Thread: Haven't been around for a time...

Good on ya Ding.

Ding! Glad you're back on.

Well howdy Shane and welcome back after so long mate. Good to hear you have come to terms with everything that has happened to you over the last couple of years. its been a long road for you mate but you have reached the turning point and can now get on with your life. Its great to hear you talking like your old self and I can feel the happiness in your writing. Yeah 3x3 isn't all that big but some of the guys here don't even have that much room in their shed. I am sure you will manage and think of something to make that you can sell at the markets. The future sounds bright for you now Shane and hope it stays that way.
All the guys and gals here will all be so pleased to hear the good news.
Cheers mate and all the best for the future.. You deserve it.

Wow.... okay life is awesome again... actually I think its better than its been in a heck of a long time now Ive had time to stop and just be me for awhile... takes a long time to appreciate whats happened and whats changed... and to accept that there is absolutely NOTHING I can do about it... its done end of story... so now Ive taken the last couple of months to reflect on the "marriage" without rose colored glassed without emotion and without any thought of memory of the "good times"... just what was... and Im pleased its happened in many ways life has turned and I thank the lucky stars Im able to see that life can and will be far better now than it ever was... just take a bit of time thats all... no problems

I think selling up and going on a long holiday (something Id never had or done before) was the turning point returning to find nothing whatever had changed in regards to her what shes doing what she wants or how she is and saying "I dont deserve this and wont accept it anymore" then turning the words her family said to her "Do what makes you happy" on myself was the crux of the change...

Its taken time and will take yet more time... and thats where Im most content... to just take the time.

Unlike my brother and others who have gone through this thing IM IN NO HURRY... I KNOW I dont need anyone in my life I dont need anyone to do my washing my cooking my anything... I KNOW I dont want anyone in my life to tell my what to do when to do it or what they want... I am content with who I am where Ive been what Ive done and where Im heading... life is in fact good.

The future is unknown... hey!! So unknown that I took Jac out to tea with some friends here tonight and during the meal one bloke said "Shane mate you look pretty cruisey what say we head to Bali for the weekend? have a rage? meet some ladies? drink some booze? surf? get a massage on the beach what you reckon?" and do you know something? This time Saturday I will be sittin in Bali enjoying life!!!

As to women? well I have no doubt one day I will find someone else to love and be loved by for the remainder of my life... but Im not looking and there is no one on the horizon... and Im happy with that... however having said that I think "friends with benifits" is a good thing!!!

Anyway... gotta get some snore time in and then get Jac to the plane on time... gonna be quiet around here without my Binty bop jammering her lips every five seconds wanting to go "SHOPPING" but still weve both really enjoyed some father daughter time after so long and so much confusion and hurt... great young lady is my Jaccy!

OH!! and I finally got someone to give me a hand to get the damned whoppin great bench I made which weighs a ton of the trailer and set up!!! FINALLY!! I can actually make something!! YESSSSSSS!!!

Smile mates and matesses!!
Shane

Welcome back, Ding (amd not just to the Forums). It's great to see you back in such fine form

Welcome back. The forum hasn't been the same since you went off the air. I used to read your posts even if the subject was outside my interests just because of the passion they expressed. I'm glad you other life is back on track too. I have never had to go through such an experience so I don't fully understand what you have gone through. But the 'new' Wild Dingo seems to at peace with the world and that is good for you and the forum.

Whitewood (John)

Yeh remembered your password I see must be terrible getting OLD

Ok I don't believe

I go fishing, camping, swimming (EVERY DAY!! )

. Why when you live where ya live .

You got backwards Ding 2 x 3 x3m sheds is what you need one fr you one for the young fella they should be the living sleeping area and the house the shed.

Good to see you back here Shane

Originally Posted by wheelinround

Yeh remembered your password I see must be terrible getting OLD

Ok I don't believe . Why when you live where ya live .

You got backwards Ding 2 x 3 x3m sheds is what you need one fr you one for the young fella they should be the living sleeping area and the house the shed.

Good to see you back here Shane

Why? WHY? You ask me why Id be fishin, swimming, camping when I live where I live???? I MEAN GOOD GOD MAN!!! This is BROOME!!! great fishing fantastic swimming and amazing camping all over the place here... WHY wouldnt one do that????

