Advice for Women

[WoodGirl]

<TABLE class=boxcontent cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=0 width="100&#37;" summary="women jokes" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=left><TABLE class=boxcontent cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=2 width="100%" summary="relationship jokes" border=0><TBODY><TR><TD align=left>15 Items of Advice for Women</TD><TD align=right></TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR><TR><TD align=left>1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.<O:p</O:p
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.<O:p</O:p
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.<O:p</O:p
5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.<O:p</O:p
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.<O:p</O:p
7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.<O:p</O:p
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.<O:p</O:p
9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.<O:p</O:p
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.<O:p</O:p
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.<O:p</O:p
12. The children of <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:p<st1:country-region><ST1:pIsrael</ST1:p</st1:country-region></ST1:p</st1:country-region> wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.<O:p</O:p
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.<O:p</O:p
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.<O:p</O:p
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.<O:p</O:p

</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

[johnc]

Ah but Woodgirl, God made us this way so women had a chance to understand us, now when he made women he made the mistake of thinking we were smart enough to work them out ourselves in all their guises. How wrong he was, the rule book for ladies read, if men ever work us out its time to change all the rules.

Cheers, John.

[WoodGirl]

How wrong he was, the rule book for ladies read, if men ever work us out its time to change all the rules.

Cheers, John.

It keeps your grey matter ticking over ... and ours :D :D

Cheers

[Howdya do that]

Wood girl,
Do you participate in Mardi gra's or do you want to play proffesional football but the boys wont let you?:roll:

[WoodGirl]

Mardi Gras? Heck no!!!! :puke: I did try out for the Power ruck tho, but they said I was a little on the short side :kickcan:

Cheers

[SPIRIT]

gees this the 2nd thread you started like this (who needs men) is there something you are trying to tell us :C

[WoodGirl]

History shows I've started many more than two :wink: ... but they're achieving the desired effect :cool: :D :D

Cheers

[Barry_White]

Woodgirl

Maybe you would be happier on this forum.

http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=74067

[WoodGirl]

http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/icon_posticon.gifPosted - 3/10/2006 12:15:02 PM
<HR noShade SIZE=1>Part of what makes us men is the extra chromosone that allowsus to not whine or be affectedby such things.

:wink:

[pawnhead]

Ah but Woodgirl, God made us this way so women had a chance to understand us, now when he made women he made the mistake of thinking we were smart enough to work them out ourselves in all their guises.I've worked them out. It all boils down to a simple mathematical formula: -

First, we state that women require time and money:

Women = time * money

...and as we all know, "time is money":

Time = Money

...and therefore:

Women = Money * Money = (Money)^2

...and because "Money is the root of all evil":

Money = sqrt(evil)

...therefore:

Women = (sqrt[evil])^2

...and we are forced to conclude that:

Women = Evil

However, when women are faced with simple formulas they usually come up with solutions like this : -

http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y266/holgerdanske/th_864.jpg (http://i7.photobucket.com/albums/y266/holgerdanske/864.jpg)

[tameriska]

On the subject of advice for women, you do realize that this is a woodworking forum?
I am confused as to what the desired effect of these threads is supposed to be?

[SPIRIT]

On the subject of advice for women, you do realize that this is a woodworking forum?
I am confused as to what the desired effect of these threads is supposed to be?it's call fishing once you get a bit of a bite you just reeeeeel it in :fish: :snopee: see some things are just funny

[AlexS]

WoodGirl seems to have found the right bait.:wink:

[Barry_White]

it's call fishing once you get a bit of a bite you just reeeeeel it in :fish: :snopee: see some things are just funny


Not only has she found the right bait on a forum that is made up 90% of men she has also found a good fishing hole.

But I do think she needs to go and find some psychological help. Maybe Derek should join in.

Pity she hasn't contributed something about woodwork other than her name "Woodgirl". Maybe it should be "Woodhead"

Sorry I don't usually get that sarcastic but just can't help myself.

By the way Pawnhead I love your analogy. But mind you there're not all like that. We do have some great ladies on this forum that have their priorities in the right place.

[David L]

But mind you there're not all like that. We do have some great ladies on this forum that have their priorities in the right place.

Barry, In the context of this forum I assume you mean WOOD work after all that's what this forum is about isn't it?:rolleyes:
Maybe some one should tell Woodheart oops I mean Woodgirl , :(( so far I haven't seen anything wood related from her or maybe I dozed off for a sec.

[SPIRIT]

come on guys you are being a bit hard wood girl is ok
some times it hard to talk about wood here a lot of you have a lot more experience but it dosn't mean she is not reading and learning about woodwork, threads like this one are great it helps to join this sometime clicky comunity:roll:

its all just a bit of fun :U

[WoodGirl]

David L and Barry White - because I haven't posted anything wood related doesn't mean I know nothing about woodwork. You don't know who I am or what I do ... I have my own reasons for not wishing to partake in those sections of this forum. Don't know anything about you David L, but Barry, unzip that wound you wear and let some of the sh.t off your liver eh?

