Thread: The worst possible insult

I am into Custom made Wooden house Name boards, ( plus a few Wooden Toys ),- Never ceases to amaze me the number of people who upon seeing my workmanship, either say, " Too dear, Too dear,- we can get it cheaper elsewhere, " or, " don't buy THAT,- I can make it for a fraction of HIS price, or, ( lately ),-
" You get them made to order in China don't you, and simply put your sticker on them ! "
Got my own back the other day,- A smart-#### said the same to me the day before, and mentioned he was bringing his wife & his brother-in-law, & his wife back next day to Prove to them THAT I import the woodwork I sell.
Anyway I was out in the workshop completely engrossed with what I was doing,- very carefully, & neatly engraving a Bulldog onto a Coffee table top, ( picture available shortly on this thread ), when I realized I had company,- there was the guy from the day before, standing there, mouth open, wide-eyed, staring at what I was doing, with his wife, and another couple also looking on. When he found his voice, he said, " You really do make them,- I thought you were simply bullshitting & telling porkies about what you do !!!! "
Me,- " Got heaps of woodworking gear here,- didn't buy it to simply look at it ! "
Should have seen the L-O-O-K on his face when I said that.!!!
He couldn't get out of my workshop quick enough.
His wife quickly followed him, while the other couple stayed behind, totally fascinated with what I was making,- and placed an order for a House Sign for themselves as well.
Roger

Originally Posted by dakotax3

Can anyone tell me how they do this? Note the overlapping and underlapping.

Here:

https://www.woodworkforums.com/f8/rolling-pins-90495/

I used to get that sort of thing when I was selling my work at sunday markets. Usually a couple comes along and the wife/partner/girlfriend says " oh, how nice, well made, just what I want." Male of the species then digs her in the ribs and says " I can make you one of those". I would then pull out pencil, paper, tape measure and a ruler and say " by all means take down all the details you like, if I can do it anyone can"

Some would get dirty and walk off. Some would actually take measurements and ask questions about detail, which I would happily answer, most would wake up to themselves there and then and purchase from me. Those that didn't usually came back later, sometimes weeks later, and buy from me. I used to get quite a laugh when the wife came back, without the hubby, and say " He had a go but couldn't do it". In those cases she would usually buy something else as well.

Cheers

Originally Posted by Enfield Guy

I used to get that sort of thing when I was selling my work at sunday markets. Usually a couple comes along and the wife/partner/girlfriend says " oh, how nice, well made, just what I want." Male of the species then digs her in the ribs and says " I can make you one of those". I would then pull out pencil, paper, tape measure and a ruler and say " by all means take down all the details you like, if I can do it anyone can"

Some would get dirty and walk off. Some would actually take measurements and ask questions about detail, which I would happily answer, most would wake up to themselves there and then and purchase from me. Those that didn't usually came back later, sometimes weeks later, and buy from me. I used to get quite a laugh when the wife came back, without the hubby, and say " He had a go but couldn't do it". In those cases she would usually buy something else as well.

Cheers

I've been known to bring a tape measure/paper/pencil into furniture shops and furtively take measurements. But then I do actually go ahead and make my own version of the piece...

When renovating the 729 Club in Sydney some 30 years ago, I was commissioned to make a pair of very large internal oak doors. The said doors were to be operated by auto closers which were let into the bottom of each door. Working on site, I checked out for the closer on each door, only to find I had checked the same side on both doors! I then set about doing an "invisible" patch as I had to be finished that afternoon for the opening. The project manager came past, stopped, saw what I was doing and remarked, "I made a mistake once.....just for the shear novalty of it."

Originally Posted by Enfield Guy

I used to get that sort of thing when I was selling my work at sunday markets. Usually a couple comes along and the wife/partner/girlfriend says " oh, how nice, well made, just what I want." Male of the species then digs her in the ribs and says " I can make you one of those". ....

You could be quoting me .....I can make that....

Originally Posted by Enfield Guy

.......wife came back, without the hubby, and say " He had a go but couldn't do it". ......

Needed access to this forum.

My elderly neighbours, & myself are very good friends, and quite often in each others' backyard. This particular day neighbour was at my place, when an, " Upper-class, Snobbish Couple, " called in to see my work, which they ran down no matter what. Everything I showed them, HE could do, " twice as good, and for half the price. "
Anyway Husband turns to wife, ( within my neighbours' & my hearing ), and says,-
I CAN make all of this stuff for HALF the price and heaps better quality. "
His wife answered, " Dear,- You can't DRAW !! "
Him, " Any idiot can do THAT !! "
Her, " Dear,- You don't have any TOOLS. "
Him, " Tools ? I'll get a heap tomorrow,- they're a Dollar a dozen,- I know they are !! "
Her, " Dear,- You DON'T have a workshop or shed !! "
Him, " I get a shed tomorrow too,- they are dirt cheap anyway.
Her,- " Where are you going to put the shed ? "
Him, " In the backyard,- Why ? "
Her, " Where in the backyard ? - There's the Entertainment area, the swimming pool, the kid's play area, and MY garden there,- there's no room for anything else!!
Him, " I'll FIND Room to put a workshop, then I'll come back with heaps of nice stuff at HALF this idiot's prices, and sell heaps, & make lots of money too,- I know I will !! "
My neighbour, ( Mal ), had the second-last word, - " When you do mate,- can you let us know when you are coming, so we can arrange a public demostration so you can show everyone how good you are !!! "
Him,- " Sure mate,- It's a deal, See ya in about 3 months !! "
The above happened about twelve months ago,- haven't seen, or heard from either of them to this day.
Don't know why,- Can't possibly work out why !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mal, & I had a real good laugh about those two afterwards,- and so did ALL of our friends too, as the story did the rounds of the local, " grapevine. "

( Should put some stories in the Non-Woodwork section,- seen some absolute," CLANGERS," over the years,- and recent ones too as there's a pair of, " Magnificent, Lovely," Spoon-Drains by my place,- which catch many an unwary Tourist with their," Flash cars," etc. )
Roger