Doing Some Mancuuming™

[Toasty]

Like most blokes I hate vacuuming. It's a sucky little job (pun intended) that we blokes don't like to do and will attempt to avoid at all costs. We’ll even go so far as to feign injury - say like a broken leg - to try and avoid the detestable task. Well that has changed a little for me now and after today I’ll never look at vacuuming the same again. As long as I’m not vacuuming, but instead Mancuuming™!

What’s the difference between vacuuming and Mancuuming™ you ask?

Vacuuming is done by dragging some plasticly piddly little thing behind you which yaps at your heals not unlike some stupid toy poodle you would love to strangle. You work your way through the house, moving furniture (or at least pretend to) and basically dream about the million other things you would rather be doing; which includes poking your own eye out. For power they weigh in at a limp wristed 1500 to 2500 watts which, let’s face it, isn’t impressing anybody.

Now Mancuuming™, on the other hand, is something entirely different. Mancuuming™ is done by holding onto a 4” hose and working your way around the workshop (OK, it’s a garage) sucking up bits of wood, tools, low flying birds and the occasional small child. The other end of the hose is attached to a two horsepower motor with a honking great metal impeller which makes short work of just about anything you throw at it. Where does all of this end up? Not in a tiny little paper bag which doesn’t even have the capacity to hold a pair of last week’s undies, no sir. It ends up in a big bag which holds around 150 litres of Mancuuming™ detritus.

So you really have to ask yourself, which would you rather be telling your mates down the pub about what you did today? If it’s that you did some vacuuming then you had better be sure you’re holding onto some kind of girly pre-mixed drink like, ohhhh a Breezer, or maybe a some bubbly champagne pop – with a little brolly in it. But if you are going to tell the lads you did some Mancuuming™, then with chest thrust outwards feel free to regale all within earshot of your story while slamming down shots of whiskey and basking in the awe that all will undoubtedly bestow upon you.

Say yes to Mancuuming™.

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Ah, yes! I know the chore of mancuuming well.

SWMBO asked me to vacuum out the car... which was parked outside my shed. When she saw me wheeling out the DC she asked "are you sure you know what you're doing?" (Well... words to that effect, anyway. :rolleyes:) "Shouldn't that stay inside the shed?"

"Of course not, woman! Thats why they put wheels on it!" :doh:

Did you know that if you place the 4" hose over one of the A/C vents in the dash (seeking long lost remnants of kiddies past snacks 'n meals) that it whistles? And if you adjust the angle of the 4" hose, you can play tunes? I didn't think you did. :D

Mind you, if you do decide to try playing a dash-song, make sure you have a good glove-box latch. Those cheap, nasty plastic ones suck open... and any unpaid bills that may be residing inside the glove-box until She Who Pays The Bills gets around to actually doing so... well, they make a noise rather like an icy-pole stick in a push-bike wheel when they hit the impeller.

So does the dangly scented thing hanging from the rear-view mirror. :-

I've been banned from mancuuming... but it was fun while it lasted and I'd happily do it again.

[flynnsart]

Looks to me that the mancuuming is performed with the skill and precision of an average male doing the vacuuming:q (Edges? What Edges?)

Leads to the saying "doesnt matter about the size of the tool, its what you do with it":roflmao:

[tea lady]

:rofl: And I see the little stereo is spotless.:rolleyes:

[Pat]

Toasty, how does the Dc go with the lathe. It doesn't look like it collects much, to me. :)

[Ed Reiss]

Careful not to get it too clean Toasty... surely you've heard the saying "A clean shop is a sign of a warped mind.":screwy:

[TTIT]

............... Say yes to Mancuuming™.Nah bugga that!:q My 6 year old grandson and his 4 year old sister come over on weekends and do it for a handful of small change each while I put my feet up :2tsup:

[corbs]

I do the opposite, open both garage doors... let the air compressor fill to max bickies, put on a dust mask and blow it all away:oo:

[Toasty]

G'day Pat,

how does the Dc go with the lathe. It doesn't look like it collects much, to me. :)
That was the inaugural run of my new Mancuum™ as I only got it last week, the first cleanup took almost a bag and a half of shavings. It'll get a good run this week as I plan to spend a lot of time in the workshop (OK it's a garage), but I still need to figure out a way to try and rig it up in the best position behind the woodturning.

