotten smell."

Just then Mrs Cook entered the shed with the vicar. Both instantly pinched their noses and said ..................

1st Nov 2001, 10:33 AM
"Goodness me'" said his wife, Monica. "Have you been smoking those wretched cigars out here again?"

(Tee Hee Hee, I'm back!)

Tristan Croll
1st Nov 2001, 03:22 PM
Turning off the saw (safety first, always http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/smile.gif ) he opened the cover and said...

"Now how on earth did that chicken get in there?" http://ubb.ubeaut.com.au/ubb/biggrin.gif

2nd Nov 2001, 04:59 PM
On closer inspection he also saw a very old and smelly egg! Something I've always wanted to know vicar, and you are the very bloke to enlighten me. Which came first?
Whereupon Monica said, "It must have been you, you always come first!" There was a pregnant pause, and then....

John Saxton
7th Nov 2001, 08:37 PM
the egg exploded covering both cookie and his beloved with and an aged in the yolk white of egg leaving them bewildered and completely bemused that the last of Cookies old chooks had finally managed to lay an egg in his bandsaw of all places.....

John Saxton
8th Nov 2001, 08:21 PM
An accompaniment to Shane who could be heard all the way from Mackay practising lead-ins to his Bundy rum ad but Cookie not to be outdone......

8th Nov 2001, 10:16 PM
smacked himself in the family jewels and was entered into the guiness book of records as being the first person to be rendered a eunich from a kickback on a bandsaw.
Monica was horrified and screamed....

9th Nov 2001, 12:21 AM
Jeez Cookie why'd ya wanna go an' do that in front of the vicar. What is he gunna think.

"Well" chipped in the vicar "I do need a new metzo soprano for the choir. So if you're not doing anything later Cookie maybe we can....

9th Nov 2001, 02:58 PM
...meet down the pub and I'll buy you a few Bundys, then we''ll go over to the church and have a bit of a practice sing-song.
I've just signed on a young and beautiful masseuse called Hilary, who has a lovely soprano voice and is a real looker.In fact she's looking for a new partner having just left her husband Bill who lost his job earlier this year.She may be able to help the problem with the familty jewels.I think the two of you would really make good music.
Monica was horrified,"Don't you dare,she screamed. I'll....

[This message has been edited by John Hambly (edited 09 November 2001).]

John Saxton
9th Nov 2001, 08:40 PM
I'll sue,I'll sue you for everything you got includin' your family jewells to which Cookie cooly replied....

9th Nov 2001, 11:39 PM
"This is the last time I tell anyone about my band saw problems. Sorry Monica I'm off with the vicar to the pub," He said "and by the way Mon .........

John Saxton
12th Nov 2001, 08:40 PM
...limp wristed,and has a nice boy choir that feel that...