Thread: How smart am I ??

Reminds me of the time that my car wouldn't start. This happened a few times, tried to push start it with some mates but it just wouldn't go, kept on trying but it just wouldn't start. Then suddenly it clicked, "you fool" I had a kill switch hidden in the glove box (which is a pretty obvious place really) and I forget to turn it off!!! All of a sudden it did start!!

Did i own up to my mates? I am not sure. But here is my confession
I fell much better now, please forgive if you are listening

Originally Posted by Rowan

Not claiming to be the dumbest person ever to woodwork but am feeling pretty stupid today!!!!!!

A while ago I was given 8 railway sleepers from the old Melbourne-Geelong line which they recently changed over to concrete sleepers. They have just sat in the pile of wood I have until over the weekend I decided to make some 50mm thick chopping boards using the redgum with hoop pine in between. So I had to cut down the sleepers into usable sizes.

Hello Rowan if I was you I will not doing any chopping board with railway sleepers as they traited with arsenic and other chermicals :eek: :eek: :eek: they are not event suitable for garden bed edge as they relase by the time all chermicals to the ground.

Cheer

Darley

7 or 8 years ago I got really frustrated with my car. The electric windws refused to do anything - hit the switch and not a thing. Took the door panels off to investigate, checked the fuses, wiring, the lot - nothing wrong. Finally took the car to an auto electrician to have it checked out.

So he opens the door, checks, finds the windows not working, flicks the child switch (sitting right next to the window switch on the door), then opens the window. Been a while since I felt THAT stupid

had a mate in nrma roadside who has helped a few people use the key to manually open the car door because the battery had died and the button wouldnt work to let them into the car..

Well its time to fess up to my most stupid moment. Years ago I used to be given a cab home from afternoon shift but had to make my own way into the city to start work. This consisted of driving my car to a mates bussiness which was close to the station and then cathing a train into the city then the cab would drop me back at my car in the evening. One night I returned to find my car gone. I was about 75% of the way through reporting my car stolen at the plice station when I remembered that I had left my car at home that day and got a lift into work. What a goose.

after my tenants departed leaving havoc behind them found the push-mower (human powered) that I'd left them ( in the hope they might actually mow the lawn) in what appeared to be bits. the grass catcher and 1 black plastic knurled knob sat in it, no sign of anything to screw the knob onto or the matching plastic for the other side. No sign of the assembly instruction sheet so I wasn't sure what went where. I figured they'd lost two screws and the second knob. Spent a happy afternoon on the phone trying to find a lawnmower place that dealt in the brand, got in the car, drove 25 km, got soaked in the rain as couldn't park near the place. The guy at the mower shop took the catcher - fixed it onto the lawnmower no screws required ( you slightly distorted it and what appeared to be screw holes sat on top of pins on each side ) ... 2 seconds .... and told me the knob was nothing to do with the mower ..... no charge cos he hadn't had such a good laugh in ages.

Hey Rowan,at 38 you're not deemed to be having a senior moment but believe me they start to creep in not long after that!

Cheers

Stupidist thing I ever did? Went to a pub for after work drinks, they were passing around chicken wings for bar snacks. Still hungry so went over an elbowed a couple out of the way so I could get to the other bar snacks, nachos. Trouble was they weren't bar snacks, I was helping myself to their dinner......

Doing things that we later on recognise as being stupid is how we learn.
When I think about all the stupid things I have done reckon I have earnt a degree in stupidity

Gday all, I reckon my best one was when I'd just begun as a Jim's Mowing franchisee about 7 1/2 yrs ago.

Started on the 17th Dec I think, first days feeling like getting nowhere, how the hell am I going to be able to support the family on this? Trying to catch up the jobs that had been let go, and take on a bit of extra work which was plentiful of course prior to Chrissy.

About the 5th day, 5 pm, rock up to a new job. Corner block, nice brick house, no front fence and a yard/nature strip long enough to bale. See the owner, agree on a price, and into it.

Tried the venerable Honda mower first, no chance. Whippersnipper next, line getting tangled, no progress. How about giving this nice new brushcutter blade a go?

Hooooeeee boy, this is the shot!! Ripping through it now, laying it down like a scythe. Going great guns, ....CHIINNNGGGG, holy , the water meter :eek: :eek:

Well now, if I look out my front window over the road from that eyesore corner block, I can see an impressive 15ft plume of water from their new fountain...........

Tried in vain to block water (mains pressure, the fun continues ), owner comes out, (fortunately) highly amused at the goings on. New mower man stressing, rings water authority, no help, ring a plumber. Just by a stroke of luck every plumber in the area happens to be in the same place, unfortunately that place is Reece's plumbing supplies for the pre Chrissy p15s up.....can't get anyone to come out....one helpful fella tenders the sage advice to use vice grips to crimp & fold over the copper pipe before the reservoirs run low....show's over folks, nothing to see (now), p15s off kids, yeah, ha ha, real funny

Ring back water supplier, explain predicament, they give me phone no. of a plumber on their callout list (might have been useful info the first time around...). He comes out, give him a hand to dig up nearest isolation gate valve & hook meter up again. Telling him my woes as we work, turns out he goes fishing up near my old stomping ground and we know some of the same people. He charges me $20 !!!! for coming out & we'll catch up for a beer sometime.

Now 7pm, job can dry out, will finish another day. Customer (still) sees the funny side and gives me 1/2 doz stubbies to go home & drown my sorrows.