[Sawdust Maker]

... in the workshop (OK it's a garage),

I think I've got to take issue here with your misuse of the english language. :o

If it has a door and 4 sides and a roof it's a shed. If it has a rollerdoor at one end and a side door ... it's a shed (especially if made out of fibro:D)

If it is some sort of structure with a roof, walls, doors, power (even if supplied via extension cord) and woodworking tools, it is a "shed" :~

BTW nice Mancuum™ing and I see you have music - vital in any "shed" :2tsup:

PS I gather you like the 2hp jet. If one was ambidextrous you could use each 4" hose at the same time!

[funkychicken]

in the workshop (OK it's a garage)


Pah! I call my damp, dark, dirt floored, 2 1/2 walled area under the house a workshop:D

[Skew ChiDAMN!!]

Tsk, tsk, TSK!

From the Code Of Practice (23-Jul-06)


5. The Shed

What a bloke does in his shed is up to him (see para 3 – Definitions, sub para 3.2 – Shed and para 4 – Purposes, sub para 4.2 – The purpose of a shed). It is clear from these important sections of the Code of Practice that a bloke has complete control over all activities within his own shed. This is inviolable. However, the Code is designed to provide appropriate guidance (see para 1 – Scope). What follows in this section is intended to provide a bloke with some clear guidance. If a bloke chooses to ignore this guidance, well, he has that right but it would be a foolish bloke who knowingly transgresses the Code and commits a violation.


5.1. Size and shape. Any given shed shall ALWAYS be too small.


5.1.1. When a bloke, through force of circumstance, is obliged to suffer from a lack of an actual shed then an appropriate surrogate shed may be substituted. To that end a surrogate shed may be any given workspace or area not necessarily confined within four walls, including any and all of the following:


5.1.1.1. a garage,
5.1.1.2. a workroom,
5.1.1.3. a patio/decking area (see Cautionary note under 5.1.1.5 below)
5.1.1.4. any other space wherein a bloke determines that shed-like activities shall be undertaken.
5.1.1.5. Cautionary note – if a bloke co-opts a part or all of a patio for surrogate shed purposes, he shall thenceforth not use the term ‘patio’ to describe the area. The term ‘patio’ has chap-like connotations and is to be avoided within the context of this Code of Practice.

& the relevant sub paras:


(Definitions) 3.2: Shed – a shed is the domain, demesne and realm of a bloke.


(Purposes) 4.2: The purpose of a shed.
The purpose of a shed is to provide an environment and territory wherein a bloke has total and complete dominion and control and is therefore happy.

'Nuff said? :rolleyes:

[artme]

Nah bugga that!:q My 6 year old grandson and his 4 year old sister come over on weekends and do it for a handful of small change each while I put my feet up :2tsup:

Now THAT is the sign of a warped mind! :D:p:D:p

[ss_11000]

What a great Idea, stuff the broom or the pissweak Vacumm - From now on I will use my 2hp dusty to mancuum the house (unfortunately vacuuming is my job:()

[BobL]

Our most excellent house cleaning wife and hubby team are "Polish Maria" and "Macedonian Tony". They are like a cleaning tornado - Maria does baths, loos and kitchen. Tony does dusting, floors (mancuuming and mopping) and even sweeps back and front veranda - hadn't thought about the shed :rolleyes: They are not cheap but they are bloody good.

[Toasty]

Thanks for the replies, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the post which of course was tongue in cheek (mostly :q)

[flynnsart]

:DLoved your post, and so did my hubby.

I am, of course, very jealous of your new aquisition:rolleyes:

Donna

[The Bleeder]

My boss can't work out why I'm laughing so much.

Just had a power failure and the UPS didn't kick in:doh:. (they were servicing it and someone hit the wrong button:o).

Still both very funny.

Steve