Thread: How I hate gum wood, let me count the ways

About 15 years ago I was at the Melany wood show and saw a very juicy wide plank of wood for sale. I was still pretty new to Aussie woods but the moment I clapped eyes on it a project leaped into my head. It must have been fate - right?!?! The rich red and the ripple in the grain really stood out... It stood about 5' tall, 16" wide and 2" thick. When I enquired, I found it was a blue gum and the price was more than right at $60. This little gem was coming home with me to become a pie crust tilt top table in the Chippendale style. And! an unusual style, with lion's paw feet of all things. I knew it within 10 seconds of looking at it.

You could say ignorance is bliss in this case. I charged forward with the project. First, I cut out the pieces to glue for the pedestal and the cabriole legs, and cut out the circular top... The lion's paw feet were wider than the board was thick, so they were going to need cheeks... I didn't want to take any chances so I glued the legs and pedestal with epoxy. I'd never had epsxy fail me - ever. The top was mounted in the lathe and rough turned to dish out the top and produce a circle from which I would cut the pie crust. I then rough cut the pie crust profile and something in the back of my head told me to let the top sit for a while. Don't know where that intuition came from, but I obeyed it. Well, how bout that. After a couple months of letting those pieces sit, I found the top had warped a bit more than 1/8". Back on the lathe to true it up, it went. Luckily it didn't detract from the overall thickness of the top even after having to shave it down by 1/4". I turned the pedistal to a final thickness of about 3 1/2" at the ball. And then got stuck into carving it. Well, wouldn't ya know it, it started to pull itself apart, even with epoxy and only being 3 1/2"!! So I have crack on each side running full length of the pedestal. I don't dare try to split it and reglue it, that's for sure. I've never seen that in such a narrow piece, and with epoxy! But then again I've never used an Aussie gum wood either... I carried on, thinking when I'm done I'll fill the cracks... I swear this bloody table has fought me the entire time. Carving the flutes was a nightmare (well, maybe not that bad, but it was pretty friggin frustrating). Every 1/2" the grain changed direction - literally. In any other wood that I've encountered over the 30 some years (at that point) of woodwork I've never found a wood I couldn't carve against the grain - till now!!!!!!!!!!!! This sh^& is so ruddy brittle I had to change direction or risk significant chipping out, even with the gouge sharp enough to make me bleed for a week (sharper the edge the longer you bleed, in case you were wondering). The acanthus leaf on the ball went out the window real fast. What was possible is an abortion by comparison, but that's all the wood would allow. It looks more like a dead withered vine than lush acanthus leaf. And if that weren't enough, the cheeks that were glued on the lions paws also started to warp and pull themselves apart. These damn things are only 2"x1 1/2"... How is that effin possible!!! The worst ones were gently chiselled off and sanded back and reglued (pro tip! Glue won't stick to glue. All remnants have to be removed before regluing) and I'll fill the others with epoxy and sawdust when it's complete.

There literally hasn't been a single part of this wood that hasn't made a concerted effort to completely derail my efforts. To the point I simply threw it on a shelf and it's remained there for the past 14. I had lost all desire for the project. Every time over those years I would see the parts and give them the stink eye, while mumbling curse words under my breath at them (no, not that bad really, but it adds to the drama. But I really did have a strong dislike for gum wood by this time). My dislike for the wood is so strong that I wouldn't use gum wood for anything other than fence posts and firewood now - I really don't like it.

But!! I've been on a tear lately making stuff and now that the more adventurous project is over - the failed tool chest. I still seem to have some gumption left to start, or more like, resurrect a project or two. So, the pie crust table has been pulled from the shelf, dusted off and I'll be locking horns with it to get the bloody thing done. I won't French polish it. I think I'll go with an ol friend lacquer. I've always like NC lacquer. It rots the brain and causes lifelong neurological damage but 30 coats of gloss looks pretty shimko - worth the risk!

I'll let ya know how it turns out...