The shed? nah its all good mate I reckon if others can do it and turn out some pretty snifty stuff from time to time so can this mad buggar... easy as!... still... it would be nice to have me old router and table... and the bandsysaw... and the table saw... mmm NOT the big thicknesser nor the jointer... AND Ive gotta order another couple of veneer press things... but hey Im doin great guns!!

Found some 1in x 1in 3mil rhs on top of the house the other day and I reckon theres enough to make a couple of pretty sturdy shelving units and as I have retained the mig welder its a job that needs be done... once thats out the way? well the world as they say is my oyster!!

Now for some work to build up the old spending accounts a bit... theyve been somewhat decimated over the past few months what with going to the states for a couple of months and buying this place and the new 4x4 and all the other stuff Im gonna HAVE to return to the workforce for a few months at least soon

Need to build it up again so I can have a whirl at the old "grey nomad" thing next year!! wanderlust has me in its grip methinks!! Why just last night over many a fine vodka it was discussed at great length the merits of heading to Vietnam or Bali for a few days R&R which given my recent history is definantly NEEDED... hahahaha anyway its a possibility that I might just head that way for a weekend shortly just for some R&R mind nothing too strenuous

Okay woodwork... well I think Im going to arc up the SCS tomorrow and make me some stairs... I THINK?... MAYBE?... ah buggar it I will let you know tomorrow!

Yeh ok so skyte away next thing you'll be showing us the size of fish caught

The Pearl in the Oyster you just happened to find.

God job that laptop has Wi Fi out there in the woods on the beach.

I think the stuff you have written here Ding will be a great comfort to a lot of people in the same boat as you were in. Keep moving forward mate and keep doing what you are doing.. Its working.

Originally Posted by munruben

I think the stuff you have written here Ding will be a great comfort to a lot of people in the same boat as you were in. Keep moving forward mate and keep doing what you are doing.. Its working.

True John also for those wishing to become Grey Nomads shame you'll not be one Grey that is

Gidday John
Mate part of why I write as I do is the hope that if someone anyone else is going through the same or a similar hell that somehow I can say "mate HANG IN THERE" Id never say it gets better because it only gets various shades of easier but ONLY if you dont sit around the same place! I think you gotta leave... like taking of to the states that was the best thing I could have done straightened me right out strengthened me no end emotionally and enabled me to make some decisions without the input and impact of family close freinds or anyone else... no distractions that remind you of home or whats happened... When you do that you can come back and look at whats there and make a clear decision without emotion on what is best for you... no one else you... its your life no one elses.

I think the depression was the worst part of it... not accepting that I needed help thinking it was her who was depressed when all the time I myself was... then denying help of any sort believing "I can do it I can get through this without the docs without the phsycs and without the meds"... that denial CAN kill you!...

What I think Ive been trying to tell people who are walking a similar road to my last few years journey is... FOR GODS SAKE GET HELP!!!... even if you THINK your goin okay you arent... your mind plays games with your thoughts... for some people the meds dont work try another sort!... luckily for me the combination of selling the place FAST and the meds plus leaving Aus straight after they finished worked for me... although I do now believe I should have probably had another couple of weeks on them for the first 2 weeks in the states was a hell...

Coming home seeing the kids and grandies was brilliant... of course theyre in the back of your mind of course you want to be there for them of course you love them to distraction... but you cant live for your kids!... I took the view when I got back when I saw that not a thing had changed regarding Jo that if I wanted to be there FOR THE LONG TERM for my kids and grandies then I HAD TO MAKE THE CHANGE for me... When I got back and saw no change in her or toward myself or anything else for that matter I knew I could buy a place nearby no worries but I also KNEW it was just a matter of a short period of time before I slipped right back where I was before I went away... and mate NO FLUCKING WAY IN HELL I was going back there for anyone!

So I left.

Now I dont see the kids so much as Id like or they would like and thats a bloody shame... but I and they KNOW that no matter what I will be around for many years to come even if I live 3000 klicks away!! And that mate is what matters in the end.

In the last month up here Ive created a new life for myself, Ive a new home a new car have no debts and owe no one anything, I am free to do as I please in life and worry about no-one... I talk to the kids most days on facebook or through text messages or by phone so they will inform me of any issues happening otherwise I do for myself and am enjoying life.