Tameriska - maybe you'd like to visit WoodGirl's workshop and we could share a wine (I only live up the road a bit from you) but perhaps more appropriate would be a bit of bush bashing in my 4WD to cure your constipation! Lighten up girl, this is the jokes section!

SPIRIT - thankyou :) , and you're certainly right about clicky ... lucky I'm not a seppo or I would have worn a double dose of this treatment :rolleyes:

Heck, I feel like I have PMT today :(

[RufflyRustic]

Nah, you're alright Woodgirl :) PMT is when I sit down to dinner and cry because it looks too good to eat and I'm really hungry :rolleyes:

[johnc]

C'mon Woodgirl find us a joke on whats wrong with women:wink: , after the boys have had a chuckle they can put the dummy back in and we can all move on.

John.

[Paws]

Woodgirl,

I have found this thread quite upsetting. I do not think sexist comments benefit anyone even when they are said in jest and I am actually surprised that this thread has been allowed to continue.

I am a women who works with wood, and have met and worked with many men whose company I have enjoyed and who I have learnt a great deal from. There have also been many occasions when I have been treated poorly by men and women because I was a woman. I dont think the above comments make any positive contribution to peoples attitudes and I would rather not read them here on this forum.

[silentC]

God what an uptight bunch we are today.

Have a look through the jokes forums, there's hundreds just like this. As I always say, if you don't like what you read, click off. No one is forcing you to read it.

If you're here to be serious, don't read the jokes and for God's sake stay away from the Open Slather forum...

[SPIRIT]

why not show some of your stuff l for would like to see it
l know you have your reasons but we like to share .l am new to wood work and was thinking what l did was not that good like that plane l made was just crappy but people had nice things to say about it and it builds confidence ..not saying you need anymore conindence noooooooooooooo
you with more conindent would just be scary:U
that pic on avatar is that one of yours come on woodgirl share :) ,,please
talking on this forum.. is like walking into a party just can't walk in and change the music .some of the oldies will grumble:~
just lisen to thier songs and join in and lets all dance :D :D

it is a woodwork site to let everybody get to know you though your woodwork as well as your wit

[silentC]

talking on this forum.. is like walking into a party just can't walk in and change the music .some of the oldies will grumble
Why not? Nothing like a bit of a shake up. Just have to be prepared to take the abuse :wink:

Anyway, the tune this thread started out singing has been sung plenty of times in the past and will be again. Nothing wrong with the girls getting their own back. Some people don't like it, that's nothing new. I find things like that amusing. There's plenty of blonde jokes I laugh at too.

[tameriska]

Woodgirl, I dont have constipation, thankyou for your offer though.

The reason that I got my claws out is because it seemed to me yesterday that this subject (bloke bashing) seems to be a recurring theme in your threads.

I have an enormous amount of respect for this forum and its members (which for the majority are blokes), and took offense at (what seemed to me), to be the constant theme of your threads.

I apologize if I have misinterpreted your motives, (which seemed to me, at the time, that you were using this forum to pick on blokes)

I will now retract my claws.

[SPIRIT]

Why not? Nothing like a bit of a shake up. Just have to be prepared to take the abuse :wink:

Anyway, the tune this thread started out singing has been sung plenty of times in the past and will be again. Nothing wrong with the girls getting their own back. Some people don't like it, that's nothing new. I find things like that amusing. There's plenty of blonde jokes I laugh at too.l bet you come in with 1 bottle and leave with 3 :U agree with you dont look with you dont like what you see
it s getting better all the time :rolleyes: now a bi#$$fi$t:o

[Barry_White]

Woodgirl, I dont have constipation, thankyou for your offer though.

The reason that I got my claws out is because it seemed to me yesterday that this subject (bloke bashing) seems to be a recurring theme in your threads.

I have an enormous amount of respect for this forum and its members (which for the majority are blokes), and took offense at (what seemed to me), to be the constant theme of your threads.

I apologize if I have misinterpreted your motives, (which seemed to me, at the time, that you were using this forum to pick on blokes)

I will now retract my claws.


Tameriska

I think you said it better than any of us guys feeble attempts.

[pawnhead]

God what an uptight bunch we are today.

Have a look through the jokes forums, there's hundreds just like this. As I always say, if you don't like what you read, click off. No one is forcing you to read it.

If you're here to be serious, don't read the jokes and for God's sake stay away from the Open Slather forum...I couldn't have put it better. This is the internet, and this is a jokes section. Don't take it too seriously. Ignore it, or fight back with the same ammo and give everyone a laugh.

AFAIK there's no requirement to have any interest in wood, to be a member and post here. WoodGirl may have other reasons to want to joke around with a bunch of blokes, and that's all good as far as I'm concerned. I haven't taken any offense at anything she's posted, and for those who have I'd suggest a different sub forum.

BTW, I'll have to ask for a password for that Open Slather forum. It sounds interesting. :)

[ozwinner]

Ok its over.
If you have a problem with men try posting on.
www.ihatemen.com (http://www.ilovelebians.com)

Al :((