All's well that ends .................eventually!!!!!!!!!

Cheers........Sean

Whilst we are into confessing;

I used to own a 1965 XP Ford Fairmont, 3 spd auto on the tree. Anyway, some years ago, before drink driving was a really big thing, a mate and I went fishing. Cut to the chase the fishing was pretty thirsty business and I went head over teacup on the rocks, fell in the drink...no probs. Decided to pack it in (esky empty) and head home. Get to the old Ford...no keys, they had been in my pocket when I went for a dip.... No worries mate...arm in through the quarter window, open the door, get the plug off the back of the key and hot wire the old girl...No Worries Mate!

Driving down road (now 11pm) and there's flashing blue lights everywhere. Pull over, trying to be super sober, and not breathe, "evening officer".. no worries, out with the soggy driver license...be very cool, things going well until Mr Plod shines the torch into the ignition switch and sees the bunch of wires hanging out. Quite suddenly I'm looking down the barrel of a .38 calibre object.

Anyway, the cops were pretty good and kicked us out of the lockup about 4.30 am next morning. So we walk several miles to get the old Ford and head home not really feeling the best having nearly died of hypothermia. 9am and my 12 year old cousin is bangin on my door. It seems I promised to take here shopping or something. So I get my act together (coffee) get out to the old Ford and wire her up...No Worries.

Park the Ford in the carpark down at the shopping centre, she heads off to the shops and I try and get something solid in my guts. Anyway she comes back a couple of hours later and we decide to go home. Wires, ignition lights but no start...what the?...I try everything but she just wont kick over. No worries... I can fix this, the ignition light is on so I jump out, grab a screwdriver, pop the bonnet, and fire up the starter motor by arcing across the terminals.... except...the reason why the old girl wouldn't kick over is that it was still in reverse. The choke was on full because she was still a bit cold.

I can still see it now, the Ford roars off in reverse with no Captain at the Helm and my 12 year old cousin in the passenger seat screaming her guts out. I'm standing there with a screwdriver in my hand trying to believe that this can't be happening. I thought it was going to be OK for a few seconds but then this brand new Datsun 180B backs out of a carpark and KAABOOOM.
It was a bit like a Bomb going off. Nobody got hurt (thank the Lord) but the a1rse end of the Ford hit the Datto side-on at about 30 mph I reckon. Blew every window out of the Datto. I'm still standing there screwdriver in hand thinking that if I just turn around and walk calmly away I could blame in on a minor. Then this huge heifer gets out of the Datto. I swear she must have been 20 stone, don't know how she got in there. I'm now thinking crikey shes gonna sit on me...I'm dead.

Well it all worked out in the end, she didn't sit on me, my panel beater mate fixed the Datto, my cousin never drove with me again and all my mates had great mirth and sarcasm at my expense. The Ford, which by the way only had a slight bend in the rear big ole chrome bumper, was thereafter known as "Christine" as this was a popular Stephen King movie at the time.

If you are think your having a bad day, somebody else can probably top it. I've since given up Fishing and Drinking.

Originally Posted by vsquizz

I've since given up Fishing and Drinking.

Good idea, that fishing's no good for you anyway.

Just thought I would add my 2d.
Some years ago, we had a friend who was a member of the 'Weekend Soldiers' and he invited us to a Christmas 'Do' at the barracks. We turned up in our new Valiant Auto and a great time, as they say, was had by all. To the effect that it was about 1 or 2 a.m. when we decided to call it a day.
"Goodbyes and "Merry Christmasses!"" all round and into the car.
Nothing! Not a peep. "Oh Sheet! Must have left the lights on or something."
No problem. Twenty or thirty part or full time fitter here with all the equipment needed to take the car apart and rebuild it if necessary.
Half an hour and several baffled technicians later, I realised that I had left it in gear. I quietly slipped it into neutral and 'Surprise! Surpise!', it started immediately. Thanking the fellows for their expert help, "Couldn't have done it without you!" we drove off.
I never confessed.

Well, I have a list a mile long of the dumb things I've done but the dumb thing that sticks out most in my mind was actually done by a friend of mine.

I had a Holden HR sedan, which was getting long in the tooth. So I bought a HK wagon and decided I'd sell the HR. My friend said he'd buy it off me but he didn't have the money. So it stayed at my place until he did (I'm not that silly). In the meantime it ran out of rego.

One afternoon I was waiting for a girlfriend to show up. She was late and another friend dropped by and said he'd seen her car with the bonnet up. I said I'd go and help her out. Meanwhile, my mate who was planning to buy the HR was having a bit of a bender with some of the others at my place. I drove off to help the girl out. It was a flat battery and I got it started OK.

We were on the way back home and as I rounded a bend, this white car comes hurtling around the corner the other way. He takes the corner a bit wide and side-swipes me on the way through. If he hadn't have hit me, he would've ended up in a block of flats on the corner.

One of my mates in the car with me said "wasn't that Andy in your other car"? Well, yes it was. Seems in his drunken state, he'd decided to come and see if we needed any help. He figured since he was buying the car, it would be OK to take it. Never mind a. that he was drunk and b. that the car was unregistered.

So I end up with two smashed up cars and one less mate. He never did come up with the money. I made him give me his Marshall guitar amp and $100 and I took the HR to the wrecker and got $80 for it.