Loneliness was an issue along with isolation... THATS the main reason to sell the damned family home and GO AWAY!!!... although Im still alone Im no longer lonely in fact Im pretty content in my own company and have no issues with living by myself anymore the evenings were the worst but now it no longer bothers me... the isolation? in some ways Im probably even more isolated up here but while I was in the states a good friends made a simple comment that Ive taken to heart "Isolation and loneliness my friend is only a state of mind" so when I feel lonely or isolated I change my state of mind do something or go into town meet someone smile at someone say gidday to someone... and it works.

I still have no one in my life... female companionship wise... but Im okay with that I dont think I can be close to anyone right now as the hurt she caused is still pretty raw and I think it would be unfair on anyone else to attempt to be close during this time... it would be good to have someone I can just talk things through with or simply sit and have a good friendly chat with about whatever but well its not something I worry about now.

Almost 2 years have passed since Jo did what she did for whatever her reasons were... and now its time for me to just enjoy my own company get to know who I am again and simply enjoy life for what I make it... what she does now is her business Im no longer interested nor do I care very much what happens to her and that was the main purpose of coming all the way up here to disassociate myself from her so I could move on with my life... its no good staying put nearby to her for Id always be thinking "maybe... maybe theres a chance?" and questioning that so Id be continually hurt and so coming here I can disassociate and put her out of my life as a part of it... let her go on with her life as she chooses and get on with my own as I choose.

We did have a good run I think... 26 years almost 27 married... 30 in total together as a couple... 8 kids and a good life for the most part... so its over? thats okay were both young enough to move forward and find a new life a new love and be happy... seriously I dont know what shes doing or what she wants and I actually dont think she does herself but thats not my concern anymore so I dont waste time energy or emotion thinking about it.

Hopefully anyone going through a similar thing will read the journey Ive been through and seeing the place Im in now will see some hope and try to a) get help for themselves no one else but themselves b) sell the family home it simply has far to many memories to hang onto its like living in the past... a past that no longer exists except in your own mind... c) Go away A LONG way away preferably to another country where the chances of hearing an Aussie accent weather male or female is unlikely this gives you a chance to NOT be reminded by hearing them in that other Aussie accent... d) Move! To another state or a long way from where they are located

I dont know how long I will live up here... I guess as long as it takes and I need to take... but its now my home and I no longer spend any time thinking about Jo or whats happened... and FOR ME it was the only way I could manage to get to this point... a point where Im content, where Im happy, and where I can go a complete day AND night without any thought of her or what has occured.

I wish anyone going through a similar thing only good luck and my solid hope they get help sooner rather than later and do what they have to do to get through it intact, free, healthy and able to smile again.

Wheelin mate... Im presently looking at buying a rig I can use for the "grey nomad" thing but actually Im giving serious thought to becoming a Broome hippy with a market stall to sell stuff to the tourists and just working the season then go wandering Ive found I dont need much nowadays to do what I enjoy doing... and Ive also come to a point that I KNOW what woodworking I actually really enjoy so my needs in that are also less than I had before... so all I really need to do the "grey nomad" thing is say a nice offroad camper trailer with a tool box at the front for a few tools and bits of wood... and away I go whenever I get tired of Broome and feel like a change


oooh and the fish??? MAN!! OOOOHHHH MAN... DUDE ITS BLOODY AWEFRIGGINSOME!... went out with a mate on his boat the other day "just for a few hours mate catch a couple of fish for the pan have a few coldies and come back okay?" OKAY!!!... so ONE HOUR later we were back!! ONE HOUR MATE!! caught our limit of Barra, Spanish Mackerel, Golden trevally and a couple of others... ooooh the fishin is brilliant you wouldnt believe HOW BRILLIANT!!... oh and then he took me to his "spot" for some mudcrabs... oooh now you just gotta try mudcrab before you fall of the perch old son I assure you of one thing IF you like crab you will LOVE muddies!! ahem... pics? whos got bloody time to take pics when the fish are big enough to hurl you into the water if your not holding the rod in BOTH hands!!!

Good to have you back Ding its like reading a bloody good book you just can't wait to turn the page.

Yeh right big fish heard it all before and a little bloke like you would be bait for them. or being pulled water skiing fashion across the water.

I've had river muddies not real big ones many moons ago yep nice.

Just kep doing what ever it is your doing Ding enjoying life.

Hi WD, good ter see yer still in the land of